Spectrum
by Lynnth2014
Summary: Daryl was unable to go after Carol when he learned what she & Rick did, and Carol has moved on to a new group. It's been five months since Rick left her on her own, and due to a chance encounter, Daryl and Carol meet. But will it go as smoothly as it would've if Daryl had gone after her earlier? Is Carol still Daryl's woman-shaped confidence? [Unrelated to the story: Spectrum]
1. Crossbow To Gun

The mangy, ravenous knotted-up mess of dogs tore at the heating flesh as the fever tore through the body of the young man who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. The blood caked on the dirty tan shirt he wore, and the sweat was seeping through the worn, thin material. Images of his new life flashed in his decaying mind, the blood rushing upward to jump start his body, and his fingers twitched as the reanimation began. The dogs scattered, a growl erupted from his throat, though his face was half hanging off by the man who had killed him, who was still watching him.

As the young man sat up, his killer approached, and using the heel of his boot, he repeatedly bashed the heel into the young man's skull The wet squish made his fingers tingle and twitch, the blood splattering on his jeans and boots made him breath even harder, and the thought of his young man dying replayed in his head, making his blood rush faster. He savored the moment and stepped back to observe his work. He chuckled, satisfied, and he headed off toward the camp, the sun in his eye.

––

Meredith Dixon made her way across camp, smiling at the two women she'd grown close to during her stay, picking up the food they offered and eating only a bit before giving the rest to the little girl Megan she had grown close to. Her mother, Lilly—the one on breakfast detail—thanked her, but Meredith said it was no big deal.

She continued toward her tent. Meredith Dixon was a middle-aged woman with no children, no husband, and no ties to the previous world. She was petite, but sturdy. She usually stuck to dark cargo pants and three layers—a tank top, a shirt and a button-down tee—her salt and pepper hair braided over her shoulder. She wore a knife at her hip and her gun at her side. She was never without them. They were her left and right hand, and considering she was a woman in a world where the men believe they were better suited to be in charge, she had to work hard for respect. She pulled her weight better than most of their men. She was respected by their leader, and she had earned her place. She had a group of two bowmen and two teenagers who didn't wanna deal out rations. They were too busy talking about which of the young men they would be with. It was almost like before, if they weren't too depressed over how all the hot guys are undead. It wasn't about what they look like; it's about how they can protect you and themselves. Feelings are so important too. She's tried to tell them, but they still pout.

She stopped once inside her tent and gazed down at the homemade Cherokee rose bracelet on her left wrist. Bobby had made it for her when she stopped and admired them a couple of months ago. He made it out of wood and leather. He was...twenty-two. He was so impressionable, and he was very kind. He was a good ol' country boy with cowboy boots, tracking skills, a hell of a good shot, able to use knives, guns, a bow and arrow, and he was resourceful. She'd grown attached to him these past few months, almost enough to tell him her name.

"Carol Peletier," she whispered to herself as to not forget the struggles and loved ones who came along with that name. "Carol Peletier." She whispered it for those she'd lost, for those who hopefully made it, and for herself. She wouldn't let go of who she was. Bobby had taught her that.

"Hey, Mery." That husky Southern accent sent a shudder up her spine as another voice pinged in her head.

Daryl Dixon. She pushed it away. She'd promised herself to never think of him or the girls ever again. She couldn't let her mind wander to them, ever, and it had nothing to do with her persona. It was her emotions. She cared deeply for Daryl Dixon and Lizzie and Mika Samuels, but they were in her past. She couldn't let what happen hold her back. She needed to be there for her people, and she couldn't let any of the kids get caught in the crossfire. And no matter what: she couldn't let anyone know about the group at the prison. They would try to go there or kill them. She couldn't let that happen.

She turned and smiled. "Hey."

He dropped his hands to his knees, panting. His curly red hair was damped from sweat in the Georgia heat, his skin wasn't sensitive the sun so much, so he had a nice tan, and his shirt with the sleeves rolled up revealed the muscles on his arms. She was starting to believe he was trying to impress someone. Someone, but she wasn't sure who.

His misty green eyes met hers, and he straightened up. "You're up mighty early."

"Just making the rounds." She raised her left hand to shield her eyes from the rising sun. "On duty?"

"Just got off." He shifted his feet. "Feel like takin' a walk?"

"Sure. I could use some air," she teased, and he smiled.

They walked through camp; they got their usual good mornings from the young ones who woke up and the other women who were off duty. They walked the perimeter, the barb wire was untouched, but they walked it once more to make sure no walkers were caught up inside. Bobby filled her in on what happened during his patrol, and she laughed. It sounded like a regular college prank. It was reassuring.

"Walker." He pointed to the struggling dead man.

"I got it." Carol unsheathed her knife and thrusted it through the softening bone. She ripped it out and bent down, getting its hands off the fence. "Give me a hand."

He swung his leg over and dragged the body off, tossing it to the side, and hopping back over. "Need a new string?" He gestured to the bracelet as she adjusted it once more.

"It's fine," she assured him, "but thank you."

"It ain't nothin'." He blushed at the attention and fell into step beside her. "You're pretty...tough."

Who isn't? "Gotta be." She ducked under a branch. "You've handled yourself well."

"Thanks." He started to speak when their leader came over to them.

"Good morning." Martinez caught Carol by the arm. "We need you, Meredith."

She nodded. She set a hand on Bobby's arm then left with Martinez. She was as close as it gets to his third in command. With her skills, she was as vital as Shumpert, and they needed her now. A group was threatening them, and Martinez had tried to talk to them, but they were too hostile. They were too close. They were going to try talking once more—they didn't need an outside threat right now. They already had a snake in the nest.

Carol knew the Governor was here, that he had a new woman, a new child. It drove her mad to know the man who had taken Axel's, Merle's, and Andrea's lives was only a few tents away, but she couldn't do anything. He was an asset, and as no one knew who he really was, just Martinez and Shumpert. She could handle working close with them—well, just Martinez. She'd grown close to him, and the way...he talked about him made her see why he was the way he was, not unlike herself. She liked him, but she didn't like or trust Shumpert. He was the reason she slept with one eye open.

"I want you and Phillip to stay behind in that broken house," Martinez spoke to the four of them— "Meredith", Phillip, Shumpert, and Walsh. "Walsh and Shumpert, you're with me. If they start firing, I want you two to use our rifles to even the odds. Understood it?"

They nodded.

"Let's go."

They grabbed their weapons bag, Shumpert drove, Carol and Phillip were dropped off at location B, and they went upstairs where the roof caved in, and they got a clear view of the terrain. Carol kept her distance and adjusted the scope of her rifle, and she kept him watching her with his one good eye. She turned her head, and he eyed her.

"Can I help you?" She lowered the rifle and faced him.

"It's nothing." He didn't look away. "Are you a good shot?"

"I wouldn't be here if I weren't," was her reply. She turned from him and took aim on one of the muscle.

"Just trying to pass the time. Looks like a long conversation," he observed.

"Focusing is more important than knowing who's at your side."

"I'd rather know."

She lowered the gun and closed the space between them, meeting his eye. "I know who you are, and I know what you're capable of, and if you put any of us at risk, I won't hesitate to kill you."

His pupil dilated. "You know me?"

"Yes, I do, "Governor"." She scoffed and returned to taking aim. "I know what you did to Andrea too. I doubt Lilly would like to hear how you fed your ex to your best friend after you stabbed him."

His angry flared, but he clenched his jaw. It wasn't his place. He wouldn't do anything, not here. Not yet. "So...you were with Rick's group?"

She didn't reply.

"You sure as hell weren't one of mine," he continued. "You had to have been with Rick's group. What happened? You get overrun? They all died? Rick? His daughter? That bitch Michonne?" He wasn't getting kind of response out of her. What would push her buttons? He remembered watching them before, and he remembered seeing her with that redneck. What was his name? It was just a horrid as Merle. Ah. Daryl. Daryl Dixon. "What about the Dixon boy? Daryl? Is he dead too? Walkers rip him from you?" His lip twitched as he noticed a shudder pass through her. Oh, how he missed this—the mind games he could play. He wanted nothing more than to make her shudder until all of her attitude was stripped away and she was begging for an end.

"Concentrate on the mission," she hissed.

"Yes, ma'am."

They watched Martinez come to an accord, it seemed to be going quite well too, and they were even smiling. She didn't base how well the conversation was going off smiles. She'd seen him smiling from ear to ear when he blew off the head of an ireful off man who was holding them back. She could tell by the way he was standing he didn't intend to fire, and soon enough, Martinez and the others were walking away. Carol and Phillip pulled their guns back in, Phillip felt...like it was insufficient, and Carol glanced at him as she turned and started for the door.

The floor creaked under their weight once more as they walked, Phillip paused momentarily, and he thought the wood would give, but it didn't. They left the house, Carol noticed a house in the distance, and she saw someone moving. She shouldered the gun and told him to tell Martinez before she approached it.

She crept along the porch, trying not to make the rotting boards creak. She grasped the doorknob and opened the door, it let out a nice, loud creak, and she mentally sighed. She pulled out her gun from the holster and entered the house. Listening, she heard two people upstairs, and she could tell by the way they stepped, one was man and the other was a woman. She heard a floorboard whine softly, and she approached a blue door that.

––

Rick and the others went out on a run for a few supplies to take back the prison, and with the tension with Daryl, he decided to take Maggie, Glenn, and Daryl. Hopefully Glenn would keep Daryl's angry off Rick. He was still so angry about Carol; angry at Rick for being such a "hypocritical bastard" to quote him during their many fights, but it'd been four and a half months—Carol was long gone. Daryl resented Rick for that too, Rick knew. With the walls crashing down, Rick didn't allow anyone to leave the prison, let alone their best. Daryl's plan to go find her kept getting pushed back until too much time had passed, and there would be no trail. Daryl was livid, cussing Rick out, lunging, and had Tyreese not been there, Daryl may have beaten Rick to death. That tension still hung in the air between them, and Rick would never be able to live down what went down four and a half months ago. He would never be able to make it up to him, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Daryl was here, Carol was not, and everything was back to normal. But that fight... There would be no coming back from it, not without something incredible happening. Something impossible.

––

_ Rick decided it was time to tell Daryl about Carol, he left Carl to pick the remaining pea pods, and he trudged across the gravel. It'd been two days, and Rick had managed to avoid him, but he couldn't avoid him anymore. Daryl had a right to know. He and Carol were... Hell, they coulda been a married couple, and no one would know the difference. They were that close. She changed him in ways only a woman who'd endured the same abuse could, and he'd changed her. Rick thought it was for the better, but it wasn't._

_ Rick smacked the worn farming gloves against his hand and squinted under the afternoon Georgia sun. He saw Daryl and Tyreese fortifying the gates with plywood and the rods from the gates that had fallen. He swallowed his lack of saliva and walked over to them. "Hey, Daryl."_

_ Daryl looked over his shoulder. It's 'bout damn time, he thought to himself. He'd been waiting for Rick to tell him where the hell Carol was. Maggie mentioned a run this morning and he feared the worst. He assumed she was busy elsewhere. He hadn't had time to look. He and Ty had been busy at the fence for two days straight. He didn't have a lot of time to think about her, but he's mind had been crazed when he overheard Maggie telling Glenn about the run they went on. He wanted to tear the prison down to find her, but he had to do what he had to do, not let his emotions rule him. He was securing the prison, but all he wanted to do was find Carol...dead or alive._

_ "Ty, could I talk to Daryl for a moment?" Rick asked._

_ "Sure. I'll check on Sasha." He wiped his brow and headed inside._

_ "This 'bout Carol." Daryl nodded._

_ "Yeah. It's about Carol." Rick met his eyes. "It was her. She's the one who killed David and Karen."_

_ Daryl felt ice run down his back. There was no way in hell Carol could that. She was toughening up, but not enough to kill two of their own in cold blood. Carol wasn't a killer. She was a caregiver. Daryl chewed his lower lip. A caregiver... She would die for anyone at the prison and take out any threat against them, even if that threat was in the form of two of her own family. She would step up and end that threat before it started. Killing them... Carol would do anything to protect the children. She didn't want another Sophia, he understood that. He didn't want that either. He could remember a time when he nearly killed someone because they were a threat, they were infected. Jim. He was going to kill him without a second thought, but Rick stopped him. Rick...made a decision to not kill the living. What decision did he make this time?_

_ "Where's Carol?" Daryl asked._

_ "I sent her off. I couldn't have her living here, not after that. I had to protect everyone." He put a hand to his chest. "I had to protect my children. I couldn't have her come back. God knows what she woulda done with those who are sick now—to anyone she saw as a threat."_

_ "She ain't a child killer," Daryl snapped._

_ "Do you think she woulda stopped if it was you?" Rick got in his face, his rage flaring up at Daryl defending her. "Would she have stopped if you were on that bed, coughin' and runnin' a fever? Hmm? What about Maggie? Glenn?"_

_ Daryl didn't respond._

_ "That's what I thought." He turned._

_ "Your ass must be jealous," Daryl called out._

_ Rick stopped and turned. "What?"_

_ "With all that shit that comes outta your mouth, your ass must be jealous!" Daryl shouted. "What the hell, Rick? Do you give speeches just to hear your own voice?" Rick stormed back, but Daryl kept on talking, not threatened. "'I can't sacrifice one of us for the greater good, because we are the greater good'," Daryl recited. "Beth told me 'bout that meetin'."_

_ "That was different! Michonne never raised a hand to one of our own!" Rick hissed._

_ Daryl scoffed and dropped the hammer before he felt the need to use it. It was his turn to get in Rick's face. "You let Shane come back!" he shouted. "After you knew he killed Otis—no way in hell a man stays back to save someone's ass without his gun. You let that asshole come back!"_

_ Rick's rage was boiling, but he had no reply. He did let Shane come back. He let Shane kill two, almost three more people. Shane was arrogant and rude and knew no boundaries, but Rick tried to look past all of that. He tried to find the man he knew growing up. And in the end, he paid for that. He couldn't let that happen again._

_ "Damn near kill you," Daryl seethed. "Damn near killed us all, but you brought that son of a bitch back. Why? 'Cause he was your friend! You brought him back, because he meant somethin' to you! Only you!"_

_ "I paid for that," Rick spat. "He tried to kill me. I wasn't gonna let that happen again."_

_ "She wasn't gonna kill you," Daryl roared. "She wasn't gonna kill nobody else."_

_ "Can you be sure?" Rick demanded. "Can you be sure that she would never get an urge to kill someone else? Huh? She's changed!"_

_ "We've all changed," Daryl informed him. "And if she was such a threat for killin' two innocent people, why is Carl still here? Huh? He killed a boy in cold blood. He wanted to go to Woodbury to kill even more people." Daryl gestured to Rick. "Why are you still here? How many people have you killed 'cause you thought they were a threat?"_

_ Rick punched Daryl in the face, Daryl automatically retaliated, like muscle memory with Merle growing up. They'd gotten a few good hits in before Maggie came out and saw them. Maggie dropped the supplies she was holding and bolted across the yard, Michonne and Tyreese saw and quickly followed._

_ "Stop!" Maggie cried, sliding to a stop between them, pushing them back, allowing Tyreese to grab Daryl by the armpits and hold him back._

_ "What the hell is going on?" Michonne demanded, looking between the two men. Rick had a busted lip with bloody knuckle—on the same injured hand, no less—and Daryl's cheek was split open, his knuckles bloody as well. They were both panting, eyes focused on the other, a burning wrath behind both set of blue eyes. They were so enraged._

_ "Lemme go!" Daryl shoved Tyreese off and his eyes stayed on Rick. "Hypocritical bastard."_

_ Maggie kept her eye on Daryl as he stalked off and they all turned to Rick. Maggie knew instantly, but the other two didn't. Rick wiped his lip with his good hand and tilted his head slightly. He looked at Daryl then the blood on his eyes and then met the faces of the people in front of me._

_ "What'd you say to him?" Michonne asked. "Was it about Carol?"_

_ "Yeah." He exhaled. "She was the one who killed Karen and David. I sent her away, and Daryl got pissed, as y'all can see. She wanted to stop this flu from spreadin'." He wiped the remaining blood away as he saw Carl running toward him._

_ Tyreese stared at Rick, his heart compressing. Carol was the one who killed Karen and David dragged their bodies out and burned them. He felt conflicted. He liked Carol, a lot. She was gentle and kind and always optimistic. She loved the children and the people here. He couldn't even picture her killing anyone, let alone Karen and David, two people she knew, spoke to, and even liked. He wanted to talk to her, ask her why, but Rick had told him why. He wanted to hear it from her. It all seemed so...unreal. Carol killed them. He couldn't swallow that._

_ "Dad!" Carl stopped in front of me. "What happened? I saw you and Daryl talking and then Daryl lunge at you when I turned around. Why?"_

_ Rick squinted in the sunlight. "I'll tell you in a minute. Get the others together. They should all know." He headed inside with Carl._

_ Michonne looked at Tyreese. "Guess you never really know people."_

_ "No, you don't," Maggie met her eyes. "Rick did what he did to protect us."_

_ "From a twig with a knife?" Michonne crossed her arms._

_ "She's dangerous," Maggie shot back. "Did you not hear?"_

_ "I heard him. Just think it's a bit odd how a man who's had more blood on his hands gets to decide how to handle a woman who __**just**__ got blood on her hands is all."_

_ Maggie met her eyes and tried not to agree. Rick had said it was up to them to decide on things like that. He'd stepped down as the leader. Maggie could never make that decision, no matter what Rick believed. She just wanted it over with. Karen, David, the flu, nearly losing Glenn and the others—she just wanted it over. They were almost out of the woods, and now Daryl's... She shook her head and started for the prison, questioning the little things now._

_ "I'm sorry," Michonne said to Tyreese, "about Karen."_

_ "She said that too," Tyreese murmured. "She apologized to me. I just thought...'She's so kind', but I guess she felt guilty." He picked up the hammer. "I can't think about this now."_

_ "Do you need a hand?"_

_ He looked around the weakening fence and then back at her. They both laughed to lighten the mood, and they got to work on the fence to keep their mind off the murders._

_––_

Rick had specifically asked to drive, because of where they were going, but once he got out the car, Daryl was in the driver's seat, Maggie was in the passenger and Glenn was in the backseat. He shook his head and tossed his bag in the back, climbing into the car and closing the door. Daryl played some music that set Rick's teeth on edge, and eventually, Maggie turned it off, claiming to have a headache, and Daryl let it go. It was surprising too. Daryl had changed so much since Carol left, and Rick didn't think he would ever return until Carol did. Had he known Daryl would've reacted in such a violent manner, Rick never would've bothered. Tempting as it was, Rick couldn't lie and say walkers got her. It would've been easier, though, and Daryl would've mourned and gotten over it... But Rick knew it was the not knowing that was killing a part of Daryl each day. Was Carol dead? Was she safe? Was she in a hole...starving to death? Is she someone's prisoner? Had anyone hurt her? Raped her? Killed her? Rick asked himself those questions every morning, and every morning, he had the same answer: It doesn't concern him anymore. Carol was now Carol's problem, and if she's dead then good. She won't have to suffer this world alone. If she's alive, he hoped she'd found someone to rely on. Anyone would do at that point.

"It's just there." Maggie pointed through the thick trees as she chopped and whacked thick leaves and branches away.

Daryl nodded.

They dug their way out of the woods and found the house they were hitting. Rick and Daryl searched the bottom floor, Glenn and Maggie searched the top floor. Rick swept the basement, found some useful and useless stuff, and most of these things would come in handy. He climbed the stairs and found Daryl holding a finger to his lips, creeping soundlessly toward the door to kitchen, and Rick stayed rooted where he was. It wasn't a walker, couldn't be. He didn't hear it, but Daryl did, so he decided to let Daryl handle this. He was, after all, one of their best.

Daryl heard the floorboards creek behind the door beside him again, Rick and the others were hidden, and he knew that person—not walker—would be just inside. He had to deal with it. He armed his crossbow, silently inched forward and threw open the door. Weapons were free of their holster and in the face of the other, and he came crossbow-to-gun with Carol Peletier.

They stared at each other in complete shock, and then they studied each other. Daryl found she was well-feed, maybe even plumped up a bit, and she had a different gun. Her clothes were much nicer—no holes, clean, even her boots weren't worn anymore. Her hair had grown considerably and was braided into a small bun, and she appeared to have a bit of muscle on her. She was doing well. She was alive, and not dead. The woman he found in the tan shirt wasn't Carol. She was someone who happened to have on the same tan shirt he last saw Carol in. He was so thankful. There was just one problem to their reunion: she wasn't alone. Who else was with her? The boy Rick left behind? Deadly people? Good people? They were taking care of her, though, and that was all that mattered at the moment. If they saw him and the others, then it would be a problem.

"Daryl." A mixture of sadness and angry crossed her sky blue eyes. She looked him over and smiled inside that he hadn't changed much. Daryl's shaggy brown hair was shorter than she remembered. He still wore those black jeans, they might not be the same pair, but they were still the same. He had the layers overs his chest as well, even in all this heat. His had dirt on him as usual, and she wanted to close the space between them and just—she didn't even know. Hug him? Smack him? Tell him to get out? She had to do something about him. Martinez was on the way, and she couldn't let him see Daryl and whoever else was inside the house. She needed a plan. She thought quickly.

She lowered her gun, and in turn, he lowered his crossbow. His skin tingled at her saying his name in the strangled way she did. He wanted to talk, possibly even _hug_ her. He'd been so worried about her, and with the shit hitting the fan that the prison, he was so sure she was dead. He could've smiled he was so glad she wasn't dead. Makes for the second time this woman has broken him down. You'd think he'd learn.

"Dixon!" a booming voice shouted. "Let's go!"

Daryl tensed. Dixon? Were they talking about him? No. No, they couldn't possibly. It must be Carol. She took up his last name. Why?

"Yo, Mery!" he shouted, approaching them.

She raised her gun at him again, Daryl tensed and she pulled the trigger without even batting an eye. She stepped back and glanced back once before disappearing around the corner. She climbed into the car with them, telling them there was nothing inside, and they drove off.

The bullet left a hole in the wall beside Daryl's arm.

"Carol." He turned and found the others behind him, but no one heard him speak her name. She was alive. Holy shit, Carol was alive. He met Rick's eyes. He would never tell.

– – –

Carol was shaken. She was so shaken. She felt like world was in a bottle of water that someone was trying to even out a power flavor mixture in. She handed over the rifle once back in camp, Phillip watched her closely until she disappeared toward her tent, and she saw Bobby lingering outside her tent. She exhaled deeply, but her annoyance went away with one of his bashful smiles. She sat beside him and began to pick at the Cherokee Rose on her wrist.

"It went good, I hear," Bobby spoke first. "You look pale. Y'all right?"

She nodded.

"Want some water?" He handed her a bottle of water from his daily supply.

"No, I couldn't. I have my own." She stilled her hands. "Are you on watch tonight?"

"Yes, I am. Why? Gonna keep me company?"

She nudged him in the side playfully. "Not tonight. I was just curious."

He hopped up and held his hand down to her, Carol looked up in surprise, but he wasn't backing down. She clasped his hand and allowed him to lead her through camp toward the "kitchen", and he sat her down beside Megan and Lilly and Tara. They were making dinner, and Bobby volunteered to help.

"You could use the company," he told her when Carol asked why she there.

"I have plenty of company," she replied, rising.

"Wait." Megan met her eyes. "Would you play a game with me?"

Lilly tucked stray hair behind her ear. "Phillip's on watch."

Carol offered the young girl a smile. "You'll have to teach me. I'm a quick learner, don't worry."

Megan smiled and started to replace the pieces. She was glad not to be playing by herself anymore. "Okay, so, this is your pawn—your soldiers."

Carol noticed one eye was missing from the King, so she picked up her King and held it as Megan explained the game. If she had a white or silver marker, her King would have a crossbow and torn jeans. It made her smile, even though it made her sad at the same time. Daryl was alive. He made it back from the run, and he was alive.

She began to glare at the little man in her hand. _The rat bastard_, she hissed in her mind. She set the small King down before she broke him, and Megan let her move first since she was a beginner. She was distracted by thoughts of her previous group as they played. Lizzie. Mika. Judith. Beth. Carl. Were they alive? She had no doubt that Lizzie made it through that flu, but with the weather lately—Steel can only last so long. Those walls would fall. She just prayed Rick was smart enough to fortify them while he still has the chance.

By the time Megan had her beaten twice, Carol had already decided what to do, and she smiled at Megan. She would do the one thing Rick had told her not to: she would go back to the prison. Tonight.


	2. Same Time, Same Place

She waited until everyone was in bed before she slipped out of her tent. She used the flashlight that had a dimmer top, and she was able to sneak out of camp. She saw Bobby on the tower of metal that'd made some time ago, and she was glad he was so focused on the left side of camp. She turned and began to trudge through the woods, and she kept a cautious ear, listening for any twigs snapping, moaning, hushed voices—anything that was a threat. She had to get there and speak to him. She hoped he was outside. If not, she would have to break into the prison—again.

She'd stopped half-way to the road that led to the prison, feeling like she shouldn't be going there, that there was somewhere else he would be. She set a hand on her stomach and felt uneasy. She changed direction and went back to those abandoned houses. She found her way easily by the marks Bobby had left in the trees. She was picking up the habit—one of many.

She climbed the stairs, the creak gave her away to anyone inside, and she opened the screen door then pushed the second door open. Inside, she found no one. She decided to look for anything they may have left. She found a bottle of water sitting in the living room on the table, and she picked it up, sniffing it. It had no odd smell. She took a small sip, and it didn't have a poisonous taste either. After Bobby endlessly told her of what tastes to avoid, she pretty much knew it was safe, especially when his muscled frame came into her peripheral vision.

"Nah, that's fine," he told her. "It ain't like I was thirsty or nothin'."

She swallowed and looked at the less than half-empty bottle. "Sorry. I didn't bring any. I should've." She started to take the last drink when he came over and took it. She laughed. "You said you didn't mind."

"Well, I lied." He drank the rest of it and set the bottle down. "I didn't expect you to show."

She crossed her arms. "I didn't know you were expecting me."

"I wasn't," he admitted. "I just...felt like I should be here, you know? Like I had to be here."

She didn't agree.

He bit his lip. "Uh, how you been?"

"Great. I've never been happier." She leaned against the table. "How are you? I mean Lizzie and Glenn and everyone."

"They're fine. Healthy. Lizzie kicked the bug, and she's out and about, buggin' Carl." He met her eyes. "She's been askin' 'bout you. More now." He opened his mouth, but she interrupted.

"I'm assuming no one knows you're here, right?" Carol said, changing the subject.

"No. Glenn's on watch tonight. Kid's easy to slip by."

She nodded and laughed. "Why am I even here?" She pushed off the table and started for the door then turned back to face him as he went to follow her. She held her hands out to keep him back. "It's not that I'm unhappy your alive and well, because I am, but I can't do this. This was...so stupid. We don't even exist to each other anymore."

"We don't exist to each other?"

She exhaled deeply. "Daryl—"

"No. What did you mean?" he demanded. "We ain't nothing to you no more? You get a new group and that's it? We're all dead to you?"

"I'm dead to them." She wasn't sad about it. "So, let's just keep it that way, okay? I have chores to do, and I should be resting. You need to rest as well. Good night." She walked out and ran to the woods, hiding behind a tree, but he didn't follow her. She headed back to camp and wished it had gone as well as when he found her in that cell, dehydrated and starving. She shook her head and kept walking._ You are not coming back out here again, not under any circumstances._

– – –

Daryl checked the gate in the early morning hours, reinforcing the fragile wood, and he noticed a few walkers approaching the gate. He needed to let off some steam, so he killed them through the fence, and he noticed a note on one of the walkers. He frowned, but bent down and picked it up. His name was written on it. He opened it and found girly handwriting inside. He'd never seen Carol write before, but he could see her writing like this. It was neat and perfect on the college rule blue lines. He studied the note and wandered what the hell was going on with her.

_Same time, same place?_

He stood up and headed inside as Glenn relieved him from duty, and he went to his cell. Beth spotted him and stopped chatting with Lizzie, who was babysitting as well. He removed his crossbow as the young blond stepped into his personal space and his cell. She didn't say anything, but she looked at him with concerned blue eyes.

"What?" He turned on his bed to face her.

She frowned. "Hatred is a curved blade."

"What the hell you been readin'?" He eyed her. "What do you want?"

"I saw the fight," she told him. "You two scared the heck outta me, fightin' like that. Why are you so angry with him? He was just doin' his job."

"He was bein' a dick."

She shook her head. "Daryl, he was thinking of our well-being, and Carol's fine. I know it. She's probably found some new group and is just waitin' to—"

"When did you see her?" he whispered.

"This mornin'." She sat down on his bed. "I thought I was dreamin', but she called me over, askin' about Lizzie and Mika. I think she wants them back."

"Can't blame her. They're hers."

"I know." She averted her eyes.

"What'd you do?"

"Nothin'! I just gotta feed Judy." She shot up and left the room, he shook his head, and she came back. "I'm takin' watch tonight. Rick said you can take it tomorrow night."

"Whatever." He rested his legs on the thin mattress. He heaved a sigh and wondered what Carol wanted. She was so curt the last time they spoke, like she wanted to forget she'd ever met him—No. That was being selfish. It wasn't just him. It was all of them, but it felt like she was directing it all at him. He hadn't done anything to her... He slumped and picked at the tip of the arrow in his hand. He hadn't done anything to help her. It ate at him every single day. He left her out there all by herself. He wanted so badly to explain. He wanted to, but there were a lot of things he wanted, and when he went after them, they ended badly.

He pulled the note out of his worn jeans and looked over the curved handwriting. She did want to see him. Speak at him, at least. He wanted to see her too. He wanted to know more about the people who had took her in. It wasn't about his concern for only her well-being. It was all of them. He didn't want another Governor. They were lucky to not have him come back yet. He would be back. Daryl had no doubt about that. When Phillip strikes, he had to know that he wouldn't have the support of other groups, like Carol's. He had to get answers, and Carol might know more than she realizes. She's never seen the Governor, and he was quite charming according to Michonne. He didn't want Carol to be suckered in and killed, not like the others. If Daryl would do anything, he would keep her alive. He had to.

– – –

Carol noticed someone off in the distance. She set the dishrag down and picked up her flashlight. She climbed over the barb wire and glanced behind her to make sure no one was following. She walked a good fifty feet away from camp and shut off her flashlight, relying only on the moonlight. She saw the small girl approach her.

"Get down." Carol grabbed her wrists hand hauled her down, covering the lantern the young girl was holding. "I told you not to come tonight. It's too risky."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't care." She pulled the hood down and her sparking blue eyes met Carol's. "Here. I gotta note from Daryl for you."

"Beth," she scolded. "I told you not to—Do you ever listen to me?" Carol sighed.

"Nope." Beth smiled. "I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you made it here okay." She took the note. "No one saw you leave?"

"No. Daddy and Rick are on watch. I got out through the Tombs. I'll have to fix the hole in the morning, but I get up early to feed Judy anyway." She reached into her back pocket and handed Carol the medicine she'd taken from Hershel's bag. "This is the last of it."

Carol closed her fingers around the four tablets. "Thank you. You don't know what this means to me."

"Anything to help. I—I feel partly responsible. Don't know why, but I do." Beth laughed nervously then stopped. "I better head back."

They rose, Carol put the pills in her pocket, and Beth hugged her tightly. Carol closed her arms around the young girl. They'd found each a while ago, before Martinez found Carol. Beth was on a run with Maggie and Glenn, but walkers intervened, and they got separated. She found Carol, and they'd been in touch ever since. They'd gotten close, swapping life stories. Carol told Beth all about Sophia, and Beth told Carol all about her wants and dreams before the world ended. They'd both made new ones, but it was just a child's hope.

"Be careful, Beth." Carol handed her a bottle of water. "You never bring any."

"Thanks." She gave a half-smile. "I miss you."

Carol set a hand on her shoulder. "I miss you too, but this is just how it is. You need to go now. I have to help keep watch tonight, but I appreciate this."

She nodded. "Til next time." She pulled the hood back up and disappeared into the darkness.

Carol returned to camp and met Bobby at the tower. "Here." She handed him one of the pills. "Don't ask. Swallow."

He took the medication. "Where did you find these?"

"What part of "don't ask" didn't you get?" She sat down beside him. "You need medicine, and I found some. Let's leave it at that."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

It was a slow night, they kept each other awake, and just before sunrise, Carol turned in. Bobby teased her about abandoning him, and she made him laugh by continuing to leave him. She stepped into her tent and emptied the pills from her pocket, finding a note among the tablets. She eyed it. Oh, that's right. Beth said it was from Daryl.

She unfolded it and found semi-sloppy handwriting. She frowned as she read over it.

**Same time, same place?**


	3. Absolutely Not

[Have a great Thanksgiving everyone. I'll see you after the holiday!]

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead**

She crumpled it up. No. No, absolutely not. She was not going back to that house. She had made a deal with herself, and she wasn't going back on it. But then she started to think it over as she paced her tent.

What if Lizzie had gotten worse? What if Mika was sick? What if one of them had died? What if something had happened to him in particular? No. Daryl wouldn't write her if he was injured to meet him. It was important if Beth told him she knew Carol's whereabouts. It also meant that it was very serious. It could be anything. Maybe bandits were about now. It wouldn't surprise her. This group has dealt with a few of them, like the small camp just a few miles away. What does he want?

She checked her clip then grabbed her knife and headed to the house as Bobby as relieved from watch by Pete. She knew Bobby would probably check in on her like he always did, so she made sure to leave a lump in the sleeping bag. If it worked, she would be disappointed and thankful. If it didn't, she could lie and say she had to use the bathroom before she went to bed. If he stays to wait for her, she'll say she got distracted by walkers or by animals. It would probably work. Bobby didn't like to believe was anything bad, and that would get him killed, no doubt.

She traipsed through the woods, enjoying the sounds of the early morning, though the birds were a bit on the annoying side. It reminded her of before. All of these sounds were drowned out by cars and construction workers—noise pollution. It used to drive her insane, but now...she missed it. She'd told Beth and Carl that, and it seemed even truer now. There were a lot of things she missed, but the past was the past. She probably wouldn't live long enough for civilization to be back on its feet, even in the early stages. Judith, Carl, Lizzie, Mika—the young ones will be the building blocks of our future. Their survival means so much more now than ever. She hoped Lizzie and Mika took what she taught them to heart.

In the distance, she saw the house. She continued walking, and suddenly, something grabbed her foot. She groaned as she fell into the leaves and dirt, and she saw a walker that was so decomposed, it was becoming one with a tree. It had enough fight to keep a hold of her boot. It was a good thing she wore them too, because it had been biting her boot.

Rolling over, she slammed the heel of her left foot into the skull of the walker. It went in like a knife through butter, exploding tissue and brain matter on the tree, her boots and her pants. She groaned in disgust and stood up, wiping off wet dirt and grass. She sighed and watched her step as she went over to the house, climbing up the stairs and opening the door. She found Daryl inside.

"What the hell?" He looked surprised. "What happened to you?"

"I read a fashion magazine, and they said this was the newest look." She crossed her arms. "Walker."

"I got that. I meant why're you so late."

"Me? Late? How am I late? You're the one who messaged me." She scraped the heel of her boot on the wood and glanced up as he gave her a confused look. "I guess Alzheimer's a new worry."

"You asked me here," Daryl stated. "I ain't messaged you. I don't even know where your group is."

"You didn't send a note with..." She scoffed. Beth. "Could I see your note?"

"Lemme see yours."

They exchanged the note, Carol immediately recognized Beth's handwriting, and Daryl saw similarities from the note Carol had supposedly written. They met each other's glance, and Carol decided to explain how she met Beth rather than just leave. It may get her in trouble, but the last thing she needed was Daryl thinking she had some important news. Beth was getting to ballsy lately.

He closed the space between them halfway through the story. "Beth found you? When?"

"About three or maybe four months ago. Why?"

Beth knew all this time that Carol was alive and well. All of the time he had spoken to her about how he wished he had some clue as to whether or not Carol was alive, she just nodded and lied to his face. He needed to have a talk with Beth. He backed up a bit and let her continue.

"And here we are by one of her lies." Carol uncrossed her arms and leaned against the back of the chair behind her. "So...how are you?"

"Fine." Daryl closed the space between them. "You all right?"

She nodded. "You look good for "fine"."

"You too." He pointed to her hair. "It's nice."

She shrugged a shoulder. "See you got a haircut. It's about time. Who conned you into it?"

"Beth did it."

"Ah, Beth." She crossed her arms again, uncomfortable. "So, how are Lizzie and Mika?"

"They're fine. Lizzie's back in good health, and Mika's doin' just fine." He reached into his bag and handed her a bottle of water. "You look thirsty."

She smiled softly. "I'm fine, but thank you."

He set it on the table. "How you been? Since the last time I seen you, I mean."

"Shaken," she admitted. "It took a while to grasp my surroundings, but I did. I found a group of my own. There's quite a few people and a lot to do." She rubbed her arm as she told him about when she first left.

––

_ Carol chewed her thumbnail as she sat in the gray car Rick had helped her pack to leave his group. She wanted to get Lizzie and Mika, but Rick was right. They were better off in the prison. Daryl and the others would get the medicine, and they would be fine. There they had food, water, shelter, but out here... There was nothing but death and blood. She looked over the map once more and decided to try for Macon. It was worth a short._

_ She started the car and drove, the wind pushing through her hair, and she glanced over to the left momentarily and when she looked at the road again, she slammed the brakes and found a group passing by. There were three woman, three men and a little girl. Her heart was pounding, but she didn't dare get out of the car._

_ "Whoa, whoa, whoa," the Hispanic one held his hand out. "Easy there."_

_ "Set out of the car." A black man was at her window now with a machine gun._

_ She complied, stepping out with her hands up. "Are you all right?"_

_ "We're fine," a brunette replied, holding the little girl close. "You?"_

_ She nodded._

_ The black man frisked her, pocketing her knife and gun, and he pushed her roughly forward._

_ The Hispanic sent the man a glare for his unnecessary force. "You got a camp?"_

_ "No. It's just me." She glanced at them._

_ "You've been out here alone?" He was skeptical. He, too, underestimated her._

_ "Yes. I was with a group, but...shit happens," she replied. "I...lost them." It wasn't a lie. She did lose them. Or, rather, they lost her._

_ "You been bit or scratched?" he asked._

_ "No. I'm clean."_

_ "What's your name?"_

_ She didn't even blink. "Meredith Dixon."_

_ "Well, Meredith, you can come with us." He nodded to the man who had taken her weapons. "But we don't tolerate dead weight. You fall behind; you're on your own. Understand?"_

_ She nodded and took her weapons, holstering them. "I understand."_

––

"It's safe?" Daryl had to be sure.

"Very." She stepped back. "I—I should go. They're going to wonder where I am."

_Wait, don't go_. He stepped forward. "Why'd you take my name?"

She stopped. "I—I couldn't be Carol Peletier. I just...said the first name that came to mind." She shrugged. "It's nothing special, just a name."

_Just _my_ name,_ he huffed in his head. "Look, you could come back and—"

"No, I can't." She shook her head. "I'm not welcome there, and I don't want to go back."

"You can't mean that."

"What's there for me?" Carol asked. "Yes, Lizzie and Mika are there, and yes, I would love to have them back, but it's better for them there. Beth can take care of Judith. I don't have a purpose there anymore."

He met her eyes. "What 'bout me?"

"What about you?" She lifted her eyes to his. "You're a good friend, and you mean a lot to me, but you're better off without me."

"Who the hell said you get to decide what's good for me?" He searched her eyes. "I don't not need you around. Lizzie and the other kids miss you. I... I miss you."

"If you missed me so much, why in the hell didn't you look for me?" she hissed. She didn't mean to for it to, but it came out bitter, resentful and not at all like Carol used to address him.

He blinked and dropped his eyes. "I tried. Things got real crazy real fast, and I wasn't able to go lookin' for you."

"Like you looked for Andrea."

"Hey, I wanted to go back!" he shouted. "It ain't my fault you stabbed and burnt Karen and David to hell!"

"I was protecting the group!" she shouted back. "What the hell you were doing? Taking orders from a man who refuses to step up and realize that he's holding onto a past that does not exist anymore?"

"Rick's doin' the best that he can!"

"I bet he is," she seethed. "I bet he's doing a great job while you and Michonne and Hershel and Maggie and Glenn and Sasha pull all the weight!"

He didn't respond. She was right.

She sighed. "I—didn't come here to fight." She dropped her arms. "I came to ask what you wanted, but since don't have anything to ask, and I already know about Lizzie and Mika, I'm going. It was really great seeing you after all this time, but...I have to go. I won't be back either. It's better if we both just let go."

"Carol—"

"Goodbye, Daryl." She stepped back and turned on her heel.

He followed. "You don't get off that easy." He grabbed her wrist. "Look, we got attacked a few nights ago. Was that your people?"

"Attacked?" She frowned. "No. Martinez hasn't sent anyone to attack a prison. He doesn't even know you exist. I don't think anyway."

He did a retake. "Martinez?"

"My camp's leader, Ceasar Martinez."

"Martinez is the Governor's right hand man," he informed her. "Is he there? Are you hidin' him?"

"Hiding him?" She glared. "I'm not hiding him." Martinez is.

"You sure? There ain't no one-eyed man at all in that camp?"

"No." She bit her lip, it was her only tell, and she hoped Daryl didn't pick up on it. She was already on his kill list, no doubt. She didn't want Daryl to be the hero and try to kill him and possibly die trying. The last time anyone opposed him, almost all of his own men died. Phillip had quite the silver tongue as well. He could turn normal businessmen into killers and that was before the dead walked. She didn't want to see what his silver tongue could do to the people at her camp. Many of them were good people just trying to survive. She didn't want them caught in the crossfire. She would find a way to deal with Phillip. She had to; because the minute Daryl finds out...the clock starts.

She met Daryl's eyes, and he knew just by her silence.

"Take me with you. I'm gonna end this."

"No!" She pushed him back by his chest. "I can't risk them hurting you. If Martinez harbors any resentment for what you did at Woodbury...he'll kill you. I can't let him hurt you." Her voice was airy. "You almost didn't make it back the last time. I go alone."

"No, you ain't goin' alone."

"Yes, I am," she snapped. "I'm better alone. I can handle this _alone. _That's how it was meant to be. I think all of the signs have made themselves more than clear. Go back to the prison, and do not track me, Daryl Dixon."

"You ain't alone," he informed her, grasping her cheek to make her look at him. "I'm with you."

She set her hand over his, leaning into his touch. He smelled of dirt and leather. She caressed his hand with hers. "Daryl, I—have to go." She stepped back. She couldn't do this, not here, not now, not with Daryl. He wouldn't know what it would mean. Ever since Sophia, she never allowed herself to be that close to anyone else. Daryl just...happened. She didn't know when it happened; there was just a moment when she realized that _something_ happened. She didn't exactly know when or how, but she knew nothing was ever going to be the same between them.

"Carol." Daryl grasped her wrist again, and she whimpered softly. "Just wait."

"Damn it, Daryl!" She whirled around. "I can't do this, not here."

"Do what?"

"Don't do this, Daryl. You have no idea how how much I—" She swallowed hard. "For the past three months, I've...thought so much about them—your group. You especially."

He swallowed hard at her words. Your group. _Your_, not our. "I know. Might have gotten sick."

"No, Daryl. I wasn't concerned about your health, I knew you would be fine. I thought about how you were handling my absence, if you even cared that I was gone, and I thought about the fences giving out. I was worried that you might die." Her eyes were burning. "You're strong—so strong—but with all those walkers, not even you could make it through that."

He frowned. "Carol, I—"

"I know." She wiped the tears that fell. "That's why I'm going." She padded down the stairs toward the woods, and Daryl felt like a dick. "Please, just go away, Daryl." She slipped into the woods, and Daryl watched her frame get further and further away until her distance was great enough that he didn't see her. That's when he made his move. He tracked her footsteps and followed her back to her camp.


	4. Jinxed It

Maggie sighed in relief as she and Sasha applied the last of the cement to the weakening gate, fortifying it even more, and they moved out of the way as Tyreese and Glenn moved the metal beam in between the gates and began torch the ends to the gate. They'd left the bottoms untouched so they could do so.

"That should do for now," Sasha panted, wiping her brow, washing the cement mixture off her hands.

Maggie washed up and went to the cell block. "Glenn?" She checked their room, but he wasn't in there. She spotted Beth. "Beth." She caught up to her. "Have you seen Glenn or Daryl?"

"No." She set Judith down in her crib. "I thought Daryl went huntin'. He needed some air, so I assumed Rick let him go hunt."

Maggie nodded. "Just let me know if you see either of 'em."

Beth nodded. "Daddy's on watch, so you can rest now."

"Intend to." She stretched her aching arms and returned to her cell, plopping down on the bed. She rolled over and stared at the gray well in front of her. She sighed and closed her eyes. What now? How could they through this? He had such issues with... Glenn.

––

Rick watched Beth closely as she tended to Judith. The young girl knew that baby better than any of them. He was grateful Beth was so attentive to her. He wouldn't know what to do if Beth wasn't here for Judy. He pinched the bridge of his nose and pushed his thoughts back. It wasn't the time for this. He'd given it two minutes and that was all.

"Rick." Sasha waited at the bottom of the steps. "You seen Hershel?"

"He's in the tower with Michonne. Why?"

"No reason." She was lying. "The fence is done. You can't see over it, but it's strengthened. It's worth the risk."

"It is." He padded down the steps. "Did you use all of it?"

"Of that batch. We have a few bags left."

"Good. That's good." He walked by her. "Tyreese still out there?"

"Yes." She eyed him. "Why?"

He didn't answer. He left the cell block and headed down to the gate where Ty and Glenn were. He checked on the number of walkers outside, and he figured they would need four to fend, four to dig. Daryl, Michonne, Sasha and Maggie could fend off walkers while Tyreese, Glenn, Bob and himself dig. If he could just find Daryl, that would work. He went out hunting and hasn't been back since. What the hell did he find?

"Hey, Dad." Carl met him at the second gate.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember how I told you Carol was teaching the kids how to use knifes?" He squinted in the sunlight.

"What about it?"

"You didn't want her to stop." Rick nodded. "Well, I was wondering if we should teach them how to shoot. Just the older ones. Like Lizzie and Michael."

"We can't spare the ammo, not after what happen the other night."

Carl nodded. "That's exactly why they need to learn. If anyone does get through our walls, we can't protect everyone. Lizzie and Michael need to learn to defend themselves, but more importantly, the other kids. Could you leave Judith defenseless?"

Rick narrowed his eyes.

"Say everyone was out here, and we lost most of them, who would keep her safe? Most of the Woodbury survivors had never held a gun before, and some can't use a gun. Just think about it. Please."

"All right, I'll think about it." He tipped Carl's hat. "Go help mind the fence. I need to find Daryl."

Carl frowned. "Is that such a good idea? You and Daryl alone?"

"Don't worry about it. I can handle Daryl." He walked toward the prison.

Carl was skeptical. Daryl was a tough son of a...er, gun. Dad was tough too, but Daryl... Carl didn't want to see who would've won that fistfight. It made him shudder to think about it. He saw Lizzie and Mika out by the gate, and he muttered a curse under his breath. He walked over to them. "Hey. Hey!"

"What?" Mika was pale.

"You aren't supposed to be by the gates," Carl hissed. "You need to get back. It's not safe."

"You're out here," Lizzie replied calmly, watching the walkers tug at the chain-link fence.

"Yes, but I have a gun, and I can use it. What do you have?"

"A knife."

"Let's just go." Mika tugged on Lizzie's sleeve and headed back inside. It wasn't worth it.

"Go," Carl commanded.

"No." She exhaled deeply. "Do you think they get lonely?"

"No. They don't feel anything." He eyed her. "How long have you been out here in the sun?"

She ignored him. "What's gonna happen? I'll faint."

A gunshot rang out, Carl reacted and shoved Lizzie down, and she yelped as another one sounded. Glenn and Tyreese crouched down behind the reinforced wall, Rick ducked down behind a car and looked for who shot.

A man was in one of the trees, Rick spotted him quickly. He popped off a few more rounds, not particularly aiming at anyone or anything, and Rick noticed something familiar about the man. He tried to get a better view, but a bullet flew by his shoulder, almost hitting it. He did see Carl and Lizzie on the ground, only hidden by the crowd of walkers. He cursed.

"See what you did?" Carl growled.

"Like you knew!" Lizzie shot back. "Get off me!"

"Shh!" He covered her mouth.

A bullet shot the ground by them, Carl moved them closer to the walkers, Lizzie felt the rocks scrapping her skin, and the walkers' growls grew louder at the scent of blood. She groaned against Carl's strained brown shirt, and he hushed her again as another bullet landed beside them.

Suddenly, the gun stopped, the clip now empty, and a grunting sound came, followed by hurried feet. They were moving away. Carl looked over as Rick and Glenn and Tyreese moved out of their hiding places, Lizzie pushed him off, glaring as she inspected her bloody elbows, and he offered her an apologetic hand to help her stand. She took it.

They started for the gate when she suddenly scream, Carl jumped and pulled out his gun, but what she'd screamed at couldn't be solved by a gun. Not yet anyway.

In the midst of the lamest shooting ever, Mika had been caught in the fire. She had two bullets in the chest, bleeding all over the place, and Lizzie ran to her. Carl screamed for his father to get Hershel, Rick didn't see, his view was compromised by garden, so he just rushed inside to find Hershel.

"Mika, hold on." Lizzie held her hand as Mika whimpered in pain. "What can we do?" She looked at Carl.

He had no idea. When he was shot, Hershel and his dad took care of it. He could still remember the feeling of Hershel's metal tool digging into his chest, searching and seizing a small fragment of the bullet. He pushed it back and bent down. "Hershel's coming. Hold on, Mika."

Lizzie pushed Mika's hair back from her face, and Mika stopped breathing. "Mika?" Lizzie put her head on Mika's chest. "What do we do? She's not breathing!"

Carl remembered when Hershel stopped breathing, how Lori used CPR. He had no clue as how to use CPR, but he remembered how she did it. He glanced at Lizzie then opened Mika's mouth. He set his mouth over hers and blew into her mouth three times, not sure how many times he was supposed to do it, then he began the compressions. There were five compressions. He knew that much. But the compressions made blood ooze down her shirt, Lizzie just stared in horror, and Carl forced himself not to give up.

Hershel and Rick made their way down to the gate a few minutes, a loud scream tore through the yard, and Rick ran ahead, seeing Lizzie and Carl being backed against the gate by a walker. Rick didn't hesitate. He shot the walker before he got a good look at it then went over to them. They were both covered in blood.

"Carl, Lizzie." He looked them over. "Are you hurt? Is this yours?" He noticed Carl's gun was gone.

Lizzie pushed Rick away and ran over to the walker he'd just shot, Hershel couldn't even look, and Rick turned. He stared at the little girl he'd taken down. It was Mika Samuels. She still had fresh blood on her shirt. It didn't even have time to dry before she reanimated. He wasn't gone more than five minutes. That was the fastest change he'd ever seen. Jenner had said it takes two minutes to two hours or longer.

"You killed her," Lizzie wailed. "You killed her!"

"Lizzie—"

"Get away from us," Lizzie hissed, her dark eyes smoldering, and Rick didn't try to comfort her. He did what she asked. "I'm so sorry, Mika." She buried her face in the bloody shirt, sobbing.

Carl picked up his gun that Lizzie had grabbed and thrown when Mika reanimated to keep him from killing her. He watched Hershel and his father walk away, Hershel looked so distraught, and Dad was gripping his gun tightly, his jaw clenched. _So much for keeping them safe_, Carl thought. At least Carol will never know.

He looked at Lizzie. "I'm sorry. I'll—I'll go." He tried to walk away, to let her mourn in peace, but the sobs that tore through her made him feel like he was abandoning her. He remembered how it felt when his mother had died. Lizzie had lost both her parents and thanks to his father, she'd lost her godmother and her only sibling. He crouched down beside her and gave her an awkward pat on the back.

She looked up from Mika's shirt and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing hard. Her face had cold blood on it, Carl could feel it against his neck, and her hands clutched his shirt in bloody fists, and he let her cry out her pain, trying not to be so stiff. He'd only been around women, and most of them left to cry. He wasn't sure how to comfort a crying girl. He'd never had to do it before. So, he used his parents as an example, and put his arms around her shoulders in a comforting hug. It seemed to be working, because her sobs began to slow.

Across the yard, Tyreese had seen everything unfold, and he prayed for Mika and for Lizzie. He was thankful he had Sasha, now more than ever. He needed her more than he could ever say. She was the only link to sanity he had. Bossy, short-tempered, unyielding sanity, but it was better than grasping at straws. He looked at Glenn, and he saw yet another shimmer of hope...die in the young man's eyes. Another grave to dig. How many graves will they have dug before this was over? Hundreds? Thousands? Millions? He had no doubt that those who had any humanity left across the globe had dug thousands of graves altogether. He never wanted to know the actual number. It would be too much for him to bear.

Glenn kicked the beam into place angrily and tossed his gloves on the ground. "We're done for today," he murmured, walking off, his hands at the back of his neck in an attempted to control his rage. He needed to see Maggie, and then he and Rick were going to have a talk about those pricks who think they can come and take what did not belong to them. They needed to be dealt with. Assholes.


	5. Who Am I?

"What were those shots?" Maggie asked Rick as he walked into the cell block, but Rick didn't respond. "Daddy, what were those shots?"

"Some asshole shot into the yard."

"Was anyone hurt?" Beth asked, cradling Judith.

"Mika," Rick answered. "Mika...was..."

"Where is she then? We have gauze in the first aid kit," Beth began. "And we have—"

"No need for that, Bethy." Hershel sat down on the steps and met her glistening blue eyes. "Mika's dead."

Maggie felt sick to her stomach, and Beth disappeared into her cell, claiming to have to feed Judith, and Rick pinched the bridge of his nose, seeing the little girl's bloody body, wanting to feed on his son and Lizzie. Just when things were getting better, they fell apart.

Maggie dropped onto the bed behind her and rested her head against the wall. She wasn't close to Mika. She barely knew the little girl, but she was one of them. She was a ten. Ten. How could this happen? Maggie made sure the kids were in the admissions building just this morning before she went out to help Sasha. They were supposed to be waiting on Beth. Why didn't Mika stay inside?

Glenn stepped into the cell, and Maggie met his eyes. "You heard?"

"I was there." He sat beside her. "I saw it."

"What happened?"

"Don't worry about it." Glenn grasped her hand. "It won't happen again. I'll make sure of it."

"A cold corpse speaks louder words," Maggie informed him. "Don't do this."

Glenn exhaled deeply. "If they strike again, we won't have a choice. We can't lose anyone else."

"Thank you." She rested her head on his shoulder. "It's not a good time, but we need to talk."

"Not here." He grasped her hand and led her out of the cell block, toward the tower. They saw Carl and Lizzie heading inside, Maggie stopped and hugged Lizzie. She could never imagine losing Beth, not like that.

Lizzie smiled weakly and hurried inside.

Carl sighed. "I'm going to help." He was looking at Glenn. "Tyreese and I are gonna dig her a grave."

"That's sweet of you." Maggie wrapped her arms around herself.

"We're putting her by her dad."

"I'll help you make a marker for the grave," Glenn offered.

"I'll see if Lizzie has any thoughts on it." He went inside slowly, not entirely sure if he wanted to bother her with this or not. He like she was a wounded bird, and he didn't want to harm her any further. He and Lizzie butted head, but all in all, she was a good person. She saved Glenn from a walker, even if she almost got bitten. At least she had the choice to bury Mika.

Glenn and Maggie looked over the yard from the tower, Maggie spoke to him in a hushed tone, Tyreese began to dig the grave for Mika, Carl returned a few minutes later to help him, holding a blanket to wrap Mika in, and they made quick work of it. Glenn couldn't take his eyes off the wrapped little girl. He would never raise a child in this world, and he wished Maggie agreed. He wasn't that lucky.

"No, thank you." Lizzie passed by Beth, who was holding a bowl of peas.

"You gotta eat," Beth scolded.

Lizzie ignored her and continued to walk away, she only made it a few feet into the yard before Carl caught up to her, and she stopped. "Thank you for earlier, but I'm not hungry. I just want to be left alone."

"I'm not here to drag you back." He nudged her ribs. "C'mon." He ran toward the cell block. "C'mon."

Lizzie watched him curiously then ran to catch up. They slowed down, panting as they went to his cell, and Carl reached under his bunk. He waved her down, so she sat down on the floor and crossed her legs as he pulled out a metal box. He opened it and showed her his stash. She stared.

Among a few bullets, a sheriff's badge, a picture of his parents and him, were heaping piles of Tootsie Rolls. They were a bit outdated, but they still had the same taste. Carl handed her one, and she took it without pausing. She hadn't had chocolates in years.

She couldn't unwrap it fast enough, and her mouth filled with saliva the minute it touched her tongue. It was delicious. Carl smiled at her expression and ate one himself. Lizzie couldn't help the tears as she chewed the second Tootsie Roll. On Halloween, Mika would trade almost any candy for Tootsie Rolls. They were her favorite.

"Thank you."

Carl shrugged a shoulder. "Probably get sick if I ate them all myself."

She smiled a small sad smile. Maybe she wouldn't be as alone as she thought. It would be nice to have a friend right now. Carl was a good person, though trigger happy. She was still upset at how quickly he drew his weapon to stop Mika. It was just a different Mika than they were used to. A dangerous Mika... It didn't matter now. Mika was gone, and there would be no coming back.

––

"Meredith." Lilly caught Carol on her way to her tent. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Could you watch Meghan?" Lilly and Brian had plans tonight, and they'd finally managed to get Tara and Alicia out of their RV.

"If you give me a minute to change, sure." Carol stepped into her tent and ran her hands down her face. She was a dumbass. She couldn't believe how she'd acted toward Daryl. It'd been on her mind the entire walk by here. She didn't want him to play the hero. Heros always die. That was the last thing she wanted. She just wanted Daryl to go back to the prison and not follow her back here and risk one of the men spotting him and following him back prison, though she doubted Daryl would be easy to track without getting caught.

She removed her boots and began to unbuckle her belt when Bobby stopped outside her tent with Meghan chasing him. She still had her innocence. Carol envied that. She still saw the world through the eyes of a child, not like Carl. He was forced to be an adult, but Meghan had been protected for years from this new world. Carol didn't want to see that light leave her eyes. It left Sophia's eyes so early.

"Can I help you?" She crossed her arms.

"Lilly asked me to bring Meghan to you."

Carol kicked her shoes to the side and let the little girl inside. "Thanks, Bobby."

He gave a nod then left.

Meghan looked up at Carol. "Wanna play chess?"

_No._ "Sure." Hopefully it'll knock you right now. She sat down as Meghan unpacked her bag, setting up the game.

Thankfully, Meghan only lasted through two and a half games, Carol covered her in the blanket she'd brought with her, turning the light off and climbing into the sleeping bag. She didn't sleep a wink knowing Meghan was beside her. She was too worried about what could happen to Meghan. It wasn't just the walkers, there were sick people out there, and Carol knew what bastards would to do a young, sweet girl like Meghan. She would never let that happen. She would never have another Sophia. She also would never agree to babysit again. It was too much stress.

Meghan had woken up early and went to help her mother, and Carol was too awake to sleep. She decided to change in the early morning light. She yawned and sifted through her bag to find clean pants and a shirt. She began to undo her pants.

––

Daryl waited in the shadows for the sun to retire, counting the men and woman in Carol's group, but he didn't see the Governor among them. He did see one child, who was taken to Carol's tent. He could tell the girl was close with Carol, and he watched as they played almost three rounds of chess. Carol was obviously letting the girl win. He found that amusing.

He stayed awake until morning, used to staying up from keeping watch, and he saw the little girl leave with who he assumed was her mother. Carol appeared to have gotten no sleep, and he knew why. He crept through the shadows, closer to her tent, and he'd taken note that her tent was further away from the rest. Either she wasn't making friends or she wanted to keep them at a distance. Could be both. He felt like she was turning into who he used to be, and that unsettled him. Carol wasn't the type, no matter how she acted like she was. Woman was a sponge. Adsorbed everything, let nothing go. She was changing herself by force. Why?

Carol began to undress in her tent, Daryl looked away, and his eyes caught a peeping tom. He surprised that anyone would peep on her when there were other woman changing at that time. He didn't get a good look, but he saw a hand. He wanted nothing more than to shoot a bolt at that hand to get that pervert's mind off staring at Carol and so his other would be pulling out an arrow instead. Thankfully, the design of the tent provided for a poor view. He still didn't look until he was sure she was dressed.

He gave a whistle he'd taught her during the previous winter.

_What_? Carol tensed for a moment._ That whistle_. It sounded like a bird, but she knew better. She listened and it came again. She turned her head, but she didn't see anything, just darkness and trees. She wrote it off as exhaustion and a very annoying bird. She went to help the others prepare water and breakfast. They didn't have much, so the "Brian", Martinez and a few others were going out to see if they could find food. Hopefully, they did.

Once the sun had risen, Martinez prepared the others, and Carol had heard he wanted to speak with her. She waited by her tent, talking to Bobby. She was laughing when Martinez came over, Bobby excused himself, and Martinez glanced around, making sure no one was around to hear him.

He pulled her aside toward the trees, Daryl kept his back to the tree and listened. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure. What is it?"

"I'm leaving you in charge with Alicia. I need you to take care of things here."

"Of course."

"Good. I appreciate it. Take care of our people. We ought to be back tomorrow morning. We're goin' further out."

"I think we'll manage just fine without you."

He chuckled. "That's why you're in charge til we get back." He walked off.

She exhaled and leaned against the tree, hands on her head, feeling a rush of emotions. She took a deep breath. "I'm Carol Peletier. Carol Peletier." She gripped her knees and sucked in air as her words sunk in. It's going to be okay. It's all going to be okay. "Carol Peletier." She looked at the wooden rose on her wrist._ Meredith Dixon_.

Who the hell was she?


	6. Whistle This Way

Carol climbed over the barb wire and looked over the herbs. She crouched down and picked a few that she believed were thyme. She remembered cooking with it a lot when she was married to Ed. Ugh. That was the last memory she wanted to have in her head.

"Sage is better."

She pulled out her gun without looking at him. "I knew you followed me." She set the herbs in her pocket and stood up. "Get out of here before I'm forced to use this."

"You ain't gonna shoot me." He stepped out of the shadows.

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep this camp safe," she replied as the tip of her gun touched his chest. "I can't risk anyone coming back here and robbing us, you understand?"

He held his arms out. "That's the second time you pointed at thing at me, you gonna pull the trigger or what?"

"I'm not Andrea." She put the gun back in her holster. "Go home."

"Y'all got an open fence." He pointed to it. "Walkers can get in."

"Good to know. Go." She climbed back over the barb wire and headed over to Lilly. She gave her the thyme then picked up her bottle of water and drank from it. She saw Daryl was over the wire and nearly chocked on water. She nonchalantly walked over to him and pushed him into her tent as Alicia began to turn around. She forced him down, he barely had time to remove his crossbow, and she ended up straddling him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she hissed.

"Instinct."

"What the hell does that mean? God, you're pissing me off, Daryl. I told you not to follow me, and you did. I told you to leave, and you won't. Do you have a death wish? They will kill you. If anything happens to you..." she dropped off and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. "I need you alive. I need you to protect Lizzie and Mika."

"Lizzie and Mika are protected."

"They are always in danger. From illness, from walkers, from people, and I need you to keep them safe. It's what you do—protect people. You are one of the main people in that group, and you're too stubborn to realize that you are. I know you have your wounds—we all do—but you need to step up. You would be a great leader—"

"I don't want to be leader," he informed her. "That's Rick's job."

She groaned and dropped her head on his chest, tightly gripping his leather jacket. She was so frustrated. "Okay." She lifted her head. "Do what you what—back—at—your—own—camp!"

"You ain't the boss of me."

"Daryl—" She saw Alicia approaching her tent, talking and looking at Jean, and she knew it was about Carol relieving Tara from watch. Alicia knew everyone in camp, and Daryl didn't look like anyone in camp. She knew there were two only ways Alicia would leave her be are if...she was a walker and Alicia blew her brains out. Or if she was...having sex. There was no way she and Daryl would do that to get out of him being in camp and she wasn't getting bitten for his safety, but she had to do something or he was dead.

She grabbed the blanket from her bed and threw it over her shoulders to cover them...but it wasn't long enough to cover them completely. Daryl was a few inches taller than her, and his feet were hanging out of her tent. Alicia was too close for Daryl to get out of the tent and move behind it. Carol felt embarrassed even telling him what he had to do. "Move your hips."

"What?" He wasn't sure what she was doing with the blank. He could feel just how tense she was, but he didn't know why. What did she see? Was someone coming?

"Move your hips like you're having sex. You have had sex before, right?" She was teasing him, and she bit back laughter at his glare. She lifted herself up using his chest, and it was very...awkward. No, it was the most awkward, unquiet..._thing_ she had ever done in her entire life. Honestly, death would be more merciful right now. Who in the hell said when the walker apocalypse came that she would not only not have sex, but have to fake sex with a man she considered to be her best friend? Honestly? She was going to kill him when this was over, because it was his fault for being such a damn good tracker and person.

Between the boiling summer heat and the heat of embarrassment, Daryl was so sure his face was blood red. He wasn't the most experienced man in the world, and it'd been years since he'd had any physical contact with a woman like this, and it was entirely embarrassed. Part of him wished he hadn't followed her into her camp, but another part of him...a part that was always shoved into the deepest part of him that he locked away was...glad? Yes, glad. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing as hell at first, but as that melted away—very slowly melted away—it was...er, oddly...fine. He found it was easier if he closed his eyes, like Carol was doing, but...he got too relaxed, and with the scent of Carol's skin and the soft groans she was making for effect...he was turned on. His eyes snapped open, and he tried to calm down, but Carol really wasn't helping him. He groaned low in his throat.

"Oh!" Alicia turned and walked off with Jean, flushing.

She stopped instantly and looked over. "Huh. Okay, you gotta go."

"Easy for you to say," he muttered.

She laughed nervously and moved up on his stomach. Great, now it's even more awkward. Well, all that was left was lesbianism. That would probably never happen, especially with how her body was reacting to Daryl's reaction to her body. "Daryl?"

"See where my crossbow landed?" He sat up on his elbows.

"Right over here." She leaned over and pulled it out from under her jumbled sleeping bag. "Are you okay to back to the prison?"

"I'm just fine," he muttered, not looking at her.

"I meant supplies. Do you have any water? Food?"

"Yeah, it's all waitin' in my limo with Ernesto."

"Daryl, you aren't helping, and you aren't funny." She moved off his lap and grabbed the spare bottle of water. "Wait here, and I mean it." She left the tent and got her food from Lilly, trying to avoid the look Alicia and Jean were giving her. She returned to her tent and sat down beside him. "Take half."

"No. That's all you got. I'll be fine."

"That wasn't a question."

"Damn, woman, how bossy did you get?" He took half of it and ate it.

"Very." She sat back. "People change over the course of five months."

"They do." He chewed the slightly tough meat that he suspected was raccoon. "Workin' on your aim?"

"Yeah. My friend taught me."

"Friend? The ginger?"

"His name is Bobby."

"Ooh, Bobby." He rolled his eyes, and she licked the seasoning off her fingers. He spotted the Cherokee rose. "He make that?"

"Yes, he did." She set the plate beside her and peered over. "Damn it." The others had gotten their food after and were all gathered around, some facing her tent. They would notice if they exited. "Great, just great. This is all your fault." She zipped it shut so they couldn't see his face.

"Me? You're the one who threw me in here. Didn't ask for it."

"You're the one who doesn't listen."

"Ain't you claustrophobic?"

"A little, but I can survive. There's mesh for a disgustingly hot breeze." She removed her boots and set her feet on her sleeping bag. "So, how are Maggie and Glenn? Still married?"

"Almost a year now."

"How's Judy?"

"A kid. Why you wanna know?"

"We need something to talk about." She pulled her legs to her chest. "So, how's Tyreese? Did he handle the news well?"

"Don't know. He and Michonne worked on the fences. I was pissed, didn't stay long."

She lifted her head up. "You were?"

"Yeah, I was." He met her eyes. "You ain't that dumb."

"I—" She averted her eyes. It was so much easier to make him the bad guy and for her to not care about him or anyone at the prison, but she did care. She cared so much, and she worried every day. If Daryl knew how she really felt, he would drag her back, and there was no incarceration for her. She decided to use that as a way to get him angry, to get him to stay away. "You went after Merle—Merle!—and not me. Don't sit there and tell me how angry you were. It's all talk."

"He's my brother. What else was I supposed to do? Leave him? Again?"

"Then what am I to you? A stranger? Daryl, I've known you since the start of the apocalypse, and I've never given you any reason to not trust me. Merle has given everyone a thousand different reason not to trust him!"

"You killed two of our own," he hissed softly.

"Your own," she shot back bitterly. "I am not one of your own, and I never intend to be again."

He stared at how cold she'd become. He frowned. "What'd they do to you?"

She sighed. "You should go now. The coast is clear."

"I ain't goin'." He moved closer to her. "What happened to you on the road?"

"Nothing happened to me. Just go away, Daryl. I have important things to do, and you're only screwing over both of our camps by staying."

"You deaf? I ain't goin', so stop tryin' push me away."

"Fine, stay, be my guest." She tried to move back, but there was no more back. "I guess with all this extra time on my hands, I can learn to knit."

"Knit me a sweater?"

"No."

His lips pulled up in a half-smile. "I won't make you better bracelet neither."

"I like Bobby's. I don't need nor have room for another one."

"You gotta another wrist."

"That's gaudy." She peered out the mesh. "They're going into their tents." She put her boots back on and moved onto knees. "You know, moving would be a great advantage to both of us."

"Move where? I ain't got no room."

She reached over and unzipped the tent, climbing. "You'll have to crawl."

"Figures."

They managed to not get caught, Carol handed him the extra bottle of water, and Daryl shouldered his crossbow. She glanced back and saw that no one was looking for her. So far so good.

"Be careful, Daryl."

He nodded and turned then stopped. "Same time, same place?"

"Sure." She climbed back over the fence and finally relieved Tara, who got a funny smile on her face as she left. The whole camp probably knows. God, it's like high school all over again. She shook her head and wondered where Bobby was. He was always lingering behind her. Where was he now? She could use the company.


	7. Underneath The Oak Tree

_"Are you serious?" Lilly sounded so surprise. "Carol? I can't believe it."_

_ "All women need someone to scratch their itch," Tara replied. "I prefer mine to be another woman, but that's a different matter."_

_ Lilly smacked her and gestured to Meghan._

_ "Like she listens to me anyway." Tara snickered. "Hey, Bob, you got competition."_

_ He glared over the worn book he was head. Tara always liked to tease him about his relationship with Carol. It wasn't what she thought... "Are you drunk again?"_

_ She held her hands up. "Just 'cause your woman isn't yours doesn't mean you take it out on me." She hopped up. "I'm gonna take watch since Carol's busy." She walked by Bobby and bent down. "Getting it on." She scampered off as he got pissed, snorting laughter._

_ Lilly shook her head. "Don't ever be like Aunt Tara, okay, honey?"_

_ Meghan looked up from her game of chess. "Okay."_

_ Alicia made her move. "Checkmate. And personally, I think it's good some of us still have a sense of humor."_

_ "Not that kind of humor," Lilly replied._

_ Meghan moved the pieces back into the place. "One more game?"_

_ "Sure."_

– – –

Michonne, Maggie and Sasha took out the walkers that got through as Glenn, Bob, Rick and Tyreese dug a pit for the walkers to fall in to. Beth and Carl drew their attention over to the far gate with a few drops of blood and clanging pans, but it only worked so far.

They dug was quickly as they could, they needed a five or six feet deep pit, and with all of Glenn's digging skills, he was able to get them there faster. Not a lot faster, but still faster. They had one already dug, and most of the walkers had filled it, so it made the women's job easier. It still took a long while to dig it out.

Rick was furious with Daryl. Not only had he disappeared, but he neglected to tell anyone where in the hell was he going. Someone should've gone with him. He should have told someone where to look to find him if he got bit or killed. Daryl was making a bad habit of disappearing when they needed him. Rick hoped when he got back, he wouldn't live again. He was already on Daryl's bad side, so it didn't matter if Rick forced him to stay in the cell block or not. He doubted Daryl would stay in the cell block, even if he forced him to. He wanted to know what the hell was going on with Daryl.

– – –

Carol rushed inside, Daryl jumped out of his seat, and she shoved him onto the ground. He groaned, and she kept her head down on his chest as she panted. He waited a moment, but nothing happened. He began to wonder how many times she was going to do this to him. Was it for fun now?

"Do you like gettin' me on my back or what?"

"Shh." She listened.

Headlights crossed the wall beside them, Daryl reached up and grabbed his crossbow, just in case, and Carol stilled as voices came. They weren't speaking English, but one of them was an American. She could tell by the lack of flow in his words.

They didn't come inside, just had a conversation then left. Carol waited for a long time before getting up. Daryl rolled over onto his knees and checked outside with her. They didn't leave anyone behind, and they were gone as quickly as they came.

She relaxed and sat down on the floor just inside the door, her knees upraised, hands in her hair.

"You're bleedin'." He crouched down and tugged the cloth of her pants back. "Looks like a scratch."

"It is." She saw the fear dancing in his eyes. "Barb wire hurts. I blame you. Had you not brought up the broken part of the gate a while, I wouldn't have jinxed myself and sliced my leg open."

"It's just from the wire?"

"No, a walker scratched me, and I'm lying so I can eat you."

"That ain't funny." He closed the door and went to the kitchen. "Got some rags in here." He sat down beside her and dabbed a bit of water on the rag before wiping the blood off. She winced a little. "It hurts, huh?"

"No, it's like kitten licks, really." She sighed. "This is getting old, Daryl."

"What is?"

She turned her head to look at him. "It's been two months since you came to my camp, and I really enjoy coming out there to talk to you, keeping in touch with the girls and everyone at the prison, but we're just holding each other bac—Ow!" She cried out as he dug the rag into her leg.

"Might be infect. Shame." He hid a smile.

"I just feel like we're putting each other in danger. I don't want that. I can't go back to the prison, and you can't leave the prison, so..."

"Flesh-colored or white?" Daryl asked.

"What?"

"Bandage. White ones hurt less when you rip 'em off."

"Flesh-colored. They last longer. Are you even listening to me?"

"Nope." He smoothed the bandage down. "You ain't gettin' rid of me, and I thought we walked 'bout you sayin' this shit."

"We did, but I was hoping you'd come around. Guess not." She stood up. "All right. How's Beth? I haven't seen her in a long time."

"Been busy with Rick and Lil Ass Kicker."

She nodded. "How are Lizzie and Mika? Good?"

"...yeah."

"That's good. I wish I could see them." She crossed her arms. "Think I can sneak over there without Rick tryin' to shoot me?"

"Maybe."

She sighed and pushed it away as she gazed outside. "Let's go on a walk. It's a nice day." She opened the front door and padded down the stairs. "C'mon."

He caught up to her as she made her way across the yard. He smiled a bit as she stretched out her arms, enjoying the cool fall air, and he took that moment to enjoy the way her pants hung around her hips. There was something about the way she moved, when her many layers weren't covering the curves any man would love to appreciate, that made him think about them being...more. He wasn't sure. Carol was a verbal tease, and he was pretty sure that little ginger had feelings for her. He didn't tell her, but he checked in on her from time to time, and that damn ginger clung to her side like a damn leech. It made him so...annoyed. He felt like Carol was his—not his woman, not something he owned—just his. He felt like he was the only one who could be that close to her. He tried not to let his emotions get the better of him, because it was all in his head. Or so he hoped.

Carol walked ahead of them, almost rushing, and she heard Daryl moving quickly to catch up. She looked behind her, he eyed her, and she took off. He automatically followed her. He never remembered her running this fast, but he was still faster. He fell into step with her, and they ran until she finally stopped in the middle of a field. There was a river to the left and some trees by it. She dropped down under the shade of the tree, though the yellowing leaves were few.

"Don't get in the water." She shielded her eyes with her hand from the sun. "Walker city down there."

"Why'd you lead me here?" He dropped beside her, catching his breath, sitting so close their shoulders knocked together when he sat.

"Because I need away from the scent of rotting flesh and that stuffy house." She rubbed her arms and inhaled deeply. "I miss the scent of freshly mowed grass." She pulled her legs to her chest. "I miss the farm."

He squinted at her.

She rested her head on her knees. "I can't remember a place where we didn't lose people. That first camp with the Morales and everyone, the CDC, the farm, the prison, my camp." She shook her head. "It's all soiled, isn't it?"

"Don't know 'bout that."

"Buried so many people." She tried to keep the tears away, but somehow...in this place with Daryl, it all came back to her. "We both lost the most important person to us in the worst way."

He didn't say anything.

"I had a...dream last night." She met his eyes. "You all were at the prison, and Phillip came with cars and weapons that outnumbered you again, and he killed someone. I don't remember who, but you all were scattered and—and lost and—"

"Hey, hey, hey." He tentatively set a hand on hers. "It was just a dream. Don't mean nothin'."

She sniffed. "But it does." She wiggling her fingers through his, and he tensed. "It means you and the others need an escape plan. If something happens, if someone threatens you and you can't win, you need a plan. Somewhere to meet up, like the highway after the farm was lost."

"He's comin', ain't he?"

"I don't know." She released his hand. "He's been on edge lately, and I can never get him alone." Meghan was so clingy to him. They'd all grown so close these past few months, but all Carol saw in him was the bastard that killed Andrea and Merle and God knows who else. It was getting under her skin to live with a snake in the nest. She would put an end to him. She had to. If he was planning an attack on the prison, she had to stop him before he did. Judith was there and her girls and Rick's people. She would never put them in harm's way, especially not the Governor's harmful way. She would die before that happened.

"You know somethin'," he pressed. "What ain't you tellin' me? Is he comin'?"

"No."

"Is that why you dragged me out here? So I wouldn't be there when he came?" He shot up, and Carol grabbed his hand. "Lemme go!"

"You're misunderstanding." She jerked him down, and he hadn't expected her to use such strength, because he fell right beside her, face first into the grass. "Oops."

He sat up on his knees and glared. "Oops? Man, I'm gonna—" He grabbed a handful of leaves and chucked them at her.

"What harm's done? You're never clean." She sat up on her knees.

"Try to be." He wiped his face off, and when he moved his hand, her face was right there. His neck burned, and it started upward. She reached out and touched his brow, it stung so he must've had cut there. Her skin was so warm though, and he didn't mind the slight stinging.

"I think you'll live." She started to sit back when he grasped her hand, and the joking left her eyes.

"Don't." He leaned over and kissed her. Two years with this woman and he could no longer contain himself. She overwhelmed him with scent, sound and sight, and he wanted even. He wanted to overwhelm _her_ for once. She had no idea the affect she had on him, but he was going to make sure she didn't forget it.

It was like a teenager's first kiss, a momentary brushing of lips, but only for a moment. He didn't give her a chance to pull back. He shifted and grasped the back of her neck gently, bringing her face closer to his, kissing her deeply.

Daryl was surprised when she gripped his shoulders and climbed onto his lap, her hand caressing his cheek as she opened her mouth to his. Her soft tongue glided over his, he groaned and gripped the cloth at her hips, pulling her closer, wanting to feel her body aligned with his.

"Daryl." Her breathy, desire-laced moan of his name—just his name—made the blood in his body rush downward, and there wasn't enough. There wasn't enough skin, there wasn't enough room, and there wasn't enough time. They were both breathing heavily, bodies burning, aching for more as their lips met for another passionate kiss.

Her hands grasped at the strands of hair at the nape of his neck, her thighs around his hips, her body moving closer to him, seeking his touch. He groaned as she shifted, she murmured an apology, moving one hand from her his hand down his chest slowly, causing his skin to prickle with goose bumps. She reached down and undid his pants, he leaned forward so that they fell over, and Carol was underneath him.

It wasn't romance, it wasn't love, it wasn't the beginning of a relationship—it just was want. Completely unadulterated lust, dark need and hungry. They both breathing heavily as the afternoon sun revealed their activities to anyone in the nearby area, but they didn't care. It was almost like they couldn't stop, and they didn't want to.

He grasped her hands from the back of his neck and pinned them down into the warm grass, she looked up at him with tantalizing ocean blue eyes, and he kissed her hard. He slid his arms down her small body and her legs locked around his waist, and he grasped at the shirts she wore. They both wore layers, and neither of them had the patience to deal with them.

He broke the kiss to unstrap her boots, and he tossed them behind him, and together they unbuckled her belt. He removed them and seized her mouth once more, kissing her hungrily, savoring the taste of her mouth. Every fiber of his body was awakened by her touch, and he wanted to bury himself inside of her now.

And as if sensing his need, she removed his belt and they both fumbled with his jeans. She managed to free the metal button from the cloth and the zipper didn't matter. Leaning down, he grasped her panties and tugged them off before removing his own boxers. He grasped the back of her neck in his hand, bringing her mouth up to his, and she slid her fingers into his shaggy hair, running her tongue along his bottom lip. And they gave into their bodily desires.

Carol felt every thrust throughout her body, even her fingertips, and her harsh breathing mangled with his as he kissed her over and over, moving inside of her. It wasn't at all like she had expected. She always figured Daryl as an inexperienced, awkward man, but this was the most confidence she'd ever known him to have. He was more proficient that any man she had ever been with, which wasn't a large number. He made her body ache in a way she'd only heard about or read about and God did he feel...

He felt so...much inside her. He filled her in a way that was beyond their bodies, and it made the experience more meaningful that they had intended it to be. It wasn't lost on either of them nor was it regretted by either of them.

– – –

The cool night air below over the water as it rushed downward, it wasn't as calming as it sounded, because all that she could see were walkers coming out of it like some scene in a lame-ass movie. She sat up and turned the small, battery-operated music player off. She sighed and found Rick in the doorway to her cell.

"Still can't sleep?"

"Not even a little bit." She moved over, and he sat beside her. "All I can see are walkers, all I hear are walkers." She ran her hands through her hair. "All I feel are their grabby fingers diggin' into some poor innocent, and that smell—"

"Beth, stop it. You aren't making yourself any better."

She sucked in a deep breath. "Is Judy up? Is that why you're up?"

"I waitin' for Daryl. He hasn't been here all day." He wasn't worried. Daryl could handle a few walkers, and he could handle people as well. He just wished he could come back soon. What's out there that's more important than protecting this group? Rick almost thought he found—but no. There was no chance of that. Daryl went out to...hunt or find himself or do other Dixon thing. He liked his space, and Rick could respect that, but not at the cost of their people. If Daryl isn't back by morning, it's assumed he moved on or died. He doubted both options.

"Daryl, huh?" She stood up and set the music player on the nightstand. "He's gotten so crazed since Carol." She faced him. "You notice that?"

"Yeah." Rick's hand twitched. "He doesn't trust me, sure as hell doesn't approve of my decisions."

"Can you blame him?" She put her hands in her back pockets, and he eyed her. "I think it wasn't about Carol. It was never about Carol. It was about how you made a choice and didn't even bother to tell nobody. Glenn, Sasha, Hershel, Daryl and Carol were the ones who make the decisions. I know you were tryin' to protect her and us, but...it shoulda gone through them. Now you got three of 'em against you. You needa sort it all out, Rick, and soon. The wind won't always blow in your favor."

He rose off the bed. "If you wanna sleep, keep thinkin' 'bout." He walked out.

She picked up a pen and her notebook. She filled out a page before her vision went blurry and she passed out.

Rick peered into Beth's cell and picked up her diary from underneath her head and picked the pen up off the floor. He covered her up. He took the music player and went outside. He could hear the walkers, smell them as well, and he shook his head. He shoulda never let her go on that run.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and walked to the tower. He climbed up to the top and stepped outside, leaning against the railing. He put the earbuds in and pushed play as he watched for Daryl, the cool night air tugging at this thin shirt. She got one thing right. He needed to sort it out. He didn't know where to begin though. Maybe she could with that.

The world goes to shit, and the women lose themselves along the way, but they get wise too. They get wise, the children get strong, and the men provide. That's how it goes. That's how it always goes. What was he proving now? And was it really such a high priority?


	8. The Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

"Do you ever shut up?" Carol asked.

"Seven months and you haven't learned a thing," Lilly teased.

Bobby blushed a bit. "Sorry. I—got excited and I tend to babble."

"I was kidding." She reached for another card and paused as their people began to gather, she and Lilly exchanged looks then they joined the others. Another leader had fallen—Pete. Carol knew it wasn't a supply run gone south. It was _him_. She knew it was him after Shumpert and Martinez mysteriously wound up in the pits. She had no doubts about this, and she was going to confront him. She wouldn't let him get away with this. They were good men, Martinez and Pete. She wouldn't let them die because of his bastard's master plan that would no doubt involve the prison. She had to warn Daryl, and they had to be prepared.

"You okay?" She eyed Bobby as he paled.

"I—I need to be alone."

"You sure?" She set a hand on his arm comfortingly. Bobby and Pete were like brothers. They were best friends from childhood, though Bobby was younger. She didn't want to imagine what he was going through, but she was there if he needed her.

"Yeah." He walked off toward his tent.

"Meredith." Phillip was beside her now.

"Brian." She turned on her heel and walked off.

"That's not very ladylike." He caught up to her and cut her off. "We need to talk."

"Talk?" She crossed her arms. "Okay, let's talk. How'd you do it? Got them drunk? Killed one and let it devour the other? You wanna talk, let's talk."

He laughed humorlessly. "You and I are goin' on a run tomorrow. We need medicine for the boy. You're with him, and you're the only one with medical experience."

"Lilly."

"I need her here. I can trust her to be here. We'll go at tomorrow day break, so I suggest you get your sleep." He walked off.

"Who died and made him leader?" Bobby asked, looking up from where he sat on the ground, half in his tent, half out.

"Don't think about that too much."

He wiped his nose. "Caesar was a good guy. He didn't deserve to die like that. Nobody deserves to die like that. Pete was the best guy, always looked out for us." He ran his fingers through his hair and rocked himself.

She held her hand down to him. "Come with me."

He looked up at her and took her hand, standing. She led him out of the camp, Alicia gave her a nod as they left, and they walked toward the river where Carol and Daryl had done a hell of a lot more than talk, and they sat down by the water as Bobby talked about all that Pete and Caesar had done for him. Carol held his hand for support, watching him try to work out what had happened, and she wanted to tell him about the Governor, but she didn't want to put him in harm's way. He meant a lot to her.

"I just wish that—Hell, I don't even know. It wasn't right."

"It never is." She gazed out at the water. "It's hard to be in this world and have anything be right."

"Ain't that the truth." He released her hand and leaned back, closing his eyes as his back touched the ground. "Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Sure."

"Where you been all this week?" He dropped his hand over his eyes to make shade. "You keep watch, eat and bail for hours. Where you goin'? Lookin' for someplace to go to?"

"I'm not going anymore." She turned her head and found him watching her, like always. "What? Don't believe me?"

"Goin' where no more? You always come back so late. I never noticed, but with Mitch keepin' watch lately, I noticed you ain't hardly in your tent in the morning."

"I—Being so exposed in the woods isn't save. I'm trying to find somewhere for us to go." It wasn't a lie. So many times she and Daryl had talked about finding a place just in case her camp got overrun, just in case the prison fell. Nothing lasts forever, and weather will break any amount of steel, and they don't have the equipment to keep it sturdy. Too many times had their camp fallen, and they had to run. They were remedying that.

"Us?" He sat up. "Or—" He bit back. No. It wouldn't be right. He couldn't let her know. He couldn't. "Meghan and Lilly and them?"

"And you." She knocked her shoulder with his. "I won't leave you behind."

"I know." He reached over and gripped her hand. "You ever gonna tell me 'bout this?"

She looked at the rose on her wrist. She'd let it slip a while ago that her name wasn't Meredith. She didn't mean to, but a few wine coolers will do that to anyone. She'd told them Meredith was her middle name, and they only ones who knew were Tara and Lilly and Bobby, probably Meghan and Alicia too since they live together. They all called her Carol, because she insisted they call her Meredith. It was to annoy her more than anything. And as the days went by and she saw Daryl, her persona was fading. She was losing track of the line where Carol stopped and Meredith started. She wasn't sure how long until it all was revealed and she had to leave.

"Sorry, didn't mean to stress you out."

"You didn't." She smiled a bit. "I'm just thinking."

"It's prettier."

"Hmm?"

"Carol. Meredith seems a bit harsh, and it didn't ever suit you." He was blushing, embarrassed by the look she gave him. "Carol's nice."

"I guess." She stood up and turned away from him, wiping the grass off her pants. "Can't stay out here all day."

"Wish we could. It's nice." He hopped up. "You goin' again tonight?"

"Yes, I am."

"I can join you if you needa hand. I'm good with trackin' and findin' shelter. I ain't gotta keep watch neither, so I can come."

"No, but thank you."

"You don't gotta shut me out, Carol."

"Bobby, I appreciate you trying to help, but I'd rather do this on my own. It's important."

"I know. That's why I wanna help. Carol, please—"

"Please, just stop calling me Carol!" she snapped. "If I wanted you to call me Carol, I would say call me Carol, but I didn't. I would rather be addressed by my middle name. Is that so hard to understand, Bobby? I don't call you Robert or Bob or Robby, so, please do not call me Carol! It's Meredith."

He grasped the back of her neck and kissed her, causing Carol to tense up all over. _What the hell?_

– – –

_ It was going so smoothly. It was Beth's first run, Maggie and Glenn and Michonne were away, busy with a run of their own, and Beth was sent with Tommy, Caleb B. Molly—a little kid who had snuck out after her sister Kim—and Kim to find any food supplies in the remains of the Big Spot! Daryl was off hunting for food, Michonne and Rick manned the prison, and it was important that find something. All of the walkers were drawn out by the music that continued to play. Some car batteries._

_ It wasn't until Beth, Molly and Kim were taking the last of the batteries that it went south. Caleb shot three times, but by the time Beth and Kim reached him, he was being picked alive by a group of walkers. They wouldn't have been noticed if she hadn't whimpered and caught their attention. Beth pushed her to run, to find Tommy, and when they did, it only got harder to escape. The bullets had brought even more walkers inside, they were cutting them off at every turn, and when Beth ran ahead toward the floral department to see if that exit was reachable more just pooled out. She ran into Tommy and they fell over._

_ "Get up." She stood up. "Tommy, get up! Kim? Molly?"_

_ "Here." They rounded the corner. "We gotta go."_

_ They got Tommy to his feet, Beth rushed ahead with two of their bags over her shoulders and a backpack. She would ache in the morning, but they would have supplies. That was all that mattered. She spotted an exit, dropped the bags just outside and went back to get them, and the walkers were pushing against the doors._

_ "Come on!" She took off running, and they followed, but Tommy had injured his ankle, and fell over._

_ "Tom!" Kim dropped to her knees._

_ "Go, just go." He pushed on her shoulders. "I'm slowing you down, and I don't want that. I'll slow them down instead. Go."_

_ Kim shook her head, starting to cry._

_ "We don't got time for this!" Beth informed them. "Tom, get up! The exit is right—"_

_ A walker broke through the roof and splattered all over the floor beside Tom, Kim screamed, and the remaining roof began to shake. Beth grabbed Molly to help her out when walkers fell in front hole in the roof, and they were coming in from down the hall._

_ Everything happened in slow motion and white noise rang in her eyes. Kim screamed at Beth to get Molly out of there, Beth thought she was, thought she had a grip on the little girl, but it happened like a car accident. First the brakes squeal—Kim's screaming—then the car jolts—Molly got Kim's gun and shot poorly at the walkers that came in from the other room and from the roof, nearly shooting Beth in the forearm—and there's the collision—the walkers devoured Molly's face, dragging her to the floor. Kim went ballistic and lunged at them, trying to kill them with her knife, but there were too many, and they swarmed over her and Tommy likes ants. Flesh ripped as easily as wet tissue paper, blood filled the air, and the screams were amplified—booming into Beth's ears._

_ Get out of there. It was her father's voice. Bethy, get out of there! Now!_

_ Her body reacted as the walkers stumbled over each other to fest, to try to get Beth as dessert. She grabbed the bags and ran, the wind whipped at her ears, but the white noise filled her brain. She just kept running._

_ But once the noise had stopped, Beth stopped. She dropped the bags in the middle of the road, it was vacant, but she heard screaming._

_ BETH! It sounded like it was stretched out. BEEEEEETTTTTHHHH!_

_ She saw the bodies being torn into, white flesh gone red, happy smiles replaced with bloody smiles, laughter turned to screams. It sounded like a mop, a big wet thud. That's what it sounded like when the walkers ripped apart Molly's chest, ripping the clothes or eating them, she wasn't sure. But that sound just echoed all around her, and she heard Patricia screaming in pain as they dragged her out of Beth's arms._

_ No... She covered her ears. No! She tried to shake it off, but the blood was everywhere. She'd never seen so many people being torn into at once. It was like a buffet for the homeless or when Jimmy and Shawn would come in from playing ball and just tear into the food Ma made. Chewy yet tough flesh, hardened fingernails scrapping along their mouths, clumps of hair tangling in their teeth, and warm juices rushing down their throat into their decomposing bodies._

_ She fell to her knees and threw up, her name echoing in her ears. Stop it. Please, stop it. She shook her head._

_ She saw Shawn and Ma, having that same eternal hungry, and she curled into a ball. That could have happened to Patricia, to Otis. They might not have eaten them completely up. They might of turned. Patricia would be missing chucks of neck and pieces of her arms and legs. She might not even have legs. She might be crawling around like the walker Rick killed before he headed off to find his wife and son. She could be just a head. As long as the brain was intact, they would come back._

_ Suddenly that didn't matter anymore. She saw the farm, the sun shining down on it, flowers blooming, her parents on the porch, Shawn and Maggie playing a game of cards, and Jimmy waving her over. She could smell the flowers, feel the heat of the sun, hear Ma's laughter, Daddy's deep chuckle. She walked slowly at, first, not sure her eyes were right, but they were._

_ Beth?_

_ The image jerked, and she saw darkness spreading across the farm and storm clouds formed in the sky. No, please, don't! A thunderbolt shot down from the sky and her family—her home—was...gone, as if it never existed._

_ Beth?_

_ She pulled her gun out and aimed at the sky._

_ "Beth!" Daryl grabbed the young girl, the gun fell to the ground, and she passed out. "Beth?" He eased her down to the ground and grabbed a bottle of water, lightly sprinkling it on her face. Her eyelids fluttered, and she shivered. "You all right?"_

_ "Daryl?" She was scared to open her eyes._

_ "What're you doin'?"_

_ "Daryl." She began to sob and buried her face in his chest. "Please, be real, be here."_

_ "I am real." He pushed her back and held her at arms length. "Beth, open your eyes."_

_ "No. I don't want to see."_

_ "Ty." Daryl gestured to the bags behind him and picked her up, placing her in the backseat of the car. He helped Ty with the bags, stopping as he saw Beth rocking herself, crying into her knees, squeezing her eyes shut. He could hear her murmuring, "It's not real... It's not real... It's all not real."_


	9. Together

Beth stood in the yard, eyes narrowed at the bright sun, watching the walkers from a safe distance. Every day, she would get a little bit closer to them, and every day, she would leave her fantasies quicker. It was only a matter of time before they stopped altogether. She just had to keep on doing what needed to be done. She had to.

"Don't push yourself." Sasha set a hand on her shoulder. "Just keep breathing."

Beth smiled. "I'm all right. I needed some air." She met her eyes. "You seem shaken."

"Just...had a bad dream. Who doesn't have nightmares? 'Cause I'd like to meet 'em."

"And do what?"

"Give 'em nightmares. It ain't fair for only us to be having them." Beth laughed, and Sasha shook her head. "I'm kidding. Whoever doesn't have nightmares...is one lucky bastard, but I don't envy them."

"I don't envy nobody these days. It ain't worth it."

Rick and Carl walked by, Rick held Judith in his arms, talking to Carl, laughing, and Beth smiled at the sight of them. Rick had stopped worry when Daryl returned last night with a crap load of supplies. Daryl was either in his cell. He had been all day. It was so strange, because he hated being in there. Beth knew he didn't want to talk, so she left him be. He was probably planning on meeting Carol for a little roll in the hay. She wanted so to tease him about that, but he had no idea she knew about them having sex. It took her a while to figure it out. He always wore this expression, kind of half-smiling, lost in thought, and she thought it was that Carol was possibly coming back, but nope. She was coming, but not back.

"What are you smiling at?" Sasha asked, almost creeped out.

"Me? Nothin'! I—I just remember somethin' funny. Heh heh. I'm gonna go help Jeanette with supper. The growls are gettin' to me." She turned on her heel and went inside. She ran right into Daryl, nearly toppling over. "Sorry." She met his eyes, they were smoldering, and she frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I gotta get some air."

"That's not get-some-air face, that's kick-someone's-ass face. What's goin' on? Is it," she lowered her voice, "her?"

"It ain't your business, Beth." He walked by her.

"Ain't my business?" She went after him. "Oh, hell no, Daryl." She pushed him into the tower, he let her, and she closed the door. "I've helped Carol since I found her, and I've covered for your ass countless times, and I love you both very much, so don't you tell me "It ain't my business", because it is. You and Carol are part of my family, and I won't let you shut me out."

"Damn, don't piss you off," he muttered.

"Don't." She crossed her arms. "Now, what's on your mind?"

"Somethin' I gotta deal with. Tell Rick the usual."

"I'm runnin' out of distractions." She said when he opened the door. "What should I say?"

"I don't know." He paused in the doorway. "Make somethin' up."

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"I do appreciate you doin' this, Beth."

"I know you do." She heard him leave. And while he goes off to have sex, she's stuck here trying to make sure Rick doesn't notice the tall, dark redneck isn't around. Sooner or later, she would have to freak Rick out with something that would be enough to get him off Daryl's back, but all she could think of were indigestion and vomiting. That wouldn't work, and he can only go on so many runs.

She placed her hands to her face and groaned. She hoped it wasn't more trouble than it was worth.

––

"You're exhausted. This is exhaustion talking." Michonne's eyes flickered to his. "I'm looking for Daryl. You seen him?"

"No." Tyreese moved out of her way. "Why do you need Daryl?"

"I just do." She left the cell block and head a loud thud. She paused and looked over her shoulder. Tyreese was gone. She stepped back and found him face down on the ground. She walked over to him and lowered herself down on her knees. "See, I told you it was exhaustion." She rolled him over and smacked his face. "Ty, wake up."

He muttered something incoherently.

"Great." She stood up and left the cell block. She returned with Rick, and together they hauled Ty to his feet, taking him to his cell to get some sleep. With Daryl being wherever he was, Ty was taking over watches that were both his and Daryl's and everyone else's. Michonne's found him on her watch, and they got into an argument about who should be on watch, and she eventually just went to her part of the yard and stayed there. She didn't stick around for the apology she knew he would have.

"I'll get Hershel to look him over, just in case."

She nodded.

"Stay with him. Who knows, he might wake up." Rick went to find Hershel.

She sat down on the bench across from him and crossed her arms, leaning back, her eyes outside the cell. She saw Beth with Judith, Lizzie was sitting on the steps, working on Tom Sawyer for the fifth or sixth time. Carl was below her, cleaning his gun, wanting something else to do, no doubt, and Sasha and Bob were talking as they carried the supplies Daryl brought out to the bus. Michonne exhaled. Daryl was right: hang around them long enough, stuff sticks.

Tyreese murmured something, and she looked over at him. He was a fool—fixating on who killed Karen and David and acting out violently when anyone tried to tell him how it was, not getting out of the car sooner, not letting the walker go. He'd changed over the past few months, but he still needed backbone. He was like a big bear, but not one with any bite. It would cost him in the long run.

Hershel and Rick returned, Hershel looked him over and Beth came over and started talking to Rick, asking him about who was on watch, and if maybe she could do it. They all stopped and stared at her, she held Judith close and frowned.

Rick grasped her elbow gently and pulled her out of Tyreese's cell. "Look, Beth, I know you wanna help with patrol and all, but that ain't a good idea."

"I'm not broken," she snapped. "I have bad dreams and stay up late, so I might as well make use of it. You look more exhausted than me, so don't talk. I want to help, and babysittin' Judy is great, but Lizzie could that or one of the other girls. I'm sick of only being useful to group when it comes to a shootout."

His brow twitched. "It's up to your doctor."

She smiled. "I'll go ask her." She handed Judith to him. "She just ate, so you oughta burp her." She set the burping towel over his shoulder and went to find Sasha.

He smiled at Judy. "One day, you'll understand just how crazy your family is. Til then...keep bein' cute, it might spare you."

– – –

She stared at the fire before her, Lilly passed out the last of the rations, worrying when Carol didn't take hers. She put it in Carol's tent, hidden by her sleeping bag otherwise someone would take it. She found Brian his bag getting ready in the RV, and she leaned in the doorway, hearing Tara complaining about how she couldn't go or wasn't allowed to go. She heard a shift in his tone—commanding, cold, condescending. It made her shudder. That wasn't the Brian who loved her. It couldn't be...could it?

"Meredith." Alicia held out a bottle of water. "Here."

She reached out and took it. "Thanks."

She gave a nod then followed Tara as she groaned and stormed off toward the barb wire.

"You're going on a supply run tomorrow." Meghan crouched down beside her. "Shouldn't you be gettin' ready like Brian?"

"I should be." She smiled. "Beat Brian yet?"

"Not yet."

"Don't give up. No one man can win forever." She stood up and found him behind her. "Deathly silent, as always." She went to her tent and readied a bag, adding a few extra bullets, a bottle of water and she found four apples hidden in her sleeping bag. She smiled. Lilly. She put them inside and zipped it up. She exited the tent and was about to leave when someone called to her.

"Ca—Mery." Bobby caught up to her before she left. "Before you go, I need to talk—"

"I can't afford to wait." Her eyes flickered to his. "We have starving people—children—and now you want to talk? No, Bobby, it doesn't work that way. I have to go."

"I'll see you later then. We can talk then."

"Sure." She left the camp and went to the same place. No one was following her, and that was a relief. She wasn't sure how to act around Bobby, and she didn't want him getting any ideas. That kiss was just so awkward and out of the blue, and it was all she could think about. Bobby was a good friend, and she never saw him that way. She still didn't. And with this week with Daryl... Her brain was still processing whatever she and Daryl were doing. They both knew it wasn't a relationship, and they weren't in love with each other, so it was just...what? Scratching an itch? Friends with benefits? That term made her sick, but she didn't want to lose Daryl's friendship, not after getting it again, and the sex was really... And now she's using him for orgasms? That still didn't seem right. What the hell was going on with them? Two years and now they just... It didn't make any sense.

"Daryl?" She stepped into the house and found him on the couch, craving into a small chuck of wood. "You ready?"

"Yeah." He grabbed his bag. "You sure 'bout this?"

"Yes, I am. We both need the supplies, and it's in and out." She uncovered the car they'd gotten the last time they went. She set her bag in the backseat along with his.

"Could be overrun," Daryl replied, sitting in the driver's seat as she came around to front. "Sure you wanna go in just the two of us?"

"You and Michonne used to go in by just you two," she reminded him bitterly.

"Yeah, but that was small. This is a mall, Carol."

"Fine, let's just forget that our people are dying! You know what? Forget I asked you. I'll go by myself." She grabbed her bag and started for the road.

He went after her. "Stop. Carol, stop."

She didn't listen to him. "Just go back to your camp and bury your head in the dirt. At least you can plant crops and get water." She disappeared between bushes, and Daryl groaned. Her eyes burned heavily, and she felt so exhausted emotionally. She forced herself to go on.

"Carol." He ran to catch up to her. "Listen to me!"

"No." She picked up her pace.

"Woman." He grabbed her wrist and jerked her around. He felt like shit when he saw the tears on her face. "Carol, I didn't mean to—"

"It's not you." She wiped her cheeks. "I don't know what the hell is going on with me anymore. I—I don't know. I feel exhausted all the time, and I'm angry all the time. Bobby just kept pushing my name, and I just yelled at him." He narrowed his eyes. "I had no reason to, but I did. I feel like it's all falling apart."

"What is?" Daryl searched her eyes.

"Meredith Dixon is falling apart, and I don't know who or what that leaves behind."

"You. Carol Peletier."

"No. No, I can't be what's left. I can't be." She lost all color in her face. "I can't be her. Please, Daryl, don't let me be her. Please."

He felt like his heart was breaking as she fell apart, and he didn't know what to do for her. He never knew how to sooth a woman. It was the one thing he had no idea how to do. He had to try. He couldn't stand to see her like this. "You can't run from it forever, Carol."

"Yes, I can." She walked by him, heading back to the house.

"No, you can't." He followed her into the house, and he grabbed her wrist, jerking her to him, and he caught the other wrist. "Damn it, Carol! You will listen! You ain't gonna hide no more! You ain't gonna run away from this group and make up a new life. You are Carol Peletier, mama of Sophia Peletier, wife of Ed Peletier, adopted mother to Mika and Lizzie Samuels!"

She closed her eyes tightly. "No. No, my name is—"

"Carol Peletier. You killed David and Karen, because you didn't want the flu to spread, Rick left you on the road, and now you're with another camp."

"Please, stop."

"You lost your little girl to a walker in the woods, and your husband got ate alive, and you stopped the change. You helped Hershel a walker bit his leg. You saved his life, T-dog gave his life for you, Carol, and don't you dare day 'no', because you don't wanna believe that no more. You are Carol."

She fell to her knees, Daryl fell with her, and she cried into hands. Deep, powerful, body-shaking sobs, and Daryl kept reminding her who was she, what she had done—good and bad—and that people still love her. He forced her to remember everything she wanted to forget. He started to pick up on her denial of ever being Carol. She wanted to be someone else to not feel the guilt of killing two people, not matter what the reason for it was. It was her, but it wasn't her. She was trying to convince herself that she was Meredith Dixon from the start, but with Daryl being in her life now and with all they've talked about, all they've done, Meredith and Carol had started a war, and Carol was winning. Daryl wanted Carol to win, because that was the woman he wanted to be with always. Carol was his best friend, a good shot, a good person who's intentions got mixed up, and was the only woman who had ever made him feel. She was the only woman he wanted to be with. Carol, not Meredith, and he would make sure Meredith Dixon never existed again. Never.

It took a long while for Carol to calm down, Daryl went out to find them something to eat as she washed her face, and she stared at the reflection in the mirror. She was pale, red-eyed, shaking. This was the Carol she didn't want to be, and Daryl had forced it out of her. They had that effect on each other. Whenever one was losing their self, the other brought them back. She brought him back after Sophia, he helped her to grow strong and was slowly bringing her back from whoever the hell this person was she was trying to be. She wanted him to stop, but it was too late for that. Daryl was a constant reminder of her past, and he was the only tie she could not cut. She loved Daryl. He kept her going for such a long time. After Sophia, all she wanted to do was die, and she almost did, but Daryl saved her. He heard her scream, and he rode up on a motorcycle to save her. He found her when she was so sure no one would. He put his arms around her and took her back to the only home she'd ever needed. Wherever Daryl was, that's where Carol wanted to be, but that won't happen. The prison won't fall, and even if her camp got overrun, there's no way Rick would ever let her into the prison again.

She stared the Cherokee rose on her wrist. Sophia. Her baby girl. She wasn't strong enough to protect Sophia, but she had made sure Lizzie and Mika were strong. She prayed they took her words to heart and are surviving this world. Daryl hadn't said much about them, so that worried her. Lizzie was strong. She would protect herself and her sister from walkers and people. She would.

The front door shut, Carol left the bathroom and found Daryl at the table, preparing whatever game he had caught. She stayed on the stairs as he moved around, starting a fire, finding a pan to cook the meat in, and she smiled. If the world hadn't ended, Ed would be alive and she would probably be dead. Ed would've done horrible things to Sophia, and Sophia wouldn't have survived that, even if she got away from him. In a way, this was for the best. Ed finally got his, and Sophia was in a better place. Carol would give anything to have her baby with her, but life isn't for getting your way, it's for living. You have to keep living. That's what Daryl wanted her to do, that's why she killed Karen and David. They all had to keep living.

"You gonna eat?" Daryl called up to her.

She walked down the stairs, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I can't thank you, but I'm not mad at you."

"Mad for what? Bein' here or makin' you stay?"

She slid her hands down to his neck. "Both. You're as stubborn as mule, Daryl Dixon, but I wouldn't want you to be any other way."

"Don't sound like a compliment, but I'm gonna make it as one."

She leaned up and kissed him, he slid his arms around her waist and lifted her up, her legs locked around his hips. She curled her fingers through his hair, he groaned when she tugged lightly, and she smiled at the sound.

"Said we wasn't gonna do this," Daryl breathed in between kisses.

"Do you really want to stop?"

He pulled back, she searched his face, and he hauled her over his shoulder, going upstairs. She laughed when he set her down on the bed, his fingers intertwined with hers, their mouths finding each other', and instead of taking off her bracelet, she left it on. All of the other times before, she'd taken it off, as if she didn't want her life with Bobby to mix with her life with Daryl. It didn't matter anymore. She'd made a decision tonight, and they both could feel the change in her. Tonight would be the last. It had to be. Something had to be done about Phillip, and they would that together


	10. You Knew

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_ "You worry too much," Sasha told Beth as they walked the yard._

_ "What else is there to do?" She squinted in the sunlight. "Zach used to take my mind off of it all. He was so funny."_

_ "He was."_

_ "I never told nobody this but...he was there." She met Sasha's eyes. "At the Big Spot!, I saw him. His face was all chewed on and his leg was all bone." She shuddered. "I dream 'bout him now too. Every night."_

_ "You just gotta go through it."_

_ "I know that now. It's gettin' better." She crossed her arms. "Daryl's...been a good friend these past few months. He's very supportive."_

_ "Daryl's good like that."_

_ "Yeah." She saw Rick working on the crops by himself. "I'll talk to you in a little bit, okay?" She went over to him. "Rick?"_

_ "Hey, Beth." He looked up at her. "You look good."_

_ She smiled. "I feel good. I got twenty hours." It was a small victory, but it was enough. "Need a hand?"_

_ "Uh, sure. Why not?"_

_ She lowered herself down on her knees, and she followed his lead he uncovered zucchini, and the warm dirt felt good on her fingers. It reminded her of before. When she and Maggie were little and helped Ma with her garden. They helped their daddy too, when they were older. It made her smile as tears burned in the back of her eyes. We all got jobs to do, Beth, don't cry._

_ Hershel watched his youngest and Rick unearth the zucchini, Maggie noticed the scornful look on his face, and she put her arm over his shoulder, watching Rick and Beth._

_ "Don't worry, Daddy, I'm sure it's a platonic relationship."_

_ Hershel nudged her ribs. "I know nothin' goin' on."_

_ "Daddy, you look like you did when my date to prom picked me up."_

_ "I didn't say I liked it."_

_ She laughed. "She's a big girl. She can make her own decisions. Like I did with Glenn."_

_ "Did I ever tell you how unhelpful you could be?" he teased, and she laughed again. "It's gettin' late. Tell them to come up before it's dark."_

_ "I can't. It's time to feed Judith, and I promised Beth I would." She kissed his cheek and went into the prison as Hershel glared at them. She found Michonne and Judith on the perch. "Oh, did you wanna feed her?"_

_ "No. She was cryin'. I came to see where Beth was."_

_ Maggie picked her up. "She isn't cryin' now."_

_ "No, she's not. You oughta feed her. I'm going to check on Ty then take watch."_

_ "You don't have to lie." Maggie stopped her from leaving. "Glenn and I have watch tonight. Here." She handed Judy to Michonne. "Her food's in the kitchen."_

_ "Maggie," Michonne warned as she went downstairs. "Maggie!"_

_ Maggie waved over her shoulder as she left._

_ Michonne looked at Judy then turned her in her arms. "Okay, Lil' Ass Kicker, let's see if I can still do this." She went downstairs and found the jar of crushed carrots. She sat down with Judith on her legs, one of her hands was on the infant's back, and the other was spooning out the orange veggies._

_ Rick and Beth stepped inside as Michonne was feeding Judith, Beth and he exchanged a look, and Beth made a go over there gesture then walked off. He put his gloves in his back pocket and approached them._

_ "You're good at that." He was surprised at how much she'd gotten Judith to eat. Beth could only get so much before Judy got fussy._

_ "I do have more talents than chopping off heads." She wiped carrot off Judith's chin then met his eyes, and he smiled. "And taking out eyes."_

_ "I figured." He sat down. "You seen Daryl?"_

_ She nodded her chin to the door as Daryl left. "You know where he's always going?"_

_ "No, but I'll find out." He kissed Judith's head and stopped before he turned. "Tell Carl to get rest, no read comics all night with a flashlight."_

_ "Be safe," Michonne told him. "These kids need a father."_

_ He nodded and went after Daryl. "Daryl!" He quickly followed into the gate. "Daryl!" He cut him off. "Where're you goin'? It's nearly nightfall."_

_ "I ain't goin' nowhere. Maggie and Glenn are on watch, not me. I wanted some air."_

_ "In or out of the prison?"_

_ "That ain't your concern."_

_ "Yes, it is. You can't keep runnin' off, Daryl. We need you here. Wherever you're goin, no one needs you there. If you keep leavin', you're gonna force my hand."_

_ "Right, like with Carol. Will I get a meetin' with council or will you just take me out on a run and leave me there?" Daryl spat. "Tsk. Don't talk to me, Rick. I ain't in the mood for your shit."_

_ Rick glared after him._

– – –

They stayed in bed all day, and sleeping was not on their minds. They had both had warnings about disappearing, even if Carol's was nonverbal, but it didn't matter. The only thing that matter was the person in front of them. It was risky, especially since whenever a couple gets together, they lose each other. They didn't want to think about the world outside, just each other, for a little while. It was the only happiness either of them had.

Carol got dressed quickly. It was morning, and they weren't supposed to stay over. They were just so exhausted last night. Daryl heard her boot hit the floor and woke. "Sorry." She swung her leg over him to straddle his lap. "You need to wake up though. It's morning."

"Is it?" He exhaled deeply. "I say we stay here. I can get somethin' to eat."

"That's not a good idea. If we stay here, we're going to get in serious trouble with our leaders." She slid her hands down his arms. "Come on, lazy."

He grasped her hips. "No, you come here."

She leaned down and kissed him. "You're not _that_ tired."

"I could be."

She laughed. "C'mon, we gotta head back." She reached over and picked up her bracelet.

"I hate seein' you go back to that place," he said. "Can't you just...stay here? Or, you know, try to—"

"We had this talk. They need me. Lilly's the only nurse, and I have a bit of medical experience from Hershel. This is just how it goes." She kissed deeply to take his mind off of it.

"You ain't distractin' me."

"I'm not? Could've fooled me."

He chuckled. "Still drowsy."

"Uh-huh."

"Ain't this sweet?" It wasn't Daryl or Carol who said this. It was Rick Grimes. Daryl sat up and Carol looked over her shoulder as he stepped into the room. "Am I interruptin'?"

"How'd you—"

"Find you? Well, Beth told me you was out and about, so I followed you, and here you two are." He shook his head.

"It's really not what you think." Carol stood up. "I'm not spying for anyone."

"I know. You wouldn't do that." He wasn't being sarcastic. "Daryl sure as hell wouldn't tell me about this."

Daryl turned, covering himself with the sheet. "Then why're you here?"

"I was seein' what kept drawin' you back out there. I got my answer." He turned to Carol. "You look well. I'm glad."

"You too."

"Daryl." Rick turned to him. "I'll see you downstairs." He left the room.

"See you downstairs," Daryl called back, picking up his jeans.

"I have to go." She leaned down and kissed him. "Same time?"

"If I can't, Beth'll go."

"We can talk then. We need to." She gave him a smile and left. "Bye, Rick." She left before he could say anything. She hurried back to camp, Lilly and Brian were arguing about Meghan, and they were going to her tent, so she doubted they'd checked on her at all. She grabbed her bag out of her tent and met them halfway.

"You ready?" Carol asked.

"Yeah." He pushed by Lilly.

Lilly sighed and offered Carol a smile. "I swear I don't know who he is anymore."

"Hey, do me a favor?"

"Sure."

Carol pulled her aside and wrote out a note. "You're a good friend, and don't question me. I need you to go here with Tara, Alicia, Bobby and Meghan."

"And leave the camp? Carol, that's insane. This camp is good. We'll be fine."

Carol sighed. "Y—yeah. I—I just have a bad feeling." She shoved the note into her pocket. "I'll see you when I get back."

"Of course. You owe Meghan a game of chess." Lilly smiled. "Be safe."

"Be safe here too." She hugged Lilly and then left with Brian.

Lilly went over to the group. "Guys, listen up." She gave them the instructions Brian left, and they all packed up. She hoped Carol read the note she stuck in her backpack. Lilly had a bad feeling about the run Brian and Carol were going on. She hoped Carol would be okay. Brian too.

They all went to the river, Meghan began to play in the mud, Tara joined her, and Alicia kept watch on top of the RV. Lilly walked around the camp, chewing on her thumbnail. Her stomach was upset. She had a bad feeling about all of this. Something horrible was going to happen, and it felt closer to home that she liked. She decided to pray. _Please, God, let us be safe. Please._

– – –

Rick and Daryl were arguing in the house over Carol and his leaving to be with her. It almost came to blows when a loud crumbling sound made them stop. It sounded like the house had fallen apart, but it wasn't there. It was beside it then several gunshots sounded. They ducked down and crept to the back to see what happened.

––

They'd gotten lucky and found a few cans of food, Carol fit them into her bag, and Brian reserved his for ammo. They'd been out there for a while, and Carol knew they were getting farther and farther away from their camp. She got flashbacks from when Rick left her. Phillip didn't leave people, he killed them. She decided to lure him before he lured her.

"Have a nice walk?" Phillip asked as they trudged through the woods.

"Excuse me?" Carol cut a branch out of her way.

"I noticed you've been leavin' camp at night. You come back before dawn. It's nice, isn't it? The cool night air. It's like the moon stirs somethin' inside your body."

She sent him a dark look. "Drop the bullshit."

"What bullshit? I genuinely askin' if your walk was nice."

She eyed him for a long time before saying, "It was."

"I'm glad. Everyone deserves some leisure time." He ducked under a branch. "Let's swing around here. Might be some ammo."

"We've been through here, Phillip."

"It's Brian," he growled.

"Why Brian?" She adjusted the rifle on her shoulder. "Of all names?"

"Because it only has one I. Phillip had two."

She laughed and covered her mouth. Do not laugh with the enemy. Andrea wasn't laughing anymore because of him. Merle wasn't...making repulsive sexual remarks because of him. She almost lost Daryl to him. That made her insides tighten, and she felt sick. "Really?"

"No. I saw it on a shed. It was a new name for a new life. Like Meredith."

She didn't let on how tense she was. "Lilly tell you?"

"You don't look like a Meredith. You don't look much like anything. You're small, not very strong, but quick on your feet, resourceful, and I like that. We could use you, and you need us. So, tell me, Carol, why are you and Dixon runnin' around out here at night?" She looked at him with narrow eyes. "I heard."

"Do you watch too?" Carol hissed.

He laughed, and it made her skin crawl. "No. Alicia told me about the man in your tent. Rick's too good of a man to be with anyone after his wife, Glenn has Maggie, and that leaves the old man and Daryl. It was simple process of elimination."

"So, how do you intend to eliminate me?"

"I don't intend to. I meant what I said. You're useful to have. What do I have to do to make you stay?"

She stepped into the house. "You're a silver-tongued bastard, Phillip." She searched the cabinets and came up empty. "For starters, you shouldn't have taken Maggie and Glenn."

"Merle brought them to me." He followed her upstairs.

"You shouldn't have beaten Glenn and sexually abused Maggie."

"I didn't touch Glenn or Maggie." His angry began rise. "You don't have all the facts."

"You shouldn't have put Daryl and Merle against each other," she continued, taking the gun out of her waistband. "You shouldn't have killed Axel or Andrea or Oscar or Merle." She turned face him, the gun aimed at his chest.

He chuckled and held his hands up. "You're quite a woman."

"Do not say that." She turned the safety off. "You won't take another life."

"No, I don't." He stepped toward her. "Not one more life...before yours." He slammed his foot down. the floorboards had creaked under her weight, and with that stomp, they gave out.

The floor gave underneath Carol. She gasped and grasped the floorboards as the rotted wood clanked to the bottom. She felt the wood digging into her palms, and she pulled herself up as Phillip watched. He saw a piece of wood that was angled below her dangling body and would easily pierce her body. The rifle had fallen, and he could retrieve it. He looked at his gun then at her, and he saw she was pulling herself up. He was losing Lilly, and he knew how much she cared for Carol. If he silented that fly in her ear forever and showed her where Carol's body was, Lilly would see how she died and would turn to him for comfort. She would see how torn up Brian is and wouldn't dare take Meghan from him. He wouldn't lose her again.

He reacted, his instinct talking over. He slammed the butt of the rifle into her face. She lost her grip and fell, but she didn't land on the wood.

She looked up at him with scorching blue eyes, he padded down the stairs, and she stood up and grabbed the gun. "You son of a bitch!" she spat.

"Are you all right?"

"'Am I all right'?" she hissed, her lip bleeding. "You tried to kill me."

"I'm going to do more than that," he informed her. "I can't risk you telling, and I'm sure as hell not losing Megan. _You_ have to be removed from this equation."

She had no choice. She couldn't kill him, not with her gun or rifle—it might be the walkers down on them—and she couldn't with her knife. He was too strong. She gripped the rifle tightly and thrusted it at him, he caught it like she knew he would, and she bolted. She ran quickly, and she heard him cussing after her. She thought of a plan as she climbed over logs and ducked under branches. She would get away from him then go back to camp to inform them of this. She had to make sure Lilly and Bobby and Meghan were okay. She had to.

"Carol!" Phillip shouted.

She saw him coming, a loud thud sounded behind them as the house fell apart, and she ran toward the house she saw through the trees. It could cover her while she ran. She stepped onto the porch, the step gave out as Phillip shot it, and piece of wood stabbed into her ankle. "Ahh!"

"Carol!" Daryl ran out of the house, Rick followed, his gun trained on Phillip. "Bastard." Daryl gripped his crossbow, aiming at him as well.

Phillip smiled. "Hello, Rick."

"Put your gun down," Rick hissed.

"I don't think so, but you'll be putting yours down." His smile was so smug, so confident.

"You're givin' us orders when it's three on one?" Daryl huffed.

"Why should we?" Rick demanded.

"If you kill me, how are you gonna find Hershel and Bobby?" He laughed as confusion passed their faces. "I ran into Hershel at the prison. He was picking herds for the little blond girl, and you know why, Carol. Poor Robert is just so sick."

"You bastard!" Carol wanted to get him, but her ankle and Daryl wouldn't allow it.

"Now, we can work this out. Tend to your woman, and I'll meet you at the prison." He turned and walked away.

"We ain't lettin' him leave," Daryl hissed, picking Carol up.

"We got no choice." Rick holstered his gun. "He has 'em, and don't know where."

"Carol does," Daryl replied as he took her inside, setting her on the table. "They at your camp?"

"You know about him?" Rick exclaimed. "You were livin' with him? After what he did to us?"

"I wasn't sure at first, but how many one-eyed guys can there be? I tried to kill him, but he outsmarted me. Always one step ahead." She winced as Daryl removed the fragments of wood.

"Now he's got Hershel." Rick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Where's your camp?"

"Nearly two miles north of here," Daryl replied. "Been there a few times."

"How could _you_ have known about this and not told me?" Rick searched his eyes.

"You wasn't in the right mind, and Philip wasn't knocking down our door. Couldn't make plans to kill him. He was too close to Carol."

"You chose her over us?" Rick scoffed. "And for what? Sex?"

"It ain't like that," Daryl snapped. "I hate that bastard more than you can know! Do you think I liked watchin' him walk around? Do you like I liked seein' him breath when Merle and Andrea and every person he killed can't?"

"Daryl." She set a hand on his chest. "Walkers. That house falling probably drew their attention."

Rick watched the instant change in Daryl from Carol's touch. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." He ran his hands through his hairs. "Daryl, you gotta be kiddin' me!"

"She's comin' with us this time." He dug through her bag for something to wrap the wound with, but all he found was a scarf, so he used it.

"She ain't comin' back with us," Rick spat. "When you banish somebody, they stay gone. We can get her a car, but ain't comin' back with us."

"You know what, Rick? If you don't like my decision, take it up with the council. You got Sasha and Glenn to talk to. Hershel got took, and I'm sayin' yes. You got two votes. You wanna hear what they say?"

"Tyreese will kill her!"

"Man, I'll deal with that! I coulda dealt with that. You ain't making this decision."

"She is not coming back with us."

"Fine. No her, no me."

"Damn it, Daryl," Rick growled.


	11. Fall Of The Prison

Outside the walkers' growls grew louder and louder, Daryl grabbed his and Carol's bag from upstairs, Rick helped her to the car he had parked a few feet away, and they drove back to the prison. Ty and Glenn were working on the fence, Beth was concerned that Hershel wasn't back yet, and Carl and Lizzie were picking the last of the tomatoes, laughing.

Maggie ran and opened the gate, and the happy environment stopped. Carl went to greet Rick, Beth ran over to them to see if Hershel had come back with them, and Glenn saw the third person in the car and so did Ty.

"Rick!"

"Dad!"

"Hell no!"

"Ty, don't!"

"Daddy? Daddy?"

"Carol!"

All of the voices sounded at once, Daryl got out of the car and slammed the gate shut, locking it to keep Ty away from Carol. Lizzie bolted over to Carol right behind Carl, Maggie closed the gates and Beth whimpered when Hershel wasn't in the car. She so hoped they'd gotten him.

Rick and Carol got out, Carl hugged his father, worried when he hadn't been there this morning. Carol was tackled by Lizzie, who cried into her shirt, and Carol held her tightly. Maggie pulled Beth behind her protectively, taking her gun out and keeping it on Carol. Daryl saw it and stepped in the way.

"Move, Daryl," Maggie demanded.

"Hell, no. You get that thing outta my face!" He knocked it away.

"Daryl, she has the right," Rick said.

"Why in the hell is she back here?" Tyreese roared, gripping the chain-links. "I thought she was gone!"

"Well, she's back now," Daryl shot back. "Get used to it."

"She is not back!" Rick shouted.

"Man, it ain't up to you!" Daryl got in his face. "It ain't up to you."

"I'm standing right here." Carol held Lizzie close. "And we have bigger problems."

"Like what? Gettin' water?" Ty hissed.

"Phillip's back." Rick moved Maggie gun from Carol. "He's got Hershel."

Beth whimpered again, and Maggie went numb.

"Oh, no," Glenn breathed. "How? He was in the prison."

"He went out for herbs." Rick eyed Beth as she gripped her stomach. "He grabbed Hershel then. Beth, why was he pickin' herbs?"

Maggie turned to her little sister. "Beth?"

The young girl looked up at the accusing eyes. "Bobby was ill. I had to help. Carol didn't want me to, but I had to."

"Bobby?" Maggie shook her head. "Who?"

"He's a friend of mine," Carol answered. "He's from my camp."

"He a killer too?"

"Ty, back off!" Daryl glared. "Been seven months, and you didn't give a shit 'bout her whereabouts til now."

"Well, the snake is in the nest now."

"Enough!" Maggie met Beth's eyes. "Did you know?"

"I found Carol when we went on a run five or so months ago." Beth felt trapped, and Carol wanted to hug her, but Maggie would never let her get close. "She saved me, fed me, and I had to repay her. I woulda died if she hadn't found me." Beth went over to Carol. "I want her to stay."

"Beth was the thief?" Carl asked.

"You stole from us and gave it to her?" Tyreese was stunned. Carol was a killer, Beth was thief. The world does to shit and takes the good ones down with it. Karen, David...Damn, and now the Governor's back.

"Yes, but only the stuff we weren't usin'," Beth assured them. "Like the iron pills."

Rick stared at her. He didn't know either of these women anymore. Who was next? Maggie? Sasha? Michonne? He felt like he was in the funhouse from hell. He didn't want any more surprises. He couldn't handle anymore.

And just then, the Governor rode up in a tank with six armored cars.

"Oh, Christ."

––

"Rick, come down here," he called. "We need to talk."

"Get the others ready," Rick told Beth. "You know the plan. You get on that bus, and you don't look back. Do not look back. Go!" He pointed to Maggie and Carol. "Keep the others safe. Daryl, Glenn, Tyreese, be my back up."

"Rick! We ain't got all day!" Phillip shouted. "Get down here!"

Beth went inside as smoothly as possibly, Daryl nonchalantly grabbed the cart of guns and handed them out, and Ty wasn't pleased when Carol got a gun. Carol put it over her shoulder and slowly backed away as the others watched Rick and the Governor talk. She went inside and went to see how Beth was doing with rounding everyone up. This wasn't going to end well. They needed to getaway from the prison now. The Governor would never accept any deal that Rick had to offer, and there was no way they could live together without being at each others throats. This would **_never_** end well.

"Lizzie." Carol bent down and handed Lizzie her handgun. "Remember what I taught you?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Protect yourself and your sister, okay?" Carol wondered why Lizzie looked so sad. "Get on that bus. Go. Beth." Carol found her helping the sick toward the Tombs. She helped them and then went around and got the medication and needles and breathing equipment and shoved it in a duffel bag. She handed it to Jeanette as she went to check C block. She found Beth in her room.

"Beth?"

"Gettin' Judy's stuff."

"Isn't that—"

A loud crash sounded, the building shook, and they fell over. Carol grabbed Beth's hand and hauled her out of the cell, another crash sounded and they ducked as bites of debris fell down on them, causing Beth to drop the bag. Carol grabbed her and hauled her up, guiding her out of the cell block.

"Where're we goin'?" Beth asked.

"To here." She handed Beth a piece of paper. "Go here. I need you on that bus. Go."

She nodded and ran toward the Tombs.

Carol went outside as the Governor's men broke through fences, everyone was scattering and she saw Hershel had a neck wound. Phillip was wielding a blade, and Bobby was nowhere to be seen. Carol saw Daryl and Carl at the fence, and Carl took the shot Daryl told him not to, and the bullet shot through Phillip's hand, causing him to drop the blade.

Michonne slipped out of the fence to get Hershel back, knocking out one of the Governor's men, and she saw Hershel worming away. She grabbed the gun beside her and helped Hershel stand up, leading him away from the gunfire toward the woods. She cut her sweater and applied it to the neck wound, he was going to pass out from blood loss.

"Hold on, Hershel." She ducked down and looked for an opening to slice that rat bastard in half, like it needed to be. She saw one and went for it.

Everyone got separated on the field, Carol managed to get out of the gate, and she saw Lilly holding Meghan, blood on her shoulder from a bit. Phillip went over to them, took the young girl from Lilly's arms and shot her in the face, causing both Lilly and Carol to jump.

He dropped her little body like it was nothing and went into the gates, going after Rick.

"Lilly." Carol ran over to her. "Lilly?"

Her brown eyes moved to Carol's. "They got her... My little girl." She wasn't upset. She was still numb to it.

"Get down. Over here." Carol crouched down behind the car Lilly had driven over there. "I'm so sorry about Meghan, but we need to go. We have to."

"I know." She exhaled, tears in her eyes as watched the battle play out in front of her eyes. "Go get your people to that mall, I'll be right here. We'll go together."

"Are you sure?" Carol searched her eyes.

"Yes. Now go." Lilly pulled out her gun and checked the clip.

Carol stood up and shot the man who was coming over to them. She ran back to the prison, Lizzie and a few of the girls were out in the yard, arguing. Lizzie wanted to stay and fight, but they wanted to run. Carol was so proud of her.

"Get one the bus!" Carol shouted over the gunfire. "Lizzie, protect them."

"Yes, ma'am!" Lizzie waved to them. "Go!"

Beth ran over to them and got Judith. "We gotta go!" She hurried to the bus and noticed Lizzie wasn't with the kids. "Lizzie!"

"Beth!" Maggie helped Bob onto the bus, Sasha got in the driver's seat, and Maggie started to get out when Glenn grabbed her waist and dragged her into the seat with him. "Glenn, I can't. Daddy was injured. He needs me."

"No. He's lost." Glenn held her as tightly as he could. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes burned. "He needs me. Let go, Glenn, I don't wanna hurt you."

"I can't do that. I'm protecting my family too, Maggie."

"Daddy?" Beth fell into the seat beside them. "He was hurt? How bad? I mean, we gotta get him. We need to get him. Sasha, let me off the bus."

"No." She started it, looking over as Ty and Lizzie ran toward one of the cars. Follow your baby sister right now, Ty. "We gotta go." She started the bus and pulled out. "Sit down, Beth."

Beth sobbed into her hands, hysterical, and Maggie set her hand on Beth's shoulder then Glenn released her, and Maggie sagged onto the floor, crying with Beth as the prison fell behind them.

––

Carol saw Daryl was pinned down by men and walkers, her heart nearly stopped when a walker got too close him, but it was Daryl. He used the walker as a shield and took out the tank and Mitch. He saw Carol taking out walkers, Lizzie was behind her with Ty, and he hurried over to them.

"Get to the car," Daryl told her. "Go to the mall."

"You aren't gettin' rid of me that easily." She shot another walker. "Rick and Carl? Where are they?"

"Rick was out in the yard last I saw," Ty replied, no longer caring that she was murdering bitch. Right now she was another arm between them and the dead. The Governor's men were all being chewed on, and they needed to an escape plan. He saw Michonne stab Phillip and help Rick to the prison.

"Carl!" Rick shouted.

Lizzie looked around. "Carl? Carl? Where is he?" She ran toward the back. "Carl!"

"Lizzie!" Carol started to go after her when Daryl grabbed her arm. "Let go of me."

"Ty, get that car," Daryl told him.

Rick fell over, Daryl went over and helped him up, leading him to the car, and Michonne grabbed Carol and hauled her toward the woods. Daryl shouted after her, but Michonne wasn't letting go. He cursed and closed the car door, but they could handle themselves.

"Dad!" Carl ran over to them, holding Lizzie's hand as the a pack of walkers stumbled over to them.

"Get in!" Ty turned. It was getting overrun with walkers from all the gunfire. "Daryl?"

"Damn it!" He couldn't see Carol or Michonne, but he trusted her to get to that mall. He got in the car and started it.

"Dad?" Carl looked over his many injuries.

"Ju—Judith?" Rick stammered.

"I don't know."

"She's on the bus." Lizzie ripped her sleeve off using the knife Carol had given her. "Move." She climbed over Carol and added pressure to the gunshot wound, Rick winced, gritting his teeth, and she felt warm blood sock through onto her fingers.

Daryl drove out, going to the mall, knowing Carol got to the others and told them where to go. She was tough and wanted to protect them all. She told them. That's the kind of woman she was. They know, and he would see them all there.

––

Hershel was barely conscious when Michonne and Carol found him, luckily no walkers were close enough to bit him. Carol saw Lilly walking back to her car, so she and Michonne led Hershel to the car, Lilly went to shoot them but Carol grabbed the gun and lowered her arm.

"They're good people, and we need to leave here. Lilly?"

"I killed him." Her eyes filled with tears. "Bastard's dead."

"Good." She led Lilly to the passenger side and sat her down, Michonne started the car, and Carol got inside and tended to Hershel as best she could. She told Michonne about the mall, but Michonne argued with her about going to the coast. Carol argued back, and Lilly went off about going to the mall, because it made sense, and they didn't want to push her to the edge. Michonne knew what Carol did to people who were a threat, and she knew Lilly killed the Governor without a second thought. She saw that little girl, and the dots were easily connected.

We harden, Michonne thought as they drove to the mall. Cut our ties to our loved ones and we become ice cold. Michonne had found people to care about, and she was returning to herself, but Lilly and Carol had lost their ties. They needed to find them again. If not, they were would more bodies, and Michonne was tired of hauling bodies.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**


	12. Child Soldiers

It took a day and a half to get the mall, there were so many cars out front so they didn't know who were there. Carol noticed the doors had been pried open and were being boarded over. She climbed out of the car, covered in Hershel's blood, and she looked inside. It was too dark to see if anyone was inside, but a light came on, and approached the doors. The doors opened.

"Carol." Daryl pushed the door open and paused when he saw Hershel and Michonne and some woman. He went over and helped Michonne. He showed them in and led them to the food court, where everyone was. Mostly everyone.

Ty and Maggie were getting rid of the walker bodies. It wasn't as overrun as the prison, and most of them were locked in the stores, but they still lost people. A little girl had been bitten, and one of the sick choked to death on his saliva and turned. He nearly killed everyone on the bus, but Beth put him down.

Carol saw Beth off by herself, holding a rifle, eyes hardened.

"Daddy?" Maggie dropped equipment and ran across the food court. "Dad!"

Beth looked up as Maggie embraced their father, and she closed her eyes tightly. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It was another trick. She ran her hands through her hair and tugged hard. It wasn't real.

"Beth." Carol lowered herself down on her knees in front of her. "Hey, Beth?"

"It ain't real. It ain't."

"Thanks for believin' in me, Bethy." Hershel chuckled weakly as he limped over to them.

"Daddy?" She shot up and hugged him. He was warm and solid. "Daddy! Thank God." She sobbed.

"Tough son of a bitch," Daryl told Carol.

"He is." She looked herself over and then blond blur tackled her. "Lizzie." She hugged her tightly.

"I knew you'd be okay!" She gripped her stiff shirt tightly. "I knew you'd be here!"

She hugged her tightly. "Where's Mika?"

Daryl tensed. Oh, shit.

"Carol!" Carl shouted. "Dad needs help. Bob couldn't help anymore, 'cause he got shot. He just passed out. Hershel needs to rest too, and we need you. C'mere!"

"I'll be right back." She released Lizzie and followed Carl over to where Rick was. "Where's the medical bag?"

"Here." He slid it over to her.

She splashed a bit of water on his thigh, peeling the material off the bloody wound, and she cut his jeans open. The bullet only grazed his thigh, so they were could be no digging the bullet out. She stitched up his leg as Maggie, Daryl and Michonne assisted the wounded toward the beds in the front of the store, the young girls would share a bed, Glenn hand his own bed in a section away—one of the stores by the bed area—from the others since he was still ill along with the others who were sick, but Maggie wasn't leaving his side once they were done with their chores.

Beth took the woman to get washed up and new clothes then Ty took the men. Daryl stayed with Carol as tended to Rick, and Carl helped Carol when she needed it.

"Let's get him cleaned up." She hadn't put any gauze on his wounds yet, because he needed washed off. He might infect his wounds. He was so filthy. "Get a bucket of the water Beth's boiling and some clothes."

"I can do it," Carl told her. "He's my dead."

"I know you can, but I need to see if he has anymore injuries. This is a lot of blood."

"Okay." He stood up and found Beth in the back.

"Lemme help." Daryl leaned him against one of the tables and removed his belt. "He's gonna make it."

"That's not a question." She had to cut his shirt off then removed his boots. "He needs clothes. You're about his size. Could you get them for me?" He groaned. "Or do you want to wash him?"

"Be back." He left and padded down the escalators.

"Didn't think so."

Carl set the bucket down and handed her a washcloth. "Why don't we wash his front then his back? Get that done then...you can wash the rest. I should check on Judy."

She tried not to laugh. "Okay."

They washed his chest and back, Carol found a few more wounds and cleaned them, and he was so dirty that fizzled up with white foam. It took a while, but they got it done and Carl left to check on Judy. Carol washed off his legs first then washed with his pelvis area.

––

Daryl had to dig through the clothes and found something that would fit Rick then grabbed new boots from the shoe store. He wasn't fond of the big open space, but they could pull the gates down where they slept, so that was a relief.

What wasn't was Carol not knowing that Mika had died months ago. He couldn't find the time to tell her, and now he has to. She was going to be beyond pissed at him. He didn't want to know how she would react. She wouldn't do anything to him, might hit or vent at him like he did at her with Sophia. He just hoped he didn't lose her now that he's finally getting her back his Carol.

He decided not to deal with that and think about checking the stability of the mall. He didn't a repeat of the _Big Spot! _so he and Ty and Maggie would do a sweep in the morning and make sure there were no walkers on the roof, and see if any areas needed supported.

He returned to the food court as Carol finished washing Rick off and had put sterile gauze over his wounds, he helped her cloth Rick and then he and Tyreese carried him to the bed area as Carol cleaned up the mess they'd left behind.

"Hey." Sasha came over to Carol, her gun out.

Carol looked up, hands full of bloody cotton balls and rags. "So, it's you then?"

She lifted her shirt, revealing a bloody gunshot wound on her stomach, but luckily it was distant enough to not have punctured any of the organs or arteries. "I had to help the others. Could you clean it?"

"Of course. Sit down on that table." She threw away the bloody cotton balls and rags then grabbed the bottle of peroxide and the last four cotton balls. She cleaned it out, Sasha winced, and Carol had to stitch it. "Bite down on this."

She grasped the belt between her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut as the needle slid through her flesh. Carol was good at this. She's restitched so many clothes, and this wasn't that different. While in Martinez's group, she had to stitch so many gunshot wounds, knife wounds, pipe wounds. She was surprised they didn't all die of infections. They were both lucky to have found the other.

Sasha noticed the tears in her eyes and tried to ignore them, but she couldn't. "Why're you cryin'?"

"I'm not." She finished with the needle and put a sterile gauze over them. "You'll need to be careful."

She slid off the table and nodded.

Tyreese watched them talk, cloaked in darkness, and he backed up as Sasha left Carol to clean herself up. Daryl walked up behind Ty and found him glaring at Carol, but Sasha came over and took him back to the group. Daryl would need to have a talk with Ty.

He watched Carol wipe at the blood on her hands and start to cry. He went over to her. "What's wrong?"

"He wasn't there." She stood up. "Bobby. He wasn't there."

"He probably got away."

She shook her head. "Or Phillip killed him."

"Cryin' ain't gonna help him," Daryl stated. "If he's alive, he'll find somebody."

"Who? He's a showoff, but he isn't skilled with walkers. He isn't you." She started to wipe the tears off, but her hands were still bloody. "God."

He reached over and wiped the tears off. "Let's get you clean."

"Do we have anymore gauze?"

"What for? Was you hit?"

"It's for... Nothing. Never mind."

They went to the women's bathroom that was still lit with a few candles, he got the last of the warm water, and he wet a washrag, making her sit on the counter as he washed the blood off her hands. It reminded her of when Shane washed her hands after Sophia was shot by Rick and she tore up every Cherokee rose that Daryl had found. They'd found her, but not in the way they had hoped. Carol had closure, which was more than anyone could ask for in this world.

"She's dead, isn't she?" Carol whispered.

He lifted his eyes and then squirted soap out of the dispenser and cleaned her hands thoroughly. "Yeah."

"How?"

"Asshole shot up the yard. She got shot, turned real fast, and Rick...stopped her."

"As always with my girls," she murmured. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"'Cause I wasn't thinkin'. I wanted you to know, but shit got confused between us and—I didn't."

"So when sex is on the table and my daughter gets shot, you chose sex over telling me she's dead?"

"Ain't like that. I didn't want you to..."

"Great. Here we go again." She pulled her hands from his and dried them. "I didn't lose my mind when I lost Sophia, and I sure as all haven't lost my mind now! If you want to bring up Karen and David, go ahead. I killed them and burned them, and it's been months since I did that. I'm fine! I was fine before you came and messed everything up!"

"What did I messed up? Meredith? Some shit persona you ain't even bein' called by no more?"

"I was perfectly happy as Meredith, but I should have changed the last name instead of having the memory of you lingering with every step!"

"I was better before you went and started burnin' people!"

"How were you better?" she shouted. "My being here has nothing to do with how you are!"

"The hell it doesn't!" He lunged at her. "You was my pillar! When Sophia walked outta that barn and Rick shot her, you was there for me! It shoulda been the other way 'round! You was there for me through Merle too! And when I thought you was dead... When I found your knife in that walker...before I found you in that cell..."

She searched his eyes.

"You being here has a helluva lot to do with how I am."

She curled her arms around his neck and kissed him, his emotions were so mixed up, but her mouth and body were lulling the storm inside of him. He needed her, and it was for reasons he should never admit. He was drawn to her, like when Hershel's farm was overrun and he heard her scream, that day he, Carl and Oscar were checking for walkers and he found her, and like when they were in that house and they came crossbow-to-gun. Something in them was drawn to the other, and that would probably never change.

After their argument and makeup/anger sex, they both cleaned up and changed out of their raggedy clothes. Carol didn't look at him when they were cleaning up or when they were changing, and Carol always peeked when he was putting his pants on, though that usually lead them being removed again, but it was so unlike her. Hell, what was like her?

She stuffed their clothes into the trash bag with the others, Carol tossed her bloody boots in the bag and grabbed a new pair from the store across from them while Daryl looked over the leather jackets and found one to put on.

He turned and saw Carol going upstairs. He grabbed his crossbow and followed. She got into bed with Lizzie, and Daryl decided to keep watch with Maggie

– – –

"Tara!" Lilly shouted. "We need to find Tara! Please, she's a good person. We need to find my sister."

Carol woke up and saw Lilly pleading to Daryl, Sasha and Glenn. "Lilly." She got out of bed and went over to her. "Shh." She put her arm around her.

"I need Tara," she whimpered. "Please, Carol, I need to find her."

"I know." She gripped her shoulders. "I'll go look for her. I'm sure she's fine." She couldn't let her suffer with the unknown. Carol had closure on her husband and little girl, Lilly only had closure on her little girl and the bastard that killed her.

"You ain't goin' nowhere," Daryl informed her. "Maggie, Glenn, Hershel and me are in charge. No one's goin' nowhere."

Carol met his eyes. "Of course not. Let her suffer. It's not like any of you know her."

"But we know you," Sasha replied. "Does she?"

"Don't make her suffer for what I did! She lost her daughter! She doesn't need to lost her sister! If you won't look for Tara, I will!"

"Carol!" Lizzie stared at Carol's ankle. "You're bleedin'."

They all look down, she pulled her ankle back, but Daryl bent down and freed her boot from her pant leg, which was wet with blood. The veins in her ankle were severely discolored, it was swollen and bleeding.

"It's just a little infection," she stared.

"Little my ass." He glared. "The hell you didn't tell nobody 'bout that?"

"It's my ankle. I can handle it."

"The hell you can!"

"It looks like T-dog's arm did," Glenn said. "Dale said it was a blood infection."

"We got meds for that?" Sasha asked.

"Merle's clap saved T-dog." He shrugged. "I don't know if we have anything for that."

"Get Bob to look," Daryl told Sasha.

"He's injured. He needs rest." Sasha shook her head. "Let her suffer. Like Karen and David."

"I'll look." Lilly walked away quickly with Glenn. The faster Carol's better, the faster someone looks for Tara. That's all that mattered right now. Carol was a good friend, but she needed her sister. She needed Tara now more than ever. She couldn't lose everyone she loved all at once. They never should have left that apartment.

"Sit your ass down," Daryl growled.

"Who died and named you Ed?" Carol hissed, and Daryl was taken aback. "I can handle myself. I don't need you to be my protector."

"I think you do. You seen that ankle? It's bad. Sit down."

"Are you going to make me?"

He picked her up and carried her over to one of the couches, Sasha snorted a laugh at Carol's expression and left them to deal with their issues, and Glenn and Lilly found the medication needed. Maggie helped Glenn back to bed when he felt weak, and she smiled at him, smoothing his hair back before going to see if Beth had finished boiling the water.

"I've got this." Lilly lowered herself down on her knees and began to clean it, Carol bit down on her lip hard, and Daryl held his hand out to her, and after a few dabs, she clasped his hand, hard. "Sorry." She blew on it.

Lilly finished disinfecting it as best she could, she stitched it and gave Carol some medication. Daryl was a bit worried when her hand went limp in his, Lilly said that was normal, and he picked her up and carried her to the bed she'd slept in last night.

"I'll stay with the injured." Lilly rubbed her arms. "I was a nurse. I can help out."

"Okay." Sasha looked over at Bob then met Lilly's eyes. "If anyone doesn't make it, you end them." Sasha held out a knife.

Lilly took it in shaky hands. "I'll do what I can to make sure that doesn't happen, but please, please consider looking for my sister."

"We're going to." She set a hand on her shoulder and left. If it was Ty, she wouldn't stop looking until she found a walker or a body.

Lilly checked on the man they called Rick, checking his pulse. It was strong. She pulled the blankets back and looked at his wound, gently touching it. It hadn't bled through.

"How is he?" a young man asked.

"He's fine. He has a strong pulse." She covered him up again. "Are you his son?"

"Carl." He set a car seat down. "This is my sister, Judith." His eyes met hers. "If you hurt any of us, I won't hesitate to put you down. Are we clear?"

She nodded, shuddering inside. Carol had said such good things about them, but they all seem so different. Was Brian right? Were they bad people? Surely not. Carol's a good woman, and she wouldn't be with a bad group. But his daughter...

"If you're anything like Phillip, I won't hesitate."

She frowned. "Phillip?"

He nodded. "The Governor."

"I don't know who that is." She doubted he meant the one who used to babysit Meghan while Brian was off doing other things.

"The man with the one-eye, the one that shot your daughter in the head. He's Phillip. They called him the Governor." He searched her confused eyes. "He kept his daughter as a pet after she turned into a walker, he kept aquariums of walker heads. How do you not know who I'm talking about?"

"He wasn't... His name was Brian."

"No, it was Phillip. He was an asshole. He kidnapped Maggie and Glenn, beat the hell out of Glenn, and Maggie... He killed Andrea. He fed her to his best friend after he stabbed him and left him to die."

"Maggie?" Her eyes were filled with tears. "What'd he do to her?"

"Carl." Lizzie walked over to them and smiled a little at Lilly then picked up Judith's car seat. "Beth needs to feed Judy."

"Here. I got her."

"No, it's okay." She stepped back. "I want to help out too." She walked away.

_Child soldiers_, Lilly thought to herself. Maybe that's how they survive now. Meghan could never be like that. She could never. She covered her mouth and cried. She left the room and went to an abandoned store, curling up and mourning her little girl.


	13. New Home, New Issues

"Maggie and I will go to the roof," Sasha told Ty and Michonne. "You two check downstairs and see if you can find anything useful."

"Is splitting up such a good idea?" Michonne asked.

"She's right. We should stay together." Maggie pulled her hair back. "Let's go together. Daryl can keep watch."

They all agreed to their jobs, Daryl picked at the tip of one of his arrows as they left to check the roof and basement. He was left to his thoughts. What Carol had said really hit him hard. He wasn't like Ed. He would never put his hands on her. He wouldn't be a man like his father. Why would Carol ever say that he was? She knew the type of man his father was, and she knew just how much Daryl hated to be anything like that, how hard he fought to keep his father's blood from taking him over. He was a Dixon, but he was a good man. Carol used to tell me not to let Merle get him down, that Merle was bad for him. Now she's calling him Ed. Guilt doesn't make you turn on your friends, and he thought he'd helped her through all of that. How much guilt does she have? It's only been about seven months since Rick abandoned her. What the hell did Martinez make her do? What did she do to herself? She never talked about it, always said it was nothing new. That didn't mean much. She was with them for months, so that shit would seem old. What the hell was it?

Chewing his lower lip, he watched Beth teach Lizzie how to feed Judith, and Carl watched them both from a distance. Daryl could see Carl's feelings forming for Lizzie like they'd formed for Beth. Carol wouldn't be too fond of that. Or maybe she would. Hell, he didn't know anymore. He wasn't even sure he knew her anymore. He didn't want to abandon her like Rick had. It was her, but it wasn't her. He'd have to get past her walls, and as intimate as sex was, it wasn't helping to break down her walls. He needed a damn wrecking ball to get through her thick ass walls.

He almost laughed to himself. Now he was the one was trying to get through to her. All the roles have been switched. Sasha was leading, Michonne was more the motherly type, Carol was distant, and he was there for them. He needed that role to change, because Rick got one thing right: They got through this by pulling together, not apart.

––

Carol woke up to the others talking and eating and laughing, a figure was coming over to her, and she sat up, her ankle numb. She removed her other boot and drew her legs in as Lilly sat down on the bed beside her, holding out a plate of squirrel meat possibly and some canned beans and two slices of tomatoes and a glass of cooled boiled water.

"Have you eaten?" Carol didn't take the food.

"As much as I could swallow, yes. I gave what I couldn't finish to the kids. Here, you need this."

"I'm not hungry. Give it to Lizzie and Carl for me." She did take the glass of water. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. You're eating this. Daryl wanted to bring this, but I took it and brought it for you, so you're going to eat it. If I leave with a full plate, Daryl will come over here and force-feed you."

"I'm gonna, even if you is here." Daryl stopped by the foot of the bed. "You're eatin'."

"I'm not hungry," she protested. "I'm tired."

"I got this, Lilly."

"Okay." She set the plate down on the bed and went to see if Rick was awake, so she could get him his plate.

"I'm not eating. I'm going back to sleep."

"Woman, just eat the damn food." He picked up the plate, grabbed her empty hand and set the plate on her palm. "You'd best not drop this plate."

"I can't hold it," she murmured. "My hands are too weak. That's why I need to go back to sleep."

"That's why you need a damn fork." He sat in front of her. "Open your mouth."

"Excuse me?"

"Open. Your. Mouth. It ain't so hard to listen." He grabbed a bit of the meat. "I'm gonna feed you either way."

"Fine, but don't be mama bird. I refuse to eat ABC food."

He's lips twitched as he held back a smile. "Then open your mouth."

She did as he told her to, and he was glad she was listening for once. She usually cut him off when he brought up something she didn't want to talk about or do. He knew if anyone could bring her back, it was him. He was the only one here who'd been by her side from the beginning. Rick was by Carl's, and Glenn's was with Rick and Daryl. It was only later that they all were there for each other, after Rick's pissed speech about pulling together. They needed Rick back too. They needed Rick and Carol back to themselves, and that would take time. He was willing to put time into them both, but he had a feeling only one person could bring Rick back to who he needed to be.

Daryl took the plate over to Beth, who was washing dinner plates at that point, and he went for a walk, Lilly decided to help Beth while the kids played in the game store, talking about how much they used to want this game or that. Carl wasn't with them, and neither was Lizzie or Judith. Lilly knew the baby was with Rick, so the kids must be keeping watch? It made her stomach tighten to think of them carrying, but that's what it took nowadays.

Carl looked over at Lizzie, who was staring at a stuffed animal as she sat on the bench by herself. She looked so impassive, so he figured it had to do with Mika. He walked away, but he heard something rip and he turned as Lizzie tore up the stuffed animal. She brushed it off her lap and pushed her bangs back, taking a deep breath.

"Hey, do you wanna patrol with me?"

She looked up. "Yeah." She slid off the bench and fell into step beside him.

They walked in silence, their boots echoing off the floor, and it was almost uncomfortable. He wanted to talk, he was willing to talk about anything to keep the silence from drowning them both, but he didn't know what to say. She wasn't like Beth, and he didn't know how to make her talk. Possibly take over the conversation as he listened. He wasn't one to talk unless he had a point to prove. He mostly talked to his dad and Michonne and whoever was on watch with him. He doubted bringing up walkers would make her feel any better. What would?

"Did you ever play?" Lizzie asked, pointing to the other game store ahead of them.

"Yeah. I spent a lot of time on video games. Used to drive my parents insane."

"I liked war games. Dad never approved, but I got them on every Christmas and birthday." She crossed her arms. "Mika liked games were you could dress them up and stuff. They were so boring to me, but she was always younger than me, so...I guess that's why."

"I miss her too," he admitted.

"I have Carol now, but...I miss Mika so much. It's not fair." She stopped walking. "If we'd only stayed inside. If I hadn't been so stubborn and made her go outside with me—"

"You can't think about that." He met her eyes. "Think about the good things, like when you played video games and holidays and birthdays. Remember her that way."

"That's easy for you to say. You're sister's still alive. I've had a little sister almost all of my life, and now I don't. Don't you dare tell me what to think." She stormed off.

Smooth, so smooth. Thanks a lot, Carol. He should've never used her advise. He was about to walk away when Lizzie screamed. "Lizzie!" He took off running after her and found her pinned down by a man with two younger men arguing behind her. "Get off of her!"

"Oh, shit! The kid's got a gun!" the younger blond one backed up, hands up. "Man, get off her now!"

Carl aimed at the man's head. "I said get off her!"

"It's a kindergartener holding me at gunpoint." He barked a laugh. He had black hair with scars on his arms and tattoos. He was one massive muscle, and he could take down this little runt.

"Silas, let her go." The brunette boy demanded. "This ain't right. You said you wouldn't do this no more."

"A man's got needs, bro. Get that boy."

"Carl?" Michonne ran over to them with Daryl and Sasha behind her. Her katana came out when she saw Lizzie pinned down, her jeans undone. "Hell no!"

Daryl tackled the man before Michonne chopped his head and balls off, Sasha helped Lizzie to stand, holding the other two with her gun as Daryl wrestled to get control of the muscled rapist.

"I got you." Sasha rubbed her back as she sobbed. "Who the hell are you? And who the hell checked this store?"

"No one. It was locked." Michonne set her blade on the base of the brunette's throat. "You have answering to do."

"I'm J—Jeremiah. That's my brother, Silas. This is Tom." He closed his eyes tightly. "We aren't bad people. We aren't."

"You were going watch him rape a little girl." Michonne added pressured to her katana. "Who knows what else when he was done."

Daryl punched Silas hard in the face for about the fifth time, finally knocking him out. "Asshole." He kicked him to the side. "You all right?" He eyed Lizzie.

"She's shaken," Sasha answered when Lizzie didn't. "Carl, take her to Carol, but don't tell Carol what happened."

Carl didn't want to leave. He wanted to shot these asshole in the face for what they were going to let Silas was going to do to her. He felt Lizzie's hand touch his arm, he broke eye contact and looked over into her big, frightened blue eyes. He lowered his gun and took her back to camp, holding her hand as she shook.

Once out of earshot when Lizzie's breathing was becoming very erratic, Carl stopped and gripped her shoulders. "Lizzie, breathe, just breathe. Like me." He took slow breaths in, and she did as he did. "I'll protect you, Lizzie. I will." He searched her eyes. "We protect family."

She nodded. "What—would he have done?" She stared down at her broken zipper. "Would he have—?"

"No. I wouldn't have let him." He pulled her in for a hug. "Just breathe. He won't hurt you. I will never let him." He looked over at where the others stood. _Never._

_––_

"Get on your knees." Daryl kicked the back of Tom's leg, forcing him down, and Jeremiah dropped before Daryl could touch him. Daryl put his gun to Tom's forehead. "You got one chance, asshole."

Tom smirked. "Okay." He looked up into Daryl's eyes calmly. "I wasn't going to touch that little girl. She's not my type, and I had a little sister before this shit started. Silas's is a sex offender, raped ten schoolgirls before they finally caught him. World went to hell, and here we are, same as you." He dropped his head. "Jeremy's all I got now."

"And you?" Michonne asked.

"Nobody crosses my brother," he stated, shaking. "I would have helped her. I would have, but nobody crosses him. I don't even got a weapon, and I'm not strong enough. He would've had her by the time I got close to him." He started to cry, already guilty for a crime that hadn't happened. "I'm sorry."

Michonne scoffed and walked away from him. "This all you have?" She grabbed the gun from Silas's waistband.

"No." Tom grabbed the machete that was hidden on his leg. "Here." He held it out to her. "That's it."

"Why does he have no weapon?" Sasha asked, referring to Jeremiah.

"Too pussy to do anything that needed done."

"Get up." Daryl grabbed Tom by the back of his shirt. "I don't like this asshole."

"I ain't fond of you neither." He glared.

"Daryl, they could be...useful." Sasha frowned at Jeremiah. "We'll discuss what to do with that one."

"Leavin' him here," Daryl said. "Locked up."

"I'll stay with him." Michonne sheathed the katana. "Go. Make sure she's okay."

Daryl grabbed two belts from the shelf and tightened them around their wrists, Sasha led Jeremiah to the other end of the mall, Daryl had his crossbow on Tom's back the entire way back, and Michonne bound Silas and kicked him onto his back, hovering over him. He would wake up soon, and she would be there to "fix" his problem.

They set Tom and Jeremiah down, Glenn, Daryl and Maggie decided what to do with them, Carl and Lizzie weren't back yet, so Carol snuck out to look for them. She heard what had happened, and she wasn't going to let anyone touch her daughter. She protected Sophia from that, and she would protect Lizzie from that.

"I say we keep them," Maggie whispered. "Toughen 'em up and keep an eye on Tom."

"Silas isn't coming back here," Glenn tossed in. "We're getting rid of him. In the morning, Sasha and I will drive him out of here, leave him somewhere."

"Do you think he'll stay away?" Sasha asked. "Phillip didn't. We lost the prison and nearly our lives."

"If he found his way back," Daryl shook his head, "it ain't gonna be pretty."

"Think he's from Randall's group?" Maggie asked. "We never did find them. Could be them."

"So, we're going to kill him?" Sasha leaned against the wall. "I think it's best. What he would have done to Lizzie—I can't have him coming back to finish."

"I agree." Daryl eyed the boys. "Jeremiah ain't like the other two. Big crybaby. He's terrified of his own damn shadow."

"And Tom?" Maggie repressed a shudder. "I don't like the vibe I get from him."

"He seems all right," Glenn argued. "And we need more people to help secure the building. The sooner that's done, the better. One entrance, one exit."

"So, these two live and Silas dies?" She glanced around at their faces. "Anyone disagree?"

No one said anything.

––

Carol found Carl and Lizzie standing in front of a store, and she hurried over to them. Lizzie held Carl's hand tightly, and Carol stopped behind them, seeing Michonne standing with her back to man who had tried to rape Lizzie.

"Everything all right?" Michonne asked Carol.

"Yes. I think the other two are staying." She turned to Lizzie. "Honey, are you all right?"

"Yeah." She met her eyes. "I—I'm fine. He didn't touch me."

"We made sure." Carl released Lizzie's hand. "The others will be back soon, you two should go. Daryl's gonna be pissed if you're out of bed, and you need to rest, Lizzie."

"Carl—" Lizzie began.

"No, he's right." Carol set her hand on Lizzie's shoulder. "Let's go back."

They left, Michonne turned to see the man waking, and she and Carl's eyes met.

– – –

Daryl, Sasha, and Maggie went on a run for something no one but the council knew. Lilly prayed it was for Tara. Ty was rounding up people to finish securing the mall while Michonne taught Jeremiah how to use a gun, without any bullets for now. Tom didn't want a weapon. He stuck around Beth, which Hershel didn't like. Hershel made sure Beth was with Lilly, who was helping the others as they got their strength back.

"Look who's up." Lilly smiled at Rick. "How are you feeling?"

"It's nothin' new," he assured her. "Who are you?"

"Lilly Chambler." She offered her hand out of habit.

"Rick Grimes." He shook it. "Are you the one who did this?" He gestured to his cleaned wounds.

"No. No, Carol did that." She sat on the bed and looked over his injuries. "Your son and daughter are fine, too."

He nodded. Thank God. "What have I missed?" The group seemed smaller, but two more unfamiliar faces were staring at him.

"They found a small group of men. One of them tried to rape Lizzie."

"What?" He swallowed. "Is he here?"

"He was gone when Daryl and the other went to get rid of him. Michonne and Carl seem confident he won't be back." She met his eyes. "You're healing well."

"I do that."

She smiled. "I'll get you some water." She left and found Beth in the food court with Lizzie and Carl. Those two were almost inseparable. It was rare to see him without her and vise versa. Carol was glad Lizzie had someone there for her when Carol couldn't be there. Daryl ordered her to stay in bed all day, but she was already **_out_** of bed. "Beth. I need some water for Rick, please."

"Here." She handed her two bottle of water. "For Carol."

"Thanks." She went back to him as Carl and Lizzie and Beth went for a walk, all carrying. "I need to find Carol, but here." She handed him the bottle. "Small sips."

"Thank you."

She nodded and went to find Carol. She noticed that Tom had disappeared from his place on the couch in the resting lounge. She had a sickly feeling about his disappearance, so she went over to were Michonne and Jeremiah were, leaving the bottle and taking a gun, hiding it in the waistband with her shirt covering it.

"So, how long are we staying here?" Lizzie asked Beth.

"I don't know. It won't be forever." She crossed her arms. "I miss the farm."

"Don't look back," Carl told her. "It's not going to make you feel any better."

She nodded. "Hey, a stroller." She went over to it. "How cute. I think Judy would fit in it too."

"Let's go see."

They took it back with them, Carl fitted Judith into the stroller, and they took her on their walk. Beth pretended they were a family, shopping, but she kept that to herself. She didn't want Carl to worry about her. She was still having nightmares, but that was her problem. One day, she'd get over them. Hopefully.

"Hey, Beth?" Jeremiah jogged over to her, Carl and Lizzie were in the store, getting the useful items and putting them in bags. "A baby?" He crouched down. "She's beautiful. Looks like my kid sis." He smiled and met her eyes, she was glaring. "Uh, sorry." He backed up.

"What do you want?" She pulled the stroller back.

"Michonne? Michonne asked me to help y'all. I'm not carrying." He lifted his shirt, emptied his pocket and lifted his pant legs all to show her he wasn't carrying. "I just wanna help, make up for Silas."

"Well, I am carryin'." She pulled her gun out of her holder and pressed it into his neck, he flinched. "You make one move on me or Lizzie, and this bullet is your brain's new best friend."

"Y—yes, ma'am."

She replaced it as Carl and Lizzie came out of the store, Lizzie gripped her knife, and Carl demanded to know why he was here. "Michonne sent him." Beth took the bags they were holding and tossed them at Jeremiah. "He's the mule."

He shouldered the bags, one in front, and one on his back. "Where to next?"

"Over there. Glenn and the others need books to entertain themselves." She led the way, Carl kept Lizzie and Beth close, and Jeremiah walked beside Beth so he wasn't behind her and Lizzie, and they wouldn't think he was staring at their backsides. He always looked down when he was nervous. Beth made him nervous, Carl honestly scared him, and Lizzie didn't make him feel anything but bad. He wanted to make up for whatever mental damage Silas had caused her. No one should ever have to go through that, especially now. He was beginning to believe humans, not biters, were the biggest threat. Biters don't have guns and minds, they just do. Humans were the truly horrible ones.

"Hey, kid, you okay?" Beth eyed him as Lizzie and Carl bagged canned goods in the cabinets in the back room of a store.

"Not really," he admitted. "Silas... He was a son of a bitch—sorry, Mom—and I should've done something...anything to stop him." He saw the kids come out and stopped talking.

Beth searched his eyes. "Carl, take Lizzie and Judy back. Here." She took the bag off Jeremiah's chest and handed it to Lizzie. "We'll be back soon."

"No." Carl shook his head. "We should stay together."

"I can handle myself. Judy needs to be fed anyway, so go." She pointed down toward their camp.

"Let's just go." Lizzie put the bag on and pushed the stroller.

Carl eyed Beth and Jeremiah as they walked away, Lizzie waited for him with Judy, and he caught up to her. "I don't trust him."

"She's got her gun. She'll use it if she needs to."

That was a slight comfort.

They walked back, Lizzie noticed some of the clothes left behind, and she remembered how no one had any when they rushed out of the prison. She decided to pack a bag of extra clothes for her and Carol, just in case. You can never know.

Carl went and prepared something for Judy to eat, Lizzie offered Judy one of the stuffed animals she'd found that Mika would've loved, and she smiled when Judy accepted it, chewing on the ear, but still.

A hand brushed across her back, she looked up and met the green eyes of Tom. He smiled warmly and glanced at Judy. "This your sister?"

"No. She's Carl's sister. My sister's dead." She glanced over and wondered why his hand was still on her back.

"Mine too. It's horrible, ain't it? I knew her all of her life, and...now she's gone." Tears prickled up in his eyes. "'Cause of one open door. Just one." He was the only survivor, the dead were too busy devouring on his parents, his sister, hell even his dog.

"I'm sorry." She felt her skin begin to crawl. "How old was she?"

"She would've been your age." He moved his hand and touched her hair. "She and you mighta been friends."

"Don't touch me." Lizzie shot up. "Back the hell off, right now." She pulled out her knife.

He held his hands up. "I didn't mean nothing by it."

"You aren't supposed to be here." Carl stopped behind Lizzie, his hand on his gun.

"Just talkin' to the little lady." He stood up. "Either of you seen Jeremy?"

"He's with Beth." Carl nodded down the hall. "You can't go to him, so I'd suggest you sit down in the resting lounge and keep your mouth shut."

He smirked. "I'm sorry for your lose, Lizzie." He turned on his heel and walked off, thoroughly annoyed with the man wannabe.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." She turned her head to him. "I can handle myself."

"I know." He smiled at her. "But I like to help when I can."

She blushed and turned her head. "We should feed Judith."

"Yeah."


	14. Suicide Not

Beth sat down on a bench inside a clothes store, Jeremiah was getting some clothes for himself, and she studied the design on her boots. She wondered how long until they were chased from this place. They'd made a home at the prison, and the farm was her home too, but they both fell in the end. Was there any hope? Was there a place they could call home? Was it all hopeless?

Jeremiah pulled down a clean t-shirt and adjusted the collar. He noticed how low the sleeves were, and he grabbed the thick wristband and buttoned it cross the marks. He didn't want any of them to know. No one knew, and it wouldn't matter if they did. He had to keep it hidden. He had to.

He looked through the crack in the dressing room and found Beth was staring off, the look on her hopeless face was all too familiar. He slid a belt through the loops of his jeans then opened the door, stuffing the bag with the clothes that fit him.

She blinked and snapped out of her mini-depression. "You ready?"

"If this bag would zip—Aw, shit." He broke the skin on his hand as he roughly yanked the zipper.

"Here, let me." She took the bag and pushed the clothes down. "Did you pack the entire store? Damn." She groaned as she pulled it shut and tossed it back at him. "It's cut, don't make a fuss."

"I'm making a fuss." He put the bag on and met his eyes. "You okay? Saw you looking kinda off just then."

"I was just thinkin'." She crossed her arms. "And you? What were you thinkin' 'bout earlier?"

He frowned. "Silas, you mean."

She nodded. "It wasn't just Lizzie."

"No." He sat down on bench and ran his hands through his hair. "There were times when I would go out scouting for food and shelter, and I'd come back and find Silas...standing over some little girl's body, "Found her in the closet", he would say. Or "damn shame, baby brother." I—" He rubbed his arms and sighed. "I used to think how horrible, but after a certain point, little blond girls showed up in places they shouldn't have been, and the blood... He was my brother, and I didn't want to admit that he was more of a monster than those..._things_ outside."

She felt sick.

"I...stopped going scouting, Tom would go, and Silas stayed with me. I got him to stop, but the minute he saw Lizzie... If I had a gun, I would have killed him. I can take a lot—killing biters, not helping people who need help, eating expired food that made us sick—but hurting people...forcing yourself on them. No, you don't do that shit. You don't do that. God." He started crying again.

She took his hands and crouched down in front of him. "Hey, don't worry 'bout it. She's fine. She's fine."

"I—I gotta—" He stood up and walked over to the dressing room, hastily wiping his eyes. "Let's head back. Your daddy's probably worried about you." He sniffed and headed out of the store, and she followed him. "Ladies first." He waited by the escalator. "Or I can go first."

She padded up the stairs, he followed, and they returned to the group. Beth began to make dinner, Lizzie helped out since Lilly and Carol were nowhere in sight. Carl watched Tom and Jeremiah as they spoke in the lounge, and he was tempted to go and cuff them away from each other in case they were planning to kill them in their sleep.

"Where's Carol?" Beth asked Jeanette. "Do any of y'all know?"

"No," Jeanette replied. "Last I saw, she was with Rick."

Carl glanced over. "Bet Lilly went to look for her. Want me to go look?"

"No, we got enough people gone." She wiped off her jeans and grabbed a can of black beans, glancing over at Jeremiah, and she chewed her lip. Whether or not he liked it, she was going to get the whole story. She had to. She felt like he was on a clock, and it was getting close to midnight.

––

Carol sat in the basement, the supplies she'd found beside her in a duffel bag, her eyes glued to the wall in front of her, her hands clasped, her elbow on resting on her knees. She'd been down here for hours, and she didn't want to leave. It was nice down here, so serene. Then Lilly found her and killed that serenity.

"There you are." She smiled. "I've been looking for you."

"Is something wrong?" She didn't move her eyes.

"No. Nothing is wrong." She bent down. "Carol?"

"What?"

"Did you find pot or is there something in the dust in here?" She frowned. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I will. I had to get the supplies down here. Tom showed them to me."

"Where's Tom now?"

"He went back there." She pointed to the office beside them. "Only one way in and out."

"Well, get the supplies, I'll get him, and we'll go to dinner. Okay?"

She blinked. "Yeah, okay. Is Daryl back yet?"

"No. They'll probably lay low for tonight then return in the morning." She opened the office door just as Tom did, and she was jerked forward.

"Sorry, ma'am." He steadied her. "Y'all ready to head back?"

"Yes." Carol was exiting, and Lilly caught up to her. "Why'd you come down here? Really? I know you. It wasn't to think. Does it have to do with Daryl?"

"It does." She needed to talk to him, so hopefully their little trip wouldn't take too long.

"Care to fill me in?"

"Not...yet." She glanced back and saw Tom listening to their conversation. "You can assume what's going on between us."

"Yes, I can."

"You and the redneck?" Tom spoke in, eyebrows raised. "Huh. I never woulda guessed."

"Why's that?" Carol asked. "Because you thought I was a lesbian or because he spends a lot of time with Michonne?"

"Neither. Just figured he was a loner." He shrugged, murmuring, "Maybe thought you was gay, just a little."

She sighed, missing Axel. She missed a lot of people, but there was never time to dwell on that. They were gone, and crying her eyes out weren't going to make them come back. It would only be a distraction, and she really didn't need that right now. She just needed to talk to Daryl. If he didn't come back soon, she may just go after them. She had no idea where they were, but tracking couldn't be that hard... Maybe Michonne knew where they were going.

"Carol." Beth was glaring. "You're supposed to be in bed."

"Daryl?"

"No, me. You need to be resting, not walking around and putting pressure on your ankle. You need to rest anyway, you look so tired."

"Appearances." She waved it away. "Did you make dinner? If not, I'll help."

"It's already been prepared, now get into bed."

Carol could see Beth wasn't backing down. "Here then." She handed the bag to Beth and went to bed. "I'm not hungry, so don't bring me a plate." She removed her shoes and lied down. She pulled her leg in and examined her ankle, wincing a little. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the bottle of morphine and a syringe. She'd found it among Tom's things. He wouldn't miss it, and it was better if he didn't have it on him.

She used a little for the pain in her ankle then put the bottle in her boot and moved them underneath the bed. She eased back and closed her eyes, distantly hearing someone coming over to her and stopping. It was probably Lilly. She didn't move until that person turned and walked away. She rolled over. She was torn between duty and internal instincts. Sooner or later, she would have to make a choice. Part of her already knew what she had subconsciously decided on.

––

She watched as Carl taught Lizzie how to load the .9mm while Lilly changed the gauze over her ankle. She'd found it while out with Tom, and Lizzie needed more than just a knife. She was one of the older kids, and she was a good shot. They needed able bodies, and those who were sick were just now better. Glenn back to his old self, and he was worrying about Maggie. Ty was worried about Sasha as well.

It'd been two days, and they hadn't returned yet. Inside, Carol knew she should be worried as well, but she wasn't. Being delayed wasn't a surprise. With the amount of walkers migrating this way and any living that may or may not show up, it was expected.

"How's that?" Lilly asked her.

"Thank you," Carol murmured, eyes locked on Beth as she came back from guarding the door.

"Are they back?" Glenn asked Beth.

She stepped off the escalators, Maggie, Daryl, and Sasha were behind her, and Carol shot forward, but Lilly grabbed her shoulders to stop her. Maggie was fine, not a mark on her, but Daryl and Sasha were a mess. Daryl was head-to-toe bloody, his hair matted in blood and mud, bits of walker on his clothes and boots. Sasha's clothes were covered in walker bits as well, and her arms were bloody. She had bits of walker on her boots too, so it was probably from bashing in the heads of walkers.

Lilly was surprised to see such a reaction from Carol when they others showed up. For the past couple of days, she wasn't even worried. It seemed like she didn't even care that they hadn't returned, but now...her attitude on the whole thing had changed. "They're okay." Lilly pulled her back. "Lie down."

"I'm not a child." Carol glared.

"I'm not treating you like one, but I will. You need to lie down." She stood up. "Hershel and I will tend to them." She went and helped Beth prepare hot water for them to bathe.

"What happened?" Ty rushed over.

"I'm fine," Sasha assured him. "I'm not bitten, and neither is he."

"Ran into a herd of walkers," Daryl explained. "We had to sneak by 'em."

"Well, almost all of us." Sasha glanced at Maggie.

"You told me to hang back." Maggie held her hands up. "Go get cleaned up, and Ty can help me with the bags. C'mon."

"I'll help," Glenn said.

Maggie looked him over hard and didn't see a hint of sickness on him. She smiled, holding back tears. "Let's go."

Maggie, Glenn, and Ty went to get the bags, Lilly gave Sasha the first batch of hot water, and Daryl waited by the bathrooms as Beth prepared more for him. He didn't mind it as much as Sasha did.

"Here." Lilly handed him two bottles—conditioner and shampoo. "It's all I could find, so I hope you don't mind the scent. It'll probably fade, 'cause it's real cheap."

"Thanks," he murmured.

"Did you...find anything?" She searched his eyes. "Or see anyone?"

"No."

She nodded. "I'll have your dinner ready by the time you're out."

"How's Carol?"

"Stubborn. I've yet to meet anyone as stubborn." She shook her head. "She's resting now, but I'm hoping to get some food in her. She hasn't been eating right."

"What'd you mean?"

"She just hasn't been...eating."

"Why not? She sick?"

"No. She's not sick. She's not hungry. I'm worried. Do you think you can try to get her to eat? I've taken her food, but she's always...asleep. She sleeps so much. I think she's depressed. Severally depressed."

He chewed his bottom lip.

"I'm not an expert on depression, but Tara had the same reaction when she was dealing with her sexual orientation." She glanced over her shoulder then stepped closer, nearly gagging as the faint scent of rotting flesh rushed into her nostrils. "She needs medication. She won't willingly take it, so I'll have to hide them in food. Or drinks."

"What're you askin' me to do? Get the pills?"

"I know you care about her, a lot more than most people here, and you're resourceful and skilled in killing...walkers. I care about her too, so I'm asking you please—"

"Ask Bob." Sasha stepped out of the bathroom, having heard everything. "He'll know what kind of medication she'll need, and Hershel may know where to find it."

She nodded. "I'll get your water." She retrieved the bucket from Beth and gave it to Daryl. She and Sasha went to see Bob and Hershel, who were together since Bob was still healing and needed to make sure there was no infection, as Daryl cleaned himself up. They spoke softly, and Hershel decided to take a look at Carol before anything was done. He wouldn't put people at risk if what was going on with Carol could be fixed.

But when Hershel and Lilly went to her bed, she was gone. Lilly was going to look for her, but Beth needed help. Lizzie and Carl were practicing gun safety, Ty, Maggie and Glenn were bringing up bags with unknown content, Michonne was helping Rick with Judith, and Beth didn't want the ill anywhere near the uncooked food. Lilly had to help.

"She'll be fine," Beth told her. "She's not depressed. I know Carol. She'll be fine."

She nodded. Her worry was amplified, because of Tara. She had to do something. If Daryl didn't see anybody while they were out, which meant Tara had gotten away. Lilly had no idea where away was though. She needed to find her sister. She had to.

––

Daryl cleaned himself up and then began to clean off his crossbow. He heard someone heaving nearby, and he paused. He shouldered his crossbow and opened the door, hearing it again. He went into the women's bathroom and found Carol on the floor, vomiting. He frowned and bent down beside her.

"Carol?"

She coughed and winced. "Ugh."

"You all right?"

"I don't know." She pulled her legs in. "I feel horrible, and my stomach is killing me." She buried her face in her knees and sniffed. "What are we going to do?"

"Hershel's gonna look at you."

"No, Daryl." She lifted her head, tears in her eyes. "What are we going to do about everything? We can't stay here forever, and there's nowhere safe, so what now? We try and find another prison? Another farm?" She searched his eyes. "Honestly, what the hell are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I haven't thought about it." He sat down.

She sniffed. "Jenner was right."

"What?" He stiffened.

"If I had only stayed, Sophia wouldn't have died all alone. T-dog would still be alive, Axel too."

"If you woulda stayed, Hershel would be dead."

"Beth would've learned what I learned," she corrected.

"Why now?" he demanded. "Why now of all times you think Jenner was right?"

"Look at us, Daryl! We're a mall that's going to crumble to pieces!" She met his eyes. "Everything is trying to kill us. Walkers, people, diseases. We keep losing people, and sooner or later...we'll be the ones lost."

He didn't say anything.

"I am so tired of losing people. And when I saw you today...I thought—" Her voice broke. She sniffed and took a deep breath. "I can't lose you. I can't lose anyone else, but I will. We will." She shook her head. "This is our extinction event. I think it's time we all accept that."

"No, it ain't."

"Yes, it is! God, Daryl, use your eyes. This world belongs to the dead now."

"No, it don't!" His voice jolted her. "If this was our damn "extinction event", Lil' Ass Kicker never woulda been born! No babies woulda been born. You still believe in God and all. Why would He do that?"

"Maybe He got tired of all the bullshit and wanted to make us pay for our selfishness."

He shook his head. "You ain't thinkin' straight. You're sick."

"No, I'm not."

"You are. I just seen you throw up." Why is she arguing with him? They had a lot of sick people, and her body was already weak from her ankle. She probably got sick wondering around the mall.

She leaned her head back against the door of the stall. "I'm not sick. Well, I am sick of this mall, but that's an entirely different type of sick. How would I gotten sick?"

He didn't understand, but he didn't want to understand. He didn't want to think about the other possibility. If she was what he thought she was, he was already panicking.

"I'm just...queasy. I've been taking sedatives without food. Don't freak out on me." She wiped her eyes. "Don't you think it would've been better to have stayed? No, listen to me, Daryl. It was a blessing, but all saw it as a curse. Jacqui was lucky."

"Here we go." He stood up and rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"This suicide shit! First Andrea then Beth and now you." He glared down at her. "If you feel so worthless, go ahead and get it over with."

"Who said I was going to kill myself?" She climbed to her feet. "All I did was move leaving the CDC into my long list of regrets."

He narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm going to lie down."

"No, you're gonna eat."

"Daryl, don't—don't argue with...us."

"Carol?" He eyed her, she stumbled and fell into him. "Carol." He moved his arm around her back and under her legs, gently picking her up. He carried her back to the "bedroom", Hershel was talking to Rick, so Daryl didn't have to go far to find him. He waited as Hershel looked her over, and Hershel began to frown.

"What?" Daryl studied his face.

"I need an IV. Lilly, could you get my bag?" He avoided looking at Daryl, and when Lilly returned, he set up the IV silently then began to look through Carol's things.

"Hershel, what's wrong with her?" Lilly sat at the foot of the bed.

He found the small bottle of almost full morphine and gripped it tightly. "It would seem Carol helped herself to some morphine."

"What?"

He held it up. "There's a needle mark on her—"

"She ain't a druggie," Daryl interrupted. "Probably used it for her ankle. What's the problem?"

"This isn't one of ours. When the thief started, I wrote down how much we had in each bottle of medicine. There's too much in this." He looked over at where Tom and Jeremiah helped Beth to feed the kids. "It's theirs."

"She took medicine from them?" Lilly glanced at Carol. "Wait, the other day she was with Tom, getting supplies."

"With who else?" Daryl asked.

"Only Carol and Tom. I'd been looking for her, and I found her in the downstairs office. She'd been spacing, and she had a duffel bag full of supplies. I didn't check it, just let Beth have it."

"Did she overdose?" Daryl pressed. "Or was somethin' else put in there?"

"More likely something else was put in," Hershel answered. "We'll have to wait for her to wake up before we can get the whole story. Until then I want eyes on those boys."

"I'll do it," Lilly offered. "They stay in the lounge most days, and I can see them from where I sleep." Not that she slept. "And in return, someone can go looking for Tara."

"It doesn't work that way," Hershel informed her. "I'm sorry, but we can't risk sending a group on a wild goose chase."

"Then I'll go," she said through her teeth.

"I can't let you do that either. With those men held up here, they must have a camp nearby, and if you were to find it... Well, you can imagine."

She sighed. "I'll watch the boys then and Carol."

"No, I'll do it." Daryl's eyes were on her face. "I wanna be here when she wakes."

"Are you guys eatin'?" Jeremiah asked.

"We'll be over shortly." Hershel slid the bottle into his pocket and stood up. "You should eat too, Daryl."

He gave a nod.

Lilly looked at Carol then stood up and joined Hershel, leaving Daryl to his thoughts. He had many thoughts, and shooting Tom right between the eyes was the main one.

– – –

"Getting restless?" Michonne handed Rick his dinner and sat down across from him.

"A little. There's not much to do here." He glanced over at Daryl and Carol. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know. Overexertion, I'm assuming."

"I'm surprised Tyreese is lettin' her stay so close to the group. He hasn't tried anythin', has he?"

"No. We keep him busy, and it helps keep his mind off what happened to Karen." She leaned back on her hands. "Carol's been helping a lot with the injured, and I think it's taken some of the edge off his need to kill her."

"And those boys? I've noticed them hangin' around Beth."

"Jeremiah's not that bad, but we're keeping an eye on Tom." Something about him didn't settle well with her. She liked Jeremiah. He was a good kid, a quick study. He was willing to do anything to contribute, even clean the bathrooms. If anyone asked Tom to help with anything, he complained. The only time he hadn't is when Carol went exploring, and he tagged along. She knew that whatever happened down there was connected to Carol's condition.

"Have you eaten?" He noticed her eying Tom. "Michonne?"

"Excuse me. I should check on Beth."

"Can't that wait? This is the most conversation I've had all day."

She smirked. "How can I say no to that? Oh, right, easily."

He laughed.

"All right. I'll stay, but if only to rest." She stretched out her legs, and he smirked. "Don't think this is for you. I set my sights higher."

"Higher? Like who? Tyreese?"

She smiled. "Don't you wish you knew?"

"Do I get any hints?" he mused.

"Of course, but I'll never tell if you're right or close, so go right ahead." She stood up. "I'll get my plate, eat with you. It beats listening to the kids talk about "the good old days." She shook her head, he laughed, and she joined the line, getting a plate from Beth. "Thanks."

She smiled and went to the next person.

She returned. "Tomorrow, I'm going to the roof. You're welcome to join me. If you can handle it."

"I'm fine."

She arched a brow.

"I am."

"We'll take it slow." She winked at him, and he felt his cheeks flush. She laughed and ate a small slice of tomato.

They ate with light conversation, Rick noticed Glenn going over to Hershel then Daryl and Maggie, and he knew they were about to have a meeting. He knew about what, everyone did. They needed to stock up on supplies and get out of here, but with a group this size, driving around wouldn't be a good idea. It would be hard to hide, and the combined scent of the living wouldn't help. But where would they go? The quarry got overrun, and they definitely weren't going to be out in the open with no walls. They farm got overrun, and all of the other farms were burnt out or full of walkers. They had no place to put all of these people. They would be living like sardines. And what were the chances of them finding another prison? They needed walls, and the only place with walls was Woodbury. They could at least take a look, but he would leave that thought to himself. He knew they were probably thinking the same thing. If Woodbury was lost...they had only the open road and hope of finding someone place.


	15. Ride

Beth took Judy to the other end of the mall as everyone settled in for the night, Rick and Michonne were still up talking in hushed voices as to not disturb the others, Daryl was lying beside Carol as she slept, and Glenn made sure that everyone knew when the meeting was before curling up with Maggie and chatting softly.

Beth rocked Judy gently, softly singing to her. "_I've been out on that open road. You can be my full-time Daddy, white and gold. Singing blues has been getting old. You can be my full-time baby, hot or cold._"Beth adjusted Judith in her arms. "_Don't break me down. I've been travelin' too long. I've been trying too hard, with one pretty song._"

Jeremiah went to find Beth and ask her if would be all right if he borrowed a blanket. He didn't want to disturb anybody by just walking into their sleeping area, and he knew they didn't trust him or Tom, and Beth was the only one he was comfortable with. He came to a stop when he heard Beth singing, especially when he heard the lyrics.

"_I hear the birds on a summer breeze. I drive fast, I am alone in the night. Been tryin' not to get into trouble, but I, I got a war in my mind. So, I just ride, just ride. I just ride, just ride._" Beth smiled as Judy's eyes began to droop, her soft burbling come to a stop. "_Dying young and playing hard. That's the way my father made his life an art. Drink all day and we til dark. That's the way the road dogs did it—ride til dark." _She turned and jumped at the sight of Jeremiah. "You scared me."

"That song..." He swallowed. "Please, don't let me interrupt. I—I'll come back later."

"No, that's okay. She's asleep." Beth gently set Judy in the stroller and covered her up. "Can I help you?"

"No. Well, yes." He walked up the steps. "I—I don't mean to embarrass you, but...could you perhaps finish that song?"

"Why?" She searched his eyes. "Okay." She remembered where she stopped. "_Don't leave me now. Don't say good bye. Don't turn around, leave me high and dry. I hear the birds on the summer breeze. I drive fast, I am alone in the night. Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I, I've got a war in my mind. I just ride, just ride. I just ride, just ride._"She felt only a little uncomfortable as he watched her intently. "_I'm tired of feeling like I'm f-ing crazy._" They both laughed at her refusal to say the actual word. "_I'm tired of driving til I see stars in my eyes. It's all I've got to keep myself sane, baby. So I just ride, I just ride. I hear the birds on a summer breeze. I drive fast, I am alone in the night. Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I, I've got a war in my mind._"

"_Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I, I've got a war in my mind,_" he softly murmured with her.

And then together, "_I just ride, just ride. I just ride, just ride_."

When the song was finished, there was only silence. Beth wanted to compliment him on how nice he sang, but the sad look in his eyes made her not say anything, or move anything or breathe too loudly. He seemed so broken in that moment, and it reminded Beth of how she was at the farm, when her mother was shot in front of her and Shawn and all of her neighbors and parents' friends. This song brought back memories of something just as horrible for him.

She gripped her wrist, the metal cross cool on her fingers. "Does that song remind you of somebody?"

"It does." He lifted his head. "My mother."

"Oh?"

"She got infected and...died." He smiled sadly. "She used to sing that to me when the biters were too loud, and I couldn't sleep. I told her, "I'm eighteen. I don't need a lullaby." and she would reply, "Well, I do." She was so persistent. You could never win."

"I lost my mother too. And my stepbrother and...so many others." She hugged her arms. "It's horrible, but they get to rest now. We gotta be strong for them, you know?"

"I was the good one. I ate my veggies, did my homework, passed all my classes, and had a four-point-oh. I was a baseball player with a full ride to any college in the area," he whispered. "I—I used to babysit my baby sister when my mom and dad went out, and I had a job at the local grocery store. I was a clerk, and I knew everybody. I still—still see them too, smiling, happy, laughing, and I see them on the road all the time."

She reached out and grasped his hand. "Yeah?"

He nodded, tears glistening in his eyes. "The first night after the outbreak...my parents made me pack up my essentials, and we all stayed in their bedroom. We shoulda just left. What were we thinking?" His grip tightened on Beth's hand. "They broke through our house, and since my baby sister had just woke up crying, she... Then my father tried to... Mom and I got out."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he closed his eyes, slowly moving his arms around her small waist. "I'm so sorry." She rubbed his back.

"No, I am." He released her. "I—You have enough to worry about. I—I shouldn't be overwhelming you with my problems."

"I have a lot of worries, and right now, my worry is focused on you. Talk to me." She sat down beside the stroller and patted the floor. "You can't get through alone. Obviously, it's not working, so talk to me."

"I should check on Tom—"

"Tom's a big boy, and you needa talk." She gripped his hand and jerked hard, he fell over, nearly crushing her, and she laughed as he apologized. "Don't worry 'bout it. That was all me." She pulled her legs in. "We got all night."

He smiled in the corner of his mouth. "Persistent, aren't you?"

"I can be, especially when people I care about are hurtin' themselves." He tensed up, and she dropped her eyes to his wristband. "Don't see guys wearin' wristbands nowadays."

"It was a gift." He moved his wrist out of her line of sight.

"I got one too." She held her wrist out, showing him the scar. "I get it."

He stared. "Why would you ever do this? You have a family who loves you and cares about you. Why would you do this?"

"I thought it was the best choice, but it was just the easy way out. I have so much to live for now, and so do you. People care 'bout you."

"Who? Tom? No. Tom only cares about Tom. I have nobody, and I'm fine with that. No one worries about me or will miss me if I die. I'll just be another body, and I'm all right with that."

"I ain't nobody," she informed him.

"You don't know me, Beth. You can't care about somebody you do not know."

"But I can care 'bout somebody I like, someone I know one day I'll love. You ain't alone." She set a hand on his arm. "I know you care, Jeremiah."

"It's better if I don't," he muttered. "People tend to die around me. Best I just leave when I get the chance."

"You're leavin'?"

"If I get the chance. It's best. I ain't gonna tell anybody about y'all being here, so don't worry. I—I would never put any of you in danger."

"Don't run away," Beth hissed. "And I don't mean from people. What are you so afraid of?"

"You wouldn't understand." He tried to stand up, but she grabbed his sleeve and held him in place with strength he never would've guessed she had. "Look, I just want to be alone."

"You can't be alone. You can't survive this world alone."

"Who says I'm looking to survive?" He felt her grip numb. "What's there to live for? I'm honestly asking, because I don't know. There's no cure for this shit. You get bit, and you slowly decay. You can't cure that. And there's nowhere that's safe. Sooner or later, they'll get you. I can't watch anyone else be torn apart, and I'm sure as hell not going to become one of those things."

"You'll turn into one of them unless you kill yourself with a bullet to the head. Everyone is infected, it's in your body right now."

"I know."

"Then...what? You're planning suicide?"

"No. I'm going home, and I doubt I'll make it unscathed, but at least I'll be home and it'll be over."

"You're stupid."

"I like to think of myself as a dreamer." She scoffed, but he heard the laugh underneath it. "Truth is, I wasn't made to survive this world."

"You seem to be doin' pretty good."

"'Cause people I care 'bout died for me. My sister, father, mother, friends. Hell, even my neighbors, and I hated 'em. Loud and nosy, but they still protected me. Me over themselves."

"You were meant to live, Jeremiah. You just need to find somethin' to live for. Until then," She slid the metal cuff around his wrist and hers, "I'm your leech."

"What? Beth, take this off." He tried to pull, but they were real. Very real. "Beth, I'm serious, take it off."

"I don't have the key."

"What? We can't be cuffed together! It's insane and risky if we get attacked, not to mention no one in your group trusts me, and your father and sister will kill me. We're not both girls, Beth."

"Do you gotta pee?"

"No."

"Then for now, we're good." She smiled sweetly. "Talk."

"Sweet Jesus." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're insane."

"I like to think of myself as a motivator."

He chuckled. "How is this gonna work? We'll sing campfire songs until I feel better?"

"I don't know any campfire songs, but I do know few songs that were made to prevent suicide."

"What about homicide?" he mused.

She smiled. "I'd like to see you try. I'm still carryin', and you can't reach my gun."

"Wanna see me try?"

"Nope." She stretched her legs out. "Start talkin'."

"Let's see. The problems started when I was seven, and I couldn't reach the TV remote. I was so short." She giggled, and he smiled at the sound. "You're gonna be so sick of me by the time we're done."

"We'll see."

It took a long time, but he did talk. She listened to what he had to deal with, though he never mentioned his mother or his brother. She noticed how he didn't like to associate himself with his brother, like if he did, he would become him. She didn't point it out just yet. They would stick together for a while, and she would tell him eventually.

Tom watched Jeremiah spoke with the little blond girl, and he narrowed his eyes. He was beginning to wonder where his allegiance lied.


	16. Seeking Carol

Daryl didn't join the council meeting, because when he woke up, Carol was coming out of consciousness, and he needed to talk to her. Bob was sure the drug was out of her system, but she was disoriented. Lilly made her something to eat, and she devoured it. Daryl was glad she was eating, one less thing to worry about, and Bob decided it was time to ask her what happened.

"Carol." Daryl sat on the bed. "What happened? With you and Tom?"

"Tom?" She blinked a few times. "Who's Tom?"

"You don't know who Tom is?" Lilly frowned. "Could amnesia be a side effect?"

"Possibly." Bob waved a flashlight in her eyes, she groaned, and he checked her pulse. "Hershel was smart to give her an IV. I just wish we could run a tox screen. We won't know what this drug is unless we can get Tom to confess."

"Where is Tom?" Lilly scanned the room. "He wasn't in here last night either. He left after Jeremiah."

"Did they leave?" Daryl stood up.

"I doubt it. Ty was at the door all night." Bob turned the flashlight off. "One of you stays with her. Her memory might return." He went over to where Tom and Jeremiah slept, finding their bags, and going through them.

"I'm going to find those boys." Lilly smiled at Carol before walking off.

"Does anyone mind telling me what the hell is going on?" She gazed up at him.

"We don't know yet, but we will soon." He met her eyes. "How're you feelin'?"

"Sluggish, and my head hurts." She slid off the bed and crashed into him when she tried to stand. "I need fresh air. Where are my shoes?"

"No, you need rest." He put her back in bed.

"Rest with me then."

"We ain't gonna rest with you lookin' at me like that." He leaned down and kissed her quickly. "Just focus on recoverin'. I'm gonna check on the Doc."

She waited until he was gone before she got out of bed and stumbled downstairs, nearly falling off the escalators. She made her way outside, because Sasha had been distracted by something Ty said, and she sat down, her back against the building, and she closed her eyes. The sunlight felt good, so did the fresh air. She hugged her legs to her chest, resting her head on her knees, and she drifted off.

––

Lilly found Jeremiah and Beth out cold nearby Judith's stroller. She covered them with a blanket and took Judy back, and she saw Tom. He was asleep on the floor in a shop where he could easily see Beth and Jeremiah. She left him there, carrying Judith back to the others, but she was the only one there. Rick and Michonne were on the roof by now, Glenn, Maggie and Hershel were still in their meeting, Beth was asleep and the kids were somewhere else. This mall was too large, and they should only use one part of it so no one gets lost like this.

She set Judith in her playpen, seeing Bob and Daryl talking. "I'll be back, sweetheart." She smiled at Judy and checked in on Carol, but her bed was empty. She must be in the bathroom. She slept for so long, it's not a surprise. She went around and made the beds, picking up the dirty clothes, and she decided to try to do some laundry. She would wait for Beth and Jeanette. It was quite a bit of laundry, and she would need extra hands.

She picked up a pair of shoes and noticed a flashlight. She walked over to a bed that was suspiciously turned, and behind the headboard were Carl and Lizzie. They curled up with pillows and sharing a blanket with comic books all over the place. She stacked the comics silently and turned the flashlight off. So this's where those two go after dinner to avoid chores. She smiled. They were so cute when they slept, and she left silently so she wouldn't wake them.

"Hey, Lilly." Daryl met her by the jewelry store. "Can you look in on Carol for me?"

"Of course."

He went to find Tom and beat the shit out of him for drugging Carol. Bob came along to see if he had the drug on him and to dispose of it. Daryl kept his eye on him, but Bob seemed to be doing better. Sasha was a frequent guest, and even Daryl could see the attraction.

"There are Beth and Jeremiah," Bob pointed them out.

Daryl shook his head. She was working on another one. Great. If they ever wanted to see a romance novel, all they had to do was look the left. "There's Tom." He walked into the store and kicked Tom in the shin.

"The hell?" He shot up. "What the hell do you want?"

"Get up."

"No. I was sleepin', and I'm goin' back to sleep."

Daryl grabbed his shirt and jerked him up, tossing him against a shelf, causing a bunch of DVDs to fall over onto the floor. "What'd you give Carol?"

"Who?" He kicked a DVD off his shoe. "Oh, the other chick with a great ass."

"Excuse me?" Daryl jerked him forward by the collar of his shirt. "I didn't quite hear that."

"Daryl." Bob cut him a look then crossed his arms. "What did you give Carol the other day? And why?"

He waited until Daryl released him. "We went lookin' for supplies."

"Why you?" Daryl asked.

"Because you had everybody and their mother tryin' to keep her in bed. She asked me because I don't give two shits about what you say. Anyway, on the way down there, she started wincing, so I gave her some medicine. Is that crime?"

"It is when the medicine is drugged."

"Drugged? All I done was give her a little bit. How is it my fault she took the whole damn bottle? It ain't even mind. It's Jeremiah's. His mom was a nurse, and she got that shit when the world went to hell. Ask him." He glared at Daryl. "What? You got a problem?"

"I do." Daryl punched him in the stomach and backed up as he folded and fell on his knees, gasping.

"Was that necessary?" Bob asked.

"Search him when he's done cryin'." He walked over to where Beth and Jeremiah were. "And it was."

"Why was it?"

"Didn't like his face." He shook Jeremiah's shoulder. "Kid, get up."

His eyes snapped open. "Huh? What?"

"C'mon. We needa talk to you."

"Talk? About what?" He rubbed his eye with his free hand, yawning.

"C'mon, don't wanna wake Beth."

"I don't either, but," he tossed the blanket off him, revealing the handcuffs, "she's made it impossible for me to leave."

"Why did she do that?"

"It's a long story that I'm too tired to remember." He ran a hand through his hair. "Do you happen to have the key?"

"No."

"Figures." He sighed. "Well, what did you want to talk 'bout?"

"The medicine you and Tom got. What's in it?"

"Medicine? Oh, do you need some? I have some that my mother took before the hospital was overrun."

"No. You gave Tom some morphine with a little extra in it. What was it?"

"Morphine?" He paled. "Did it have a blue label?"

"Yeah."

"Shit. That was Silas's bottle. He used it on...people. It contains ricin. It's a poison."

"What?" Daryl exclaimed, waking Beth. "Son of a bitch. How much is a lethal dosage?"

"I—I don't remember." He thought hard, because the look on Daryl's face was a great motivator. "I think 1.78 mg for an average adult. I doubt she got that much."

"Well, I have some good news." Bob approached them, holding a bottle of morphine. "This one's clean, and this is the bottle that Carol got the first injection from. If we get lucky, Carol didn't give herself very much of it."

"Carol?" Beth frowned. "What's goin' on?"

"We needa talk to her. You...both are comin' with us. C'mon." Daryl hurried back to her, Bob wondered by Beth and Jeremiah were handcuffed together, and Beth was really regretting ever handcuffing them, because she was exhausted, and they were all running.

Daryl ran, his heart racing faster than it ever had. He had to hurry. He couldn't be too late, not with something like this. Please, don't let him be too late.

Lilly jumped back as Daryl, Jeremiah, Beth and Bob ran by her. "What the hell's going on?"

Daryl froze at the sight of Carol's empty bed. "Where is she?" He turned to Lilly.

"I—I don't know. I was cleaning up, and I thought she'd used the bathroom, cleaned herself up. I guess I got caught up in cleaning." She looked their faces. "Why? What's going on?"

"We need to find her," Bob told Daryl. "Beth and Jeremiah, go to the other end and if you find her, bring her back. I'll look here with Lilly. Daryl, get Sasha and Ty to look downstairs."

He bolted down the stairs and shouted at Ty and Sasha, getting out his flashlight. He quickly filled them in, Ty was reluctant to help, but Sasha made him see what was right, and he agreed only because he respected Daryl, and he knew Carol was very important to him. They were closer than best friends, and Ty had to put his own feelings for her aside. This was important to Daryl, and Ty had to help him out. He respected him and liked too much not to.

Daryl looked was looking through the other end of the store when Rick and Michonne came to help. They told him Maggie and Glenn were checking the basement, and he glad more people were looking. It would make this easier. He hoped she hadn't injected herself with too much. If she had... The thought of her actually being dead frightened him. He didn't want to find a walker. He was so tired of finding the ones he loved as walkers.

But as they searched every store, closet, crawl space, Daryl was coming to terms with finding Carol dead. And when night fell, everyone was looking for her, carrying more than just a flashlight. Lizzie and Carl were in charge of watching—and protecting—the younger kids, though both of them wanted to help look. Beth was still stuck to Jeremiah, and they needed everyone. Lizzie and Carl were still sluggish from staying up all night reading comics with a flashlight.

Everyone gathered on the bottom floor to talk, Daryl knew they were considering locking up the bedroom to make sure walker Carol didn't stumble in and turn more of them like Patrick. He drifted away from them and dragged his hands through his hair, taking in a rough breath. His heart felt so heavy, and he couldn't believe this was happening. He kept hoping he would find her like he had before, dehydrated and holding on for him, but that doesn't happen twice. Carol should've been dead a thousand times over, and it finally happened, didn't it?

He inhaled and exhaled deeply, his angry rising, and he wanted to beat both Tom and Jeremiah to a bloody pulp, but neither of them was at fault. It was Silas, and that bastard was long gone. He needed to get out of there before he hurt one of them, and he stormed outside, finding a couple of walkers in the parking lot. He unsheathed his knife and thrusted the blade into their skulls, letting off steam. He lunged at one that was on the ground and stopped, seeing a familiar blue top. It was bloody and torn, and he lifted it up, finding a small walker underneath with no legs.

He exhaled in relief and killed it. He replaced his knife, but he didn't feel better. He didn't feel anything, but a hole inside. He turned and his eyes settled on a figure stumbling toward him. Damn walkers. He removed his crossbow and took aim.

"Look out!" Rick shouted at Daryl.

Daryl turned and found a walker closing in on him. He shot it, it fell to the ground with a thud, and Rick had taken out the other walker. He grabbed the bolt and headed toward the door, flicking the bolt mostly clean.

"What the hell were you thinkin'?" Rick demanded. "You coulda got bit. Or worse."

"I'm fine, ain't I?" He glared.

"Only just. You—"

"Shh." Daryl held his hand up. "You hear that?"

Rick listened. "More walkers."

"Down there. I'll get it. It's too close to the door." He silently hurried over to it, and he turned on his flashlight, coming to a halt. "The hell?" He stared at the pile of dead walkers in the corner and narrowed his eyes. They weren't shot, he could see that much. He kicked out of his way, and it kicked back. He saw the grabby hand in the middle of the pile and saw the head. He stabbed it and shook his head, turning.

He headed back inside then stopped and glanced back. What if Carol was in that pile? He had to know, one way or another. He took a step forward, but his mind wasn't compiling.

A hand grabbed his ankle, he jumped back and was about to bash in the walker's head when he found Carol curled up in between a trashcan and the bench. He stared at her. She wasn't bleeding or bitten or dead. She just looked tired.

He put his knife away and scooped her up. He carried her inside.

_Nine lives, remember?_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**


	17. Time To Think

Everyone was upstairs, and he took her to the food court, setting her down gently on the tables they were pushed together. Hershel came over to them. Hershel had told him that when he found Carol, he would be in the food court to look her over as best he could. He didn't want to disturb anyone since it was so late, and Carol fell asleep again.

"She has a strong pulse," Hershel told him. "She doesn't seem to be ill, so she probably only gave herself a small dose. Her ankle's healing nicely."

He nodded.

"She'll to yell at you about your relationship another day."

"What?" The tips of his ears went red. "We—we ain't—"

Hershel gave him a knowing look then stood up. "Be gentle with her and let her rest."

"Is it that obvious?" Daryl asked.

"Not to everyone, but after raising two girls, I know what it looks like. And I'm very observant."

"Bet you are."

"Someone has to be." He headed back.

"He's sweet." Carol rolled over and opened her eyes. "I doubt he'll hurt her."

"Fakin' sleep?"

She smiled and sat up. She had to apologize for what she said to him. She felt bad, and she didn't mean to take her anger out on him. After so many months of really being by herself, having someone care about her and forcing her to care about herself, it was a system shock. She'd rather protect others and forget she ever existed. "Da—"

"We should get you to bed. You need to rest up, and we'll talk in the morning."

"No, wait, pleas." She met his eyes. "I owe you an apology."

"Don't worry 'bout it. Just go to bed."

"I'm sorry for what I said. You're nothing like Ed. I'm being horrible to you, and I shouldn't be. I'm grateful for you, Daryl. I really am. You mean a lot to me."

His heart began to race. "You mean a lot to me too."

She stood up, wrapped her arms around his neck, but only hugged him. "Thank you for coming back for me all of those times and tonight as well."

"I protect my family." He set a hand on the back of her head. "You gotta protect yourself too, Carol. We need you."

She buried her face in his shoulder. "I will." She could swear he saw into her soul, and it scared her more than any herd of walkers. "I love you, Daryl." She held him tightly.

He smiled and slid his arm around her waist. "Me too." He lifted her chin up and kissed her.

Michonne and Tyreese were on watch, and they didn't see him when he came to make sure Beth and Jeremiah hadn't snuck out again. But he **saw**. He saw Carol and Daryl talking then hugging and kissing. He now understood why Daryl wanted her around and lost all respect for him. Especially later, when they hadn't come back until Rick and Glenn relieved Ty and Michonne.

– – –

"Just a little from the bottom," Carol told them in the morning. "It's the last time I take any medication, I assure you."

Daryl hid his amused smile, but Ty saw it.

"What's so funny?" Ty asked, almost glaring.

"Nothin'." He pushed off the bed frame. "Y'all got any more of this shit?"

"No." Jeremiah shook his head. "I thought I'd gotten rid of it, but I guess Silas kept more than one. I'm so sorry. It won't happen again. I take full responsibility."

"Good kid." Tom slapped his back. "She seems fine, so we good?"

"Not even close." Maggie held the bottle. "Why did you have this bottle on you? You aren't wounded."

"Just in case." He glanced at Daryl. "Not everyone is stable in your group."

"Shut the hell up," Daryl growled.

They argued for a few more minutes, Hershel sent Tom to the lounge, and they council spoke. Carol was waved over by Lizzie, and Beth and Jeremiah went to check on the kids. They all wanted Tom out of the mall, but they still didn't know if he was a part of Randall's group or not. They didn't want to risk it, and with their decision to stay at the mall, it would be more than an inconvenience. They needed to deal with him before he put anyone else at risk, and Daryl had a plan.

Ty hoped once Tom was out of the way, they would deal with the other issue in their group.

––

"What is it?" Carol asked Lizzie.

"I need your help."

"All right. Where's your gun?"

"Not with weapons, it's...something else. It's important, and you're the only one I can trust."

"Okay. What do you need help with?"

Lizzie didn't tell her everything, but Carol filled in the blankets. Carol talked to her as they found what they needed, and she helped Lizzie get ready. It was going to be a really good night for Lizzie or a really awkward one. Carol hoped it worked out, but if it didn't, there was always the chance of it working out when everyone else died of natural causes or walkers. It's a horrible thought, but it is true.

Carol put away what they didn't use, and she glanced over as Lizzie left, smiling. Lizzie walked to the back of the massive bedroom, the others were on their way to the food court, but she'd found a note from Carl asking her to meet him behind the bed with the huge headboard. They'd met there a few times to talk. She felt confident after her talk with Carol. She'd changed into a cute blue dress and let her hair down, but she still had her gun on her. It was hard to find a place it put it, but since she found all of the holsters, she found one that fit on her thigh. It was uncomfortable though.

She glanced behind her, and everyone was gone. She saw the tip of Carl's shoes and stepped behind the bed, but it wasn't Carl.

"Hey there, Liz." He smiled and stood up. "You look so cute. How are you?"

"I'm fine. What are you doing here? Carl's supposed to meet me here."

"I see. I'll just go then."

They switched places, he stopped and turned to her, and she met his eyes, seeing something pass through them that she'd only see with Maggie and Glenn, sometimes Carol and Daryl. It made her worry.

"One more thing before I go." He reached over and touched her hair, moving his hand down toward her chest, rubbing his thumb over her nipple, and she shot back. "Shh, it's okay." He lowered himself down on his knees, and her heart began to race. "Darlin', I ain't gonna hurt you."

"Don't touch me." She looked for an exit, her body screaming at her to run, but he was blocking the exit.

He smiled. "You got all dressed up for Carl?"

She didn't reply.

"Close those pretty eyes and pretend I'm Carl then." He caressed her cheek, bringing her closer, his intentions were perfectly clear, as was the bulge pressing against his pants, and she grabbed her gun and shot him in the head.

"Lizzie!" Carl ran over to her, having come to check and see if she was coming to dinner. "Lizzie."

She stepped over Tom's body, Carl pulled her behind him as the Rick and Daryl rushed back. Carol, having still been in the clothes store and upon hearing the gun fire came out, went to Lizzie and saw blood on the dress she'd had helped her pick. Carol cupped her chin, and Lizzie was trembling, but she managed to tell them what happened.

"Carl—he asked me to meet him here." She stared at his body, Daryl bent down beside her so she couldn't look at it, and she met his eyes. "He was gonna leave, but he didn't. He...touched me. I—I thought it was Carl who wrote the note. He was supposed to meet me." She began to cry and Carol held her tightly.

"That son of a bitch," Rick growled.

"Somebody get Jeremiah," Daryl hissed, stalking off toward the food court. "I'm gonna kill his ass!"

"Me?" Carl turned. "I wasn't supposed to meet her."

"You didn't write the note?" Carol asked.

"No. Well, I wrote a note, but I asked her to sit by me at dinner." He turned to her. "I—I'm sorry. I should've just asked."

"It's not your fault, Carl. I—I should check on them." Rick headed to the food court.

"You're safe, Lizzie." Carol smoothed her hair down. "He's dead."

She nodded and wiped her eyes, wheezing.

"Hey, you did good," Carl told her, setting a tentative hand on her shoulder. "You did good."

She met his eyes and nodded.

"Lizzie, honey, where did touch you?" Carol asked softly. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

She set a hand over her chest. "Just here."

She nodded. "You did well. I'm so proud of you." She kissed the top of her head.

"Me too." Carl offered her a smile. "You did what you had to do to protect yourself, don't be sorry."

She nodded.

A gun shot rang out, they all flinched, and Rick ran to the food court, finding Daryl being held back by Ty and Glenn as Maggie and Beth protected Jeremiah. Lilly had the others away from them and the gun was lying on the ground.

"Lemme go!" Daryl roared. "Assholes are all rapists! Tom put his hands on Lizzie! You lemme go!"

"What?" Beth exclaimed, backing away, holding Maggie's arm.

"Lizzie? Oh, God." Maggie asked Daryl. "Did he?"

"Almost. Lizzie shot him." He struggled to get free. "Somebody kill him! Shoulda killed your ass from the start!"

Maggie exhaled, so glad Tom didn't rape her, and Beth was relieved as well, sending Jeremiah a venomous glower, wanting to rip out his penis and feed it to him after she tortured him. After all that bullshit he told her... These bastards had done enough damage. Two of them are dead, and he needs to join them.

Rick walked over to Jeremiah, but Carl beat him to it, holding his gun out, his eyes hardened, his body locked in place. Rick tensed up, but Carl didn't pull the trigger.

"Did you know?" Carl demanded.

"Know?" He'd been scared for his life when Daryl came at him like a bull, shouting incoherently at him. He wasn't sure what to he was supposed to know, but he caught what Tom did. He didn't reply. He felt sick to his stomach at his failure.

"Are you one too?" Daryl demanded, still trying to get free. "Are you one too!"

"N—no! No! I'm not. I swear to God I'm not." He was shaking inside, and he wanted to be sick. "I—I tried to stop him. I—I tried to make him stop. You are good people, and you was more than nice to us. I kept on him to stop plannin', and he told me was gonna. Said it wasn't worth it."

"You knew?" Rick stared. "You knew, and you didn't tell us?"

"I thought he wasn't gonna do it! I didn't even know who he was talkin' 'bout! I'm so sorry! If I knew, I woulda told y'all! If I knew, I woulda." He began to cry, Carl kept his gun aimed at him, and he fell to his knees. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. People talk shit, I thought he was. I didn't know what he was capable of. God, what did I cause?" He curled up. "Why did I let this happen?"

Rick wasn't sure what to think, Beth, who had always liked him, pulled Maggie away toward the food, because the others needed to eat. Sasha and Michonne grabbed Jeremiah up and bound him to a chair, Ty released Daryl, and Carl kept his eye on him, his gun holstered.

"Daryl." Carol stood in the distance with Lizzie behind her.

He went over to them. "She all right?"

"Shaken, but she'll be fine. Could you bring her a plate of food and some water? I can't leave her. Please."

"'Course." He looked over at her. "It's all right."

"What are you going to do with him?" Her eyes were locked on Jeremiah.

"Don't know yet, but he ain't gonna get at you. I promise."

She looked away. "Carl's watching him?"

"Guess so."

"Then I'm not worried." She rubbed her arms. "I'm going to bed. I'm not hungry." She turned on her heel and left, going to where her clothes were to change. She heard someone behind her, and she grabbed her gun, but it was Carl. She turned around and she was completely stunned when he leaned over and kissed her.

He blushed nervously. "That's why I wrote my note." He smiled.

She blushed.

"I'm gonna watch him. No one will get at you. You got me and Daryl watching him, and Carol will stay with you, okay?"

"Okay." She smiled.

He nodded and walked away, going to keep watch.

She touched her lips and smiled even more.

Carol stepped out from behind the poster and shook her head, trying not to smile. She waited for her, and they returned to the bedroom, Sasha and Michonne had removed the body, leaving Lilly to clean up the blood of her own deciding.

"Let me help."

"No, it's fine. I'm done now." She stood up and met Carol's eyes. "I'm going after her. You can't stop me. It's been a week, and no one's made a move. I'm going as soon as the sun rises."

"No, you ain't." Daryl came up behind Carol. "Beth, Carol and me is gonna go look for her. We're dropping Jeremiah off on the way."

Her eyes burned. "Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded, his hand curling around Carol's forearm. "Go eat." He pulled Carol to him. "Lizzie's askin' for you."

"Right." She tried to leave, but he stopped her. "What?"

"You and me gotta talk. Beth's gonna be with Liz tonight, so meet me in the lounge." He released her and left. He was stopped by Tyreese on the way. "Worried 'bout Sasha?"

"We got rapists and murderers in the group. Of course I'm worried."

He narrowed his eyes. "You still pissed 'bout Carol? It's been seven months. You gotta move on."

He scoffed. "She that good?"

"What'd you say?" Daryl growled.

"I saw you two the other night. No woman is ever worth throwing away what's right."

"Man, you ain't gonna touch her." Daryl got in his face. "She's in this group. You best get used to that."

He scoffed and pushed by him.

Daryl shook his head and headed back to food court. The group was broken again. With all of this going on, there was no way to repair them. Something had to change, and no another death. He wasn't sure if he could handle another one.

––

Carol left only after Lizzie was sound asleep, Daryl stood up when she walked over to him, and she had done a lot of thinking of her own, and she needed to tell him her conclusion. She offered him a warm smile, he felt oddly worried about the look on her face, like she'd done something she shouldn't have done.

"Took you a while. Lizzie okay?"

"Yes. She's resting, and Beth's with her now." She crossed her arm. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah." He stepped closer. "Shit's gotten confused between us, and after the other night and what we said and what happened..."

She nodded, telling him to go on silently.

"I don't wanna continue this relationship," he told her. "At least not the way we're doin' it. If we're gonna do this, I wanna do it right."

"Daryl." It wasn't the way he had hoped she'd say his name, and having heard every way she could say his name, he knew this wasn't going to end well. "I was hoping we'd have this talk, but obviously we're not on the same page. We have...issues here, and I think it'd best if we just go on as if nothing happened."

"What?" he exclaimed.

"It's for the best." She felt horrible, and she had to leave. She had to leave now.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back when she tried to leave. "You don't get to make that decision. There are two people here."

"And one of them wants to leave." She pulled her wrist back. "I need time. Time to think and reevaluate...everything, including us, and I can't do that if I'm with you."

"You can't just—"

"I'm not saying this is the end," she whispered. "I'm just saying I need time to think."

"Think 'bout what?"

She took a deep breath and met his eyes. "The last relationship I was in, I was verbally abused, beaten and lost both him and my daughter. I never want to relive that, and I'm scared that if...we do become more, if we finalize it, I'll lose you too. I told you once already, I can't lose you."

"You ain't gonna lose me." He tried to touch her, but she stepped back. "Carol—"

"Don't. I need time. I'm sorry." She turned and walked away, trying not to cry.


	18. Dixon Charm

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Beth noticed the awkward almost miserable word exchanges between Carol and Daryl. She wondered what had happened between them, but when she asked them both if everything was all right, they both replied with "Of course" which really meant "Mind your own business". She was worried about them, but she had to keep her eyes forward, especially with Jeremiah present. She still had a hard time believing he was capable of...rape. Tom and Silas obviously were, but there was something innocent about him. She wouldn't let herself be deceived.

"Let me." He helped her lift a bag into the trunk and immediately backed away. "I'll er, be in the back." He climbed into the car.

Carol paused before stepping outside, Beth was chewing her bottom lip, and Carol knew it had to do with Jeremiah. Everyone was issues with their relationships, both friendly and romantic. She heard Daryl coming and set the bag of guns in the back, handing Beth a handgun.

Beth moved quickly to the backseat before Carol could, and Carol sighed softly, walking over to the passenger seat. She was not in the mood for Beth's little matchmaking games. It was tense enough between her and Daryl without Beth adding to it.

Daryl spoke to Rick before he joined the others in the car, it was silent as the grave, and they hadn't even pulled out yet. Beth thought of a song that might lighten to the mood, and she wanted to ask if Jeremiah knew any, but she didn't want to be fed anymore lies. She didn't want to consider the possibility of him being innocent. It was far less complicated if he was just like them. It wasn't right to put him in the same category, but they had no way of knowing if what he's telling them is the truth.

She crossed her legs and noticed that Daryl would occasionally look over at Carol, but Carol's eyes were glued to the outside world. She glanced over at Jeremiah, and he was picking at a hole in his jeans. He lifted his head when Beth didn't look away. He searched her eyes then dropped his eyes, sitting back and gazing out the window. He would accept whatever they did to him. He deserved it. He should've told them what Tom was planning. At least the little girl wasn't hurt, and he was glad to have them out of this world. No one else could be hurt by them. As much as Jeremiah loved his family, Silas was not a part of his family. He was a half-brother that showed up a few weeks before this shit went down. Everything happens for a reason, right?

He ran a hand through his hair. If he was going to die, he was glad it was alone. No one would mourn him, no one would bury him, and no one would miss him. There was enough pain in this world, and he didn't want to cause anyone any more pain. So many people have suffered, and he wasn't worth adding to that weight. Silent and alone, that's how he wanted to go out. No one had to understand, and that gave him more joy than anything had since the new planet Earth.

– – –

The silence hung in the air when Daryl pulled over to siphon gas, Carol got out, spotting for him, but before they left, Daryl cuffed Jeremiah to seat in front of him. He was glad he had long arms, otherwise it might be uncomfortable.

"Take your time." Carol walked by him as he checked one of the cars. She looked through one of the cars and found a small to-go bathroom kit. It had a toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, a small bottle of mouthwash and surprisingly enough condoms. She found it was all untouched, the tag hadn't even been removed, and she kept it, tossing out the toothbrush and toothpaste. Dental hygiene was important.

Daryl glanced over as Carol leaned into a car and dug through a duffel bag. He chewed his lower lip and went back to his work. He didn't let his mind wander.

"Are you as bored as I am?" Jeremiah asked. "I figured being taken to a new location would be kinda fun, not...painful. It isn't even physically painful. I'd rather Daryl punch me to death than get back in this car and drive for another four hour without a single word spoken."

"Everyone's got issues." She rested her hands on her knees. "And it ain't meant to be peaceful for you."

"Right, 'cause I'm a rapist. I like gingers with big teeth and braces. It's sexy, you know?" He smiled at her attempt to not smile.

"You're an asshole." She turned her head away.

"I accept that." He groaned as he adjusted his legs.

"I sense your pain." She opened her door and swung her legs out. "Oh, I missed the sun." She slid out and stretched. "Mmm."

"You're evil."

"Only to you." She closed the door and started walk away when he called to her. "What?"

"Please, my legs hurt like hell."

She rubbed the base of her neck. "Daryl will kill me."

"Cuff me to the door, please. I need to stretch. I'm taller than you, and I don't have any leg room."

"Oh, you whimp."

"I also have to pee."

She sighed and walked over to his side of the car, unlocking the door. "I'll shoot you between the eyes, if I think you're gonna run."

"I won't. Scouts honor."

She removed of the handcuffs. "You were a Boy Scout?"

"Four years. My dad was the leader." He rubbed his wrist on his jeans. "Damn, those were tight."

"Kinda the point." She cuffed his wrist again and undid the other, cuffing it to her wrist. "Let's go."

"You gotta be kiddin' me. Beth, no. I—I'll go behind one of the cars, but you need to be far away."

"I didn't think you were shy."

"Beth, this isn't about shy. It's weird."

"Get out of the car or pee into a bottle." She tugged on the cuffs. "C'mon."

"Dear God." He climbed out of the car and groaned. "I feel so old." He rubbed his knees. "This feels good. Thank you." He stretched and popped his back, neck and fingers.

"Are you done yet?"

"I've been cramped up in that small space for four hours, and I slept in a chair. I'm sorry I'm stiff." He looked over at the woods then at her. "Why don't you cuff me to a tree? Or that window? The glass is knocked out. Anything but you."

"You ain't even supposed to be out of the car, so shut up and go behind that tree.

"If I die of embarrassment, you'll be sorry."

"What is your issue with this? Are you...small?" she mused.

"Aren't you cute?" He smirked. "You'd understand if I was askin' you to use the bathroom cuffed to me."

"That ain't happenin'. I'm a girl, you're a guy. You were born to pee standin' up. Now shut up." She led him to the trees, hand on her gun. "I won't peek." She covered her eyes with a hand. "Scouts honor."

"So funny," he grumbled, moving as far away as he could.

She hummed loudly so she didn't hear anything, but curiosity got the better of her, and she glanced over when he was done urinating and was...adjusting himself.

"Jesus!" He turned, and she blushed. "Scouts honor my ass. I knew you were lying."

"Let's get back."

They headed back to the car, Daryl and Carol were further away, but it was peaceful, and there weren't any walkers. Beth let Jeremiah walk around a bit, but both of them were still pink in the face. That was the last thing Beth had ever expected to do or see on this little trip. It was especially awkward since she'd never... And with Daddy and Maggie right down the hall at the prison, she and Zack never...and that was the first time she'd ever... Oh, boy.

"I would make a joke to lighten the mood, but I don't have any." He peered over at her. "Well, I have lame ones."

"Go for it." They can't make this any more uncomfortable.

"I got a joke about a toilet." She looked over. "No, it's too dirty."

"What?" She laughed. "That's so dumb."

"I have one about pizza too. Nah, it's way too cheesy."

"I know what you was like in high school." She shook her head.

He turned so that he was in front of her, his free hand by her shoulder on the car. "You think you know me?"

"I think I do."

"Okay." He pursed his lips. "Alright. Why can't a nose be twelve inches?"

"Why?"

"'Cause then it's a foot."

She stared at him then finally giggled. "That's so lame. I love it."

He smiled. "I'm glad. Left my pun book at the mall. I'm gonna miss it."

"Are you one of them?" she whispered.

"No, but it don't matter. Your people made their decision, and I'll stand by it." He looked up and squinted into the sunlight. "Looks like it'll be a nice night."

"How can I believe you?" She studied the design on his black shirt. "Tom had...a bad vibe to him, and Silas was obviously a complete asshole, but you...ain't and don't. Why is that?"

"I'm the awkward kid who happened to play baseball all the time. I wasn't popular in high school, even though I was on the team and just about everyone knew my name. I spent my lunches in the bathroom, and I spent break in library, working my ass off so I didn't fail. Who I am is someone stuck in the background and happy to stay that way."

"You didn't try to stop them?"

"I did. On many occasions, but we ran out of medical supplies, and I couldn't afford to get shot anymore."

"What?" She met his eyes. "They shot you?"

"In the end...when I stopped going out, Silas had stopped, but Tom... He was sneaky, managed to hide it from me for months, and when I found...one of them. She was a teenager, younger than us, and she was barely alive. They'd beaten her...and there was blood everywhere. I confronted them, but I'm not much of a threat alone. Tom broke my wrist, and when I tried to leave them, Silas shot me in the back. Twice for good measure. Some brother." He dropped his head. "Thank God for passing out of blood loss."

"God...are you serious?"

"No, I'm lying to make you believe I'm a good guy." The humor didn't meet his eyes.

"Let me see."

"Oh, Beth, I don't know you well enough to get naked for you, and I think you've seen enough of me for today."

"Is that what you meant 'bout nobody leavin' Silas?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

"Don't be. I don't want pity. I don't want anything." He leaned back against the car. "I just want to leave, like smoke on the breeze."

"Why?"

"Because that's how it was meant to be." He glared at her. "I need to die."

"Survivor's guilt is eatin' the shit out of you, isn't it?"

"I don't have survivor's guilt. I don't feel anything. Love, hate, anger, pain—nothing. This is what this world has done to me, and I will not let it ruin me any further." He dropped down on the ground, holding his hand up so Beth didn't get yanked down. "You have so much to live for, you wouldn't understand."

"Yes, I would—"

He shot up, grabbing her shoulders, causing her to jolt. "What did you just say?"

"I—"

"We are nothin' alike, Beth." Such anger and pain swirled in his big green eyes. "You got everything to live for! Family, friends, that baby, and I have nobody. No, listen to me. Nobody. You can't imagine what that feels like. When you roll over in bed at night, there's always someone there. But me? I roll over and see darkness, emptiness. You have no idea what that feels like."

"Hey!" Daryl thrusted the gas can at Carol and ran over to them, pushing him back against the car. "The hell you doin' out here? Beth?"

"I—He had to pee."

He removed the cuff from her wrist and shoved him back toward the car. He cuffed him to the door this time, Carol filled the gas tank, and Beth kept seeing the look in Jeremiah's eyes. He wasn't a rapist, but he was suicidal. She had never seen anyone look like that. It made her chest ache. He put on such a show, but he was dying slowly each morning he woke up. She needed to get through to him, give him something to live for, but what was there for him? He had nobody, and if he lost anyone else, he would probably kill himself. God, help him. Help us both.

"What were you thinking?" Carol asked Beth.

"He had to pee, stretch his legs, so I let him. We got to talkin', and I know he ain't a rapist. What he is may be more dangerous. I think he's hurtin' himself."

"I didn't know suicide was contagious," Daryl murmured.

"Let's just take him back with us. Please."

"No. I ain't riskin' him forcin' himself on one of y'all, and I sure as hell ain't riskin' him offin' himself and comin' back to kill us all in the night."

"Then I'm goin' with him."

"What?" Carol shook her head. "Beth, you don't even know him."

"I know him well enough, and he needs somebody. I can be somebody." She glanced between them.

"No, Maggie and Hershel would die if you left. Jeremiah's a big boy. He can handle himself. You can't protect everyone," Carol argued.

"He ain't everyone! He's just one guy!" Beth wanted to scream. She turned to Daryl. "How can **_you_** be so insensitive? You tried to save Merle. Merle! Rick tried to save Shane! All I want to do is help him! Like you want to help Carol."

"What?" Daryl narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh, please, it's so obvious. You two were screwin' for months, and now that everyone's back together, you're both pullin' away. You probably don't even realize it. Carol's scared of who she was and who she might be, and Daryl, you want the old Carol back, but you don't want an actual relationship, because you're scared you might lose her for real this time. You're both not ready for that, and if you are, you're too damn afraid to tell each other. At least I know what I feel and know why I'm doin' what I'm doin'. What's your excuse?" She pushed by them and got into the car, fuming.

They stood there a minute, Carol glanced at Daryl then turned and got into the car, and Daryl followed. The tension was even worse, Beth felt a little better, and Jeremiah wondered just what happened from the time Daryl handcuffed to when they got back in the car. Why did he get the feeling it wasn't going to end well for any of them?

That night they stayed in a small cottage, Daryl caught some fish while Carol and Beth prepared a fire, and Jeremiah was upstairs in the dark cuffed to a bedpost. Beth got firewood from the shed and saw just how much Daryl and Carol weren't looking or talking to her. She didn't mean to upset them, but it was the truth. Did they want her to lie? Lies and secrets got people killed, and she sick of them both.

"You still pissed at me?" Beth adjusted a log as Carol tended to the fish Daryl had caught.

"No. I was never mad. It's hard to be angry at the truth." She wiped the knife on the washcloth on her leg. "So, you like this boy?"

"Not in that way." She lit an oil lantern and set it on the coffee table.

"Uh-huh." She glanced over as Daryl walked back inside, setting more fish down. "Thank you."

He didn't reply, just went outside to keep watch.

"Now he's still pissed, but at both of us." She shook her head. "Don't worry about him. He'll come around."

"I don't think so." She met Carol's eyes. "He loves you."

"I know." She kept her voice low, almost as if she didn't want to hear it.

"No, Carol, he **_loves_** you." She rubbed her arms. "The way he looks at you...is the way I want a man to look at me. It ain't sexual need, but it's just as fierce. He's changed so much, and you're the cause of that. Back at the farm...with Sophia...you brought him back. He let you in, and you need to do the same for him. Daryl has enough reasons t—"

"You know him so well, why don't you go and talk to him?" She slammed the baking pan down and went to the kitchen to get another one. She gripped the pan tightly and took a deep breath before going back to the living room.

Beth smirked.

"What?" Carol pushed the heads of the fish into a bag.

"You got jealous."

"Excuse me?" Her eyes flickered to Beth's. "Jealous?"

"Of me and Daryl. Our relationship." She stood up. "Do you think you're the only one close to him? You were gone five months. Five very long months, and I replaced you. Yes, I replaced you. Look at me, damn it!" Beth grabbed the pan. "For five months, I watched the torturous looks on Daryl's face when anyone brought up your name. I watched him slowly die with all of the "what ifs" and I tried to be there for him, but you left a scar! You are the biggest scar on his body, and you aren't helping it to heal by pushin' him away. You can't do what you've done and walk away."

"And what have I done?" Carol's eyes went cold. "You're a child. Don't talk to me like you're an adult. You're the little princess in this world. You sit, eat, tend to a baby—I've been piling on the losses, and you don't know half of what I've been through. I am not the Carol you knew. I think it's time you came to terms with that."

She took a deep breath. "Fine. Be a loner. I'm gonna check on Jeremiah. At least he **_honestly_** wants to die." She grabbed a blanket, the lantern and padded up the stairs. She found him shuddering on the floor, and she wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. "I'm sorry. Daryl can be cruel."

"Not as cruel as you. I overheard you and Carol."

"It's a family fight. It happens." She rubbed his arm. "You look so cold."

"I'm fine. I can't feel my toes, but I'm fine. I've been through cold, and I'm all right with it." He tugged the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "How about you?"

"It's better when you're in front of the fireplace, which we're not."

"C'mere then." He lifted his arm. "I won't cop a feel. I promise."

She curled up against him. "You're warm."

"Got a lot of body heat. I wish I retained it more." He sniffed then inhaled deeply. "Is that fish?"

"Daryl caught 'bout ten. I'll bring you some up when it's done." She pulled her legs in, her legs resting against his under the blanket. "I'm gonna take you back with us."

"What?"

"You don't deserve to die. You haven't done anything wrong, and I'll make the others see that."

"Why do I find myself around persistent women?" He shook his head. "Do what you want."

"I intend to." She rested her head on his shoulder. "What songs did you used to listen to?"

"We'll be here for years," he laughed.

"Tell me. I wanna know."

He laughed against, she liked the way it felt against her cheek, and he began to list off his favorite music artists then his top ten favorite songs by them. It was nice to have a conversation that wasn't heavy, and they were both laughing. Beth was glad to have a distraction from her nightmares, and Jeremiah was grateful for the non-hostile company. They had a lot in common, but that wasn't always a good thing.

––

"Where's Beth?" Daryl scanned the room.

"Talking to Jeremiah." She set the second baking pan on the makeshift grill. "It shouldn't be long now."

"Why's she so determined?" He sat down beside her.

"What else does she have to do? With Judith and the kids miles away, Jeremiah and our relationship are the only things occupying her mind." She added seasoning. "Thank you for going fishing."

"What else we got to eat?" He poked at the fire with the short, but thick stick he'd found outside. "It's clear out there. No walkers yet."

"It's really nice." She closed her eyes. "Listening to the fire, hearing the crickets—the sounds of night. I miss them."

He looked over at her. She looked so beautiful, the golden light of the fire accentuated her features, and he wanted it to be like before. Part of him did anyway, but another part wanted to talk to her. Had to talk to her. "What are we gonna do 'bout us? I know you need time and space and shit, but we gotta talk 'bout it. You ain't the only one here."

She opened her eyes. "I do want a relationship with you, more than just friendship, because the way I love you is anything but friendly."

"But?"

"But I don't know how to do this anymore." She took a calming breath as the tears built up in her eyes. "We've both changed, and yours were for the better, but...I screwed up, like I always do."

"You didn't screw up." He tried to touch her, to comfort her, but she moved away.

"Please, don't touch me." She wiped her nose with her sleeve. "I can't keep my resolve with you touching me."

He frowned. "Why'd you think you screwed up?"

"I know why I killed Karen and David. They were a threat, and that threat got bigger than I ever thought it would." She wiped at the tears that fell. "I spared them from drowning in their own blood and turning. They would've turned by the time you and the others returned. Isolating them didn't do a bit of good, and I had hoped killing them—killing the virus would. I was wrong, so very wrong."

"It wasn't your fault."

"We nearly lost Glenn and Lizzie and Hershel, and all of the people we did lose... God. Why do we keep fighting? If it's not walkers or bandits, it's diseases. I—I don't know how we do this." She curled up and began to sob, he moved beside her and pulled her into his arms, and she didn't struggle. "Why am I alive?"

He rubbed her back gently. "Don't."

"Honestly, why am I alive? My daughter is dead, most of my friends are dead, and my husband is dead. Eventually everyone I love will die. I almost died so many times, so why am I here now? I don't understand." She buried her face in his neck. "Mika's dead, and Lizzie can handle herself, so what's my purpose now?"

He swallowed hard and kissed her temple. "You."

"What?"

"We've all struggled, tryin' to find somethin', someone, to survive for. I struggled with it for a long time, and when I lost hope...I looked to you." She sniffed softly, and he lightly stroked the flesh of her shoulder. "After Sophia and Merle...you was my hope. I made a promise to keep you alive, and I will."

"What?" She slid back in his lap and met his eyes. "What did you just say?"

He reached out and wiped away her tears. "I'll be your reason until you find somethin' you want to survive for. We can be each other's reason."

"Daryl." Her eyes burned. That held more meaning to her than I love you. She smiled and cupped his cheek. Why couldn't she see the beautiful man in front of her? How blind was she? "I'm so lucky."

"Why?" He searched her eyes.

"Because, Pookie, God gave me you." She leaned over and kissed him. It was slow and controlled, because she still needed time to think. She had missed how it was before the prison fell, when they could just lie in bed for hours, talking and laughing. It seemed so rare for them to laugh now. She would savor those rare moments, because every moment she had with Daryl was rare. Tomorrow they could be dead, and it would be death by walkers, natural causes or by the living. She would think, but she would close the distance between them as well.

Daryl held her until the fish was fully cooked, he found some plates, and he let Jeremiah come downstairs for the food and warmth, but he cuffed him to rocking chair by the fire. They ate in silence, Beth and Jeremiah sat together, Carol sat away from Daryl, but somehow still close to him. They all ate until they wanted to puke, Jeremiah devoured three plates along with Daryl, but the girls only had two plates. Carol had cut the fish in half, so there were twenty halves they had to eat tonight. Daryl and Jeremiah ate five and a half pieces of fish each, Carol and Beth are four and a half.

They were all full and exhausted, Carol was keeping first watch, Daryl lied down on the couch so she didn't have to go far to find him for his watch, and Beth went upstairs with Jeremiah. He helped her build a fire in the fireplace in the master bedroom then went to the room he was before and cuffed himself to the bedpost, lying on the bed this time, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets he couldn't get out of with only one hand. He fell asleep fair quickly, no longer hearing Beth toss and turn down the hall. He always slept better knowing someone else was sleeping easy.


	19. Lifehouse

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

When it was time for his watch, Daryl's body woke him up, not Carol. He was concerned, but saw Carol sitting in the doorway with the rifle on her lap, eyes glue outside. He rolled off the couch and took the gun.

"I can do yours." She looked up. "It's fine."

"No, get some rest."

She stood up. "Good night then." She went upstairs and joined Beth, falling asleep the minute her head touched the pillow.

Daryl waited until Carol and Beth were sleeping deeply before he went into Jeremiah's room. "Hey, kid, wake up."

"Gimme five more minutes, Dad..." he murmured.

"Get up." Daryl unlocked the handcuffs.

He opened his eyes. "Dad?"

"I ain't your dad."

"Daryl." He rolled onto his knees. "Is it morning all ready? Damn it, I'm so exhausted."

"No, it ain't morning, but you gotta go."

"Go?" He rubbed his eyes. "Oh, you're kicking me out, I see."

"Beth's gotten real attached to you, and I just ain't givin' you a second change. I prepared a bag for you, but that's it." He held the bag out.

"That's all I could ask for." He stood up. "Thank you, Daryl. You have a nice group. Don't lose them. Or Carol."

"What?"

"Beth told me, and that vent is a great for eavesdropping. Good luck out there, yeah? Tell Beth I left, 'cause she's boisterous, and she'll probably go off on you." He put the backpack on. "Carpe diem. You should take that to heart. I may be miserable, but you shouldn't be. That's my last word." He walked out of the room, Daryl listened, hearing the front door oh-so slowly shut, and he got the feeling he would end up seeing that kid again.

– – –

"I think it's worth looking at." Michonne crossed her legs, sitting on the edge of the roof, keeping watch with Rick. "Don't you?"

Rick met her eyes. "I don't know. Could be. It's...a long drive, and we have a lot of people. Not to mention the countless walkers and pillagers."

"It's worth a shot. We can't stay here. People will come looking for clothes, shoes and shelter, and most of them won't be looking to join a group of strangers."

"I know. We gotta to go somewhere. I just don't know where." He handed her his rifle and sat beside her. "You should talk to the others about this. The council. I'm not the one in charge."

"They're looking for places too. I just wanted another opinion." She scanned the parking lot. "We need somewhere with walls, and we'll need crops and livestock."

"You're thinkin' what I'm thinkin', aren't you?"

"Most of it was burned down from the map he drew, but that place is familiar to you, and he had a lot of traps set up. If need be, we go back to the prison and take the traps from there."

"I don't know if Morgan will like that. He seems pretty adamant 'bout bein' left alone."

"Well, we don't have much of a choice, do we? It's either him or we're on the road until we find somewhere to go."

He exhaled deeply. "I wish Judy was older. She'll bring walkers down on us more than anyone else."

She set a hand on his thigh. "She'll be fine. We'll protect her and the others."

He stood up and gestured behind them vaguely. "There's an RV in the parking lot. Glenn and I are going to see if it still works tomorrow. That bus is too loud."

"Maybe I should go. You don't seem very good with your hands," she teased.

"The bathroom flooding wasn't my fault. It was the women. Y'alls hair clogged the drains."

"Wasn't my hair."

He chuckled.

The door opened, Maggie and Sasha came to relieve them, and they walked back. Rick checked in on Judy and Carl, Michonne checked in on Lizzie like she told Daryl she would, and she and Rick went to bed at the same time.

When Michonne woke up, Maggie and Sasha were asleep, Bob and Ty were watching from the roof, and Glenn and Carl were by the front door. She saw Lilly and Jeanette having an awful time with the kids and making them something to eat. Supplies were running thin, so they couldn't make much, but with the kids and Judy fussing, they couldn't make anything.

She took Judith from Lilly to allow her to make something, and Lilly thanked her as she walked the kids to the food court with Jeanette, leaving Michonne, Judith, Rick, Maggie and Sasha alone on this end. She decided to wake Rick up, because she needed the bag underneath Beth's bed, and she couldn't reach it while holding a baby.

"Rick." She shook him.

"Huh?" He opened his eyes. "What?"

"Your daughter wants you."

His body felt so heavy as he dragged himself out of bed. He was so tired. "I don't think me holdin' her is a good idea right now."

"Well, either you hold her or she rolls off your bed." She eliminated the space between them, her thighs right against his. She carefully set Judy in his arms, Judy grasped some of Michonne's dreads in a death grip, and Rick had to move even closer, because one of Michonne's hands was stuck between him and Judy. She winced as Judy tugged on her hair.

"Judy, stop." Rick tried to uncurl her little fingers, but she was stubborn, and he was still too tired. He didn't want to hurt her either. "Let go."

"Rick." Michonne met his eyes.

"What?"

She cleared her throat, nodding her head downward, and he blushed.

"I'm sorry."

"It's—not a toy, Judith. Let go." She freed her arm and helped Rick gently pry open her little hand, and once that was out of the way, Michonne removed both of her arms. "I'll be right back." She walked over to Beth's bed, dropped to her knees and grabbed the bag. She dug through it and found what she needed and returned to them. "I'll change her, and you can feed her."

He nodded, not really looking at her as he handed Judith over.

She changed Judith, and Lilly found her and gave her what food she could, and Michonne carried the food and Judy back to Rick. "Do you want to feed her or should I?"

"I'll do it." He rubbed his eyes. "I'm awake now." Horrified and awake.

They ate in silence, Judy got a bit crabby with Rick, so Michonne took over. He was glad to have such amazing women in his life, and Judith needed a mother-figure. She was used to Beth and Carol, but mostly Beth. She was becoming quite fond of Michonne, and he was as well. She was more than useful, and she was a great person, very loyal, very trustful. He was glad it was Michonne who found the prison and informed them of Maggie and Glenn's abduction. She was resourceful, and in a world like this, it was key to survival. He wished a few of those who were gone were as resourceful. They might still be here.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She didn't look up from Judith's face as she said it.

"Why am I looking at you like what?" He studied her expression.

"All rosy and schoolboy-like." She lifted her eyes, smirking. "Feeling sentimental?"

"So what if I am?"

"I was just wondering what about."

"It's nothin'." He stood up. "I'll see you later." He went to find Hershel. He needed to talk to someone and figure out their situation. They couldn't leave until Daryl and the others returned, but they could have a plan formed by the time they did. Hopefully, nothing bad would happen until then. He didn't want them to get separated. They had no way of finding each other unless it's by chance. He did believe in slim chances, but the chance of them finding each other...would be nearly impossible.

– – –

Beth was keeping watch now from upstairs, using the light of the moon. She was thinking over the Jeremiah situation. She wanted to talk to him, but he needed his rest, and Daryl would flip out if he saw them in bed together. His mind would jump automatically to rape, and Beth didn't want to ruin his chances of ever coming back with them. She just needed a reason. A really good reason at that.

Downstairs, Daryl swallowed, his throat dry. He rolled over on the couch, and he was burning up. He kicked the blanket Carol had put over him off, but was still hot. He groaned and sat up.

"Oh, shit." He rolled off the couch as part of the ceiling fell down where he once was. He looked around, and the entire downstairs was in flames. It was spreading fast, especially since the damn place was made of only wood and had plenty of cloth lying around.

Daryl coughed as the smoke made its way down to his lungs, teasing the back of his throat, causing him to cough more. He crouched down and sucked in cool air. He could hear movement about him. **_Carol and Beth! _**He needed to get to them right about twenty minutes ago.

****He rushed up the stairs, holding breathe, sucking in small smokeless air when he could. He ran to their room, kicking in the door, and he saw Carol and Beth huddled on the floor, quickly putting on their shoes, a large piece of burning wood blocked their exit. He pointed to the window behind them, Carol nodded—it was their plan to begin with—and they stood up.

Daryl ran outside, Carol and Beth climbed into the windowsill, and Daryl shouted up to them. Beth flung open the window, the fire spread instantly, and they jumped out of the window. Beth cried out as she fell on her ankle, Carol pushed Beth into the ground and Daryl threw himself over both of them as the fire's heat intensified, causing the glass in the windows to shatter. Beth yelped as hot glass landed by her hand, sizzling, and Daryl glanced up.

"Let's go." He helped Beth to her feet, but when he offered his hand to Carol, she ignored it and went over to the car. He sighed and adjusted his crossbow on his back. So much for any for their talk helping anything.

"Let me see your ankle." Carol grabbed a wrap from the backseat.

Beth winced and hopped over to the car, sitting down in the backseat. "What started the fire?"

"I don't know." Carol looked at Daryl.

"Probably the fireplace," he guessed. "Knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep with it burnin'."

"Well, there goes another burnin' place we gotta leave." Beth groaned. "Does it have to be so tight?"

"Yes." Carol finished wrapping her ankle and rose. "Slid in." She tossed her bag into the backseat. "Elevate your ankle to reduce the swelling."

"Okay, Mom," Beth teased.

Carol closed the door in her face, and she saw Daryl smiling slightly. "You know that makes you her dad, right?" His smile vanished. "You're driving, Daddy Daryl." She threw the keys at him and climbed into the car.

"I don't do pet names," he called after her, walking around to the driver side.

"I'm sorry, Pookie."

He nudged her with his elbow, and she smiled. "Comfy, Beth?"

"Oh, yeah, completely. It's not like I got this gun diggin' to my thigh or this knife pinchin' my stomach—"

"Glad to hear it," he cut her off as he pulled off, leaving the burning house as it collapsed into a mess of burning rotten wood and ash.

"Oh, my God!" Beth shot up. "Jeremiah!" She looked back at the burning house, but she didn't see anyone moving away. "No."

Daryl glanced back. He needed to tell her, tell them both. He decided to wait, because Beth would yell, and that wasn't a good idea at the moment. Walkers would be coming for the house, and they needed to get the hell out of there before he got yelled at.

––

Less than halfway back to the mall, they ran out of gas. There weren't any cars nearby, so they had to walk. Daryl shouldered his overstuffed bag, Carol made sure nothing was left behind, and Beth stretched her ankle, testing it. _It should be fine,_ she murmured in her head. _Should be. _She was more focused on the fact that her friend just burned to death, and neither Carol nor Daryl were acknowledging that major fact. How could they act like nothing happened?

They started down the road, Beth was pulling in the rear, wanting to scream at their insensitivity, while Carol and Daryl were keeping the same pace.

"Hey, Beth?" Daryl stopped walking and faced her.

"Yeah?" She met his eyes, her thumbs looped through the straps on her backpack.

"'Bout Jeremiah..."

"Yeah?"

"He's alive."

"He is?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "How? How do you know that?"

"'Cause last night I sent him on his way. I knew you wasn't gonna let him go, so I did. We can't risk him."

"You did _what_?" she hissed.

"He'll be fine. He's stronger than you think."

"Not mentally and that's all that matters!" she shouted. "How could you? He was my friend!"

"He was a walkin' time bomb!" Daryl corrected. "He wants to die. Die, Beth, not diet. You can't force someone to live in this world."

"Oh, that's rich." She scoffed and pushed by him. "Did you know?" she demanded at Carol. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

"No, I didn't know, and I didn't help." She squinted in the sunlight, though she suspected. "Daryl did what he believed was best, and getting rid of Jeremiah was why we're out here in the first place."

"But... I know that. I do know that, but...I didn't even get to say...something to him." Her eyes burned with tears that threatened to pour over for first time in since her father was almost killed. "God, Daryl, you're an asshole!"

"Say you want, but keep your voice down." He gestured to the walker a few feet away.

She rolled her eyes and walked ahead, very irate.

Daryl took the walker out, Carol caught up to Beth and spoke to her while he pulled the bolt out and walked over to them. Beth didn't let him get too close, but she didn't seem so upset. Daryl eyed Carol, she just smiled and fell into step with Beth. They walked back to the mall with the heat of the afternoon sun pounding down on them.

––

About four hours in the blazing sun with a limited water supply drove them all batty. To pass the time, Beth began to hum, Daryl scanned for any walkers or people, and Carol kept stumbling over her feet, the heat getting to her.

Beth began to mutter the words, and that was fine. It was a nice tune. Daryl didn't mind, but it drove Carol up the wall. She turned. "Don't."

Beth stopped walking, coming out of her trance. "Hmm?"

"Do not sing. If you try to raise morale with the chorus to _Survivor_ or _Move Along_ or some other motivation song, I scream so loud that walkers come down on us."

Beth looked hurt. "I wasn't—"

"It's the heat talkin'," Daryl assured her. "Let's take a break. Some shade there."

Beth and Carol dropped underneath the tree, pushing the straps of their backpacks off, and Daryl looked for water since Beth was still pissed at him. He would let them talk about either him, Jeremiah or Carol wanting air conditioning.

Beth pulled her legs to her chest and rested her head on her knees. "I'd kill for some ice right now."

"I'd rather have air conditioning," Carol replied. "But there's no point to wishing."

"Not no point. Some things need wishin' for." She messaged her ankle. "Like...stuff."

"Things?" Carol arched a brow. "Stuff? How much time have you been spending with Rick?"

Beth laughed. "Not much."

"Uh-huh. No—" She yelped as an ice cold hand touched the back of her neck, and Daryl chuckled as he crouched down.

"Shh. Walkers ain't deaf." He handed a wet cloth to Beth. "Back of your neck. Got some more water if you need it." He set a bottle of stream water on the ground by Carol, the wet cloth on her shoulder.

She shuddered as she placed it on the back of her neck. "Mmm, feels good." She leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes, enjoying the hot breeze as it blew at the droplets that ran down her shoulders and arms.

Carol did the same, keeping her hands there to add pressure, causing water to run down her spine and shoulders. Daryl watched a drop slid down her collarbone into her top, and he wanted nothing more than to reach over and trail his finger down the same path, but there were rules now. Restrictions, and the last thing he needed was Carol going off on him, bringing nearby walkers over to them. Somehow he'd managed to be on both Carol's and Beth's semi-bad side.

"Thanks." She opened an eye and peeked at him.

"Ain't worth praise." He sat down. "We'll go in a minute." He pulled his legs up and rested his elbows on his knees, squinting in the sunlight.

Carol moved to be right beside Beth, looping her finger through his belt loop and tugging on it. He glanced over as she patted the ground beside her, and he slid over, half in the shade, half in the sun. It was still nice. "Here." She removed the cloth and rose up on her knee, grabbing the bottle of water and pouring cold water to the now warm cloth. She placed it on the back of his neck, he didn't shudder as she had, but he did close his eyes. "Better?"

"It's all right," he muttered.

"Huh." She felt his shoulders. "You have a lot of knots. You must be stressed."

"Who ain't?"

"What about?" She squeezed the rag so water ran down his back and neck. "Besides the obvious."

"Nothin'." He shrugged her hands off.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulder, he stiffened, feeling her cheek against his and her breasts against his back, her hands cool on his upper arms. "We've had this conversation, and lying isn't going to help."

_Look around there's no one but you and me. Right here and now, the way it was meant to be. There's a smile on my face, knowing that together everything that's in our way, we're better than alright_. The words played in Beth head. It was so their theme, she decided. She may be pissed at Daryl, but she couldn't deny they were pretty darn cute together.

He said nothing.

"At least let me help." She moved back and rubbed his shoulders, and he squirmed. "What? Am I hurting you?"

"No, it's fine."

She continued to rub his shoulders. "Just let me know if I do hurt you. I haven't done this in years."

"You ain't strong enough to hurt me."

"Don't dare me," she teased.

"_Walking between the raindrops_," Beth softly sang, but they didn't hear her over their playful banter. "_Riding the aftershock beside you. Off into the sunset, living like there's nothing left to lose. Chasing after gold mines, crossing the fine lines we knew. Hold on and take a breath, I'll be here every step_

_walking between the raindrops with you._"

"Daryl, stop squirming," she playfully teased.

"What do you want me to do?" He jolted forward. "Woman, stop."

She laughed. "Come back here." She grasped his shoulders. "Stay still."

"_Take me now. The world's such a crazy place. When the walls come down, you'll know I'm here to stay. There's nothing I would change, knowing that together everything that's in our way...we're better than alright_." She started to get into it, and she raised her voice, though she didn't know it. "_Walking between the raindrops, riding the aftershock beside you. Off into the sunset, living like there's nothing left to lose. Chasing after gold mines, crossing the fine lines we knew. Hold on and take a breath, I'll be here every step walking between the raindrops with you." _Carol and Daryl turned and stared at her._ "There's a smile on my face, knowing that together everything that's in our way...we're better than alright. W—_"

"Hey, Taylor Swift," Daryl interrupted her. "You mind?"

She opened her eyes. "You don't like Lifehouse?"

Daryl stood up. "Let's get goin'. We're losin' the light."

Carol shouldered her bag, Beth frowned at ruining their flirting as she slid her arms through the straps, and Daryl walked ahead of them this time. Beth wrung the water out of the cloth and slapped it against her face as the last of the coolness left, and Carol messaged the knots in her own shoulders as they walked, falling behind a bit. She picked up the pace as she pulled out the map, looking it over to make sure they were in the right place.

"So," Beth began as she fell into step with Daryl when he slammed a hand around her mouth and yanked her back into the trees. She saw a road block of twenty walkers, Daryl moved his hand, and she wondered where Carol had gone. "Carol?" Beth whispered.

Daryl glanced around and cursed. Where the hell was that woman? She was lookin' over a map the last time he looked over. He scanned the road and saw movement in the woods behind them. He saw her map lying on the ground by a tree. What?

"Get back." Beth shoved Daryl deeper into the wounds as the walkers stumbled up the road, and they hid behind a tree as the walkers passed them by.

Carol, where are you? He scanned the woods, but she wasn't anywhere in sight. His heart sank.


End file.
